The best kept secret in the world... any clues?

Hi Everyone,

I have been trying to conceive my 1st child for the last 3 years.
I have tried almost everything, diet, supplements, acupuncture... etc etc
Old eggs really are tough to refresh sad

In the last few months I have made a decision to go down the surrogacy path to becoming a mother as IVF is not option for me.

I know people do find surrogates but at the moment it seems to be the best kept secret in world roll eyes

I have no idea where to start with that really.

It has been such a big thing to get my head and heart around but I am hoping there is someone lovely out there who would be the right person.

Any suggestions and tips warmly welcomed.

Maybebaby2011
maybebabyrm@gmail.com
NEW ZEALAND

it has to go through the ethics committe in NZ i had a friend do this, in NZ and all went well but she had already had 5 children herself....

I just sent you an email.
Caity

Hi

Probably a silly question but have you ruled out any medical issues? Your post said you've tried accupuncture, diet and supplements but doesnt say if you've had any testing or tried drugs like Clomid.

How old are you if you dont mind me asking? I had my first at 35 and second at 38.

Thanks ladies. Any info. is great and welcome just now.

2LoveBugs - I have been to fertility specialists here in n.z. They advised me that Clomid was not an option because of my age and my 'low ovarian reserve'. All they could offer was IVF using donor eggs and that is a bit of a lottery at the best of times - and being older (I am 47 - although often mistaken for mid 30's - it's true - LOL!)even more so.

Financially it would have been wrong for me for another reason too - I am on a single income and do not want to risk getting into debt. I certainly have enough to make sure a surrogate would be supported through the pregnancy and to raise a child on my own, but not to risk it on IVF when the outcomes as explained by my fertility specialist are so poor.

smile Maybebaby
Eyes, arms and heart wide open

Hi

Probably a silly question but have you ruled out any medical issues? Your post said you've tried accupuncture, diet and supplements but doesnt say if you've had any testing or tried drugs like Clomid.

How old are you if you dont mind me asking? I had my first at 35 and second at 38.

Thanks ladies. Any info. is great and welcome just now.

2LoveBugs - I have been to fertility specialists here in n.z. They advised me that Clomid was not an option because of my age and my 'low ovarian reserve'. All they could offer was IVF using donor eggs and that is a bit of a lottery at the best of times - and being older (I am 47 - although often mistaken for mid 30's - it's true - LOL!)even more so.

Financially it would have been wrong for me for another reason too - I am on a single income and do not want to risk getting into debt. I certainly have enough to make sure a surrogate would be supported through the pregnancy and to raise a child on my own, but not to risk it on IVF when the outcomes as explained by my fertility specialist are so poor.

smile Maybebaby
Eyes, arms and heart wide open

hiya

Try www.nzsurrogacy.co.nz. There is a whole heap of people on there, that have either done the surrogacy thing, or at the minimum what avenue you may need to go through.

A friend of mine was a surrogate and found the support and info she got from them incredibly helpful.

Best of luck in your quest.

My god you look good for your age!!!!!
I don't no much about surrogacy I no that in Australia no money is to be exchanged is it the same in nz?
There is absolutely nothing wrong with surrogacy My friend was having a lot of trouble conceiving and I told her if worse came to worse I would carry her baby for her. I hope you do find a surrogate I really do best of luck

Hi Maybebaby here... something is up with my email and password... I can't seem to log back in with them anymore - even though it says it recognises my email... oh well.

Thanks - that is my photo... people always think I am younger than I am. My poor sister hates it... they think I am her little sister LOL!

That is right. No money can changes hands. The intending parent/s can only pay for medical things, vitamins, transport to scans stuff like that. Although birthdays and Christmas you can be generous. I have read stories where the surrogate is given vouchers for massage, accupunture,maternity clothes etc

Have joined the nz surrogacy site and there is loads of info. and apparently a few surrogates are members too. Fingers crossed smile

It's a topic that isn't talked about much but should be thank you for posting this it's very interesting and I really do pray that you find a surrogate and have all your dreams come true My heart goes out to youxxx
It's great they havea site where you could find a possible surrogate since some are members to. I thought that the person the baby is intended for would have to pay for medical bills etc the Christmas etc I never thought of that one lol please let me no how you go with every thing undoubtedly it would be a long process though wishing you bucket fulls of luck

Thanks 'love my lil bugs' that means a lot to me.

The process has already started in some ways. I have applied to CYFs to become an 'approved carer give' - no one can adopt without that... today I saw a lawyer who charged $450 to advise me on how the adoption process proceeds and the how the law sees surrogacy etc fascinating.

Well keep you posted...

R x

That's ok grin
Well Done you are taking a step in the right direction to succeeding in what you wish for and deserve
I would love for you to keep me posted surrogacy has always been interesting and I would love to follow your journey threw it and be there when you just need some one to talk to smile
It's just not fair when there are people like you in the world that would make beautiful mummies and struggle to reach that goal and others who aren't even able to even look after themselves let alone a child can have them makes me very angry it's not fair!!
I really hope that soon you will get the ball really rolling and you'll be even more closer to having a bubs in your armsxxx

Oh my, you are so kind grin

I am never really sure of what people REALLY think about all this. It has taken me a long to time to get my head around it all. I have heard some intending parents can get a lot of abuse. Some people think if you can't have children yourself it is natures way of saying you are not meant to. Very sad. Thankfully, I haven't encounted any reactions like that.

UPDATE
I have posted a profile and 'invitation (not an ad.)" to potential surrogates. It tells most of my story and have had 3 responses so far. There is a site called 'surrogacy international' and I have had a look on that one but was not really sure about the quality of people involved. However, I did contact one N.Z. girl and wow - she seems lovely and we have meet a couple of times and emailed. She has just told me she has "picked me". Apparently she was talking a couple of other IP's but feels the most comfortable with me! So.... I think this might be the very beginning of a very interesting and hopefully happy journey for us both. A lot more to explore with her yet but it is looking good - I have to keep pinching myself LOL!

thanks again 'love my lil bugs'
maybebaby

R x