I've noticed lately (mostly on FB but sometimes with people I know) that differing paretning syles and opinions can REALLY cause a huge issue.

Have you ever come accross this and what was the topic that caused you the problem. I can imagine some, probably smacking would be one, and breastfeeding and kindys... but what was your issue. I don't care which side of the argument you took or your stand point, just wondering what has caused you to maybe lose a friend or get into a heated argument over....

The biggest one I had was when my DD was about 1yo upwards, she had a feeding tube in becuase she was small and I used to get loads of comments about what I was feeding her. Her diet was very high fats and we were told snacks like cakes or donuts were fine... (lol wouldn't you love that diet) anyway I used to get other mothers coming up to me in the shops telling me I was a horrible horrible mother and I should be ashamed of myself for feeding my daughter like that!! haha... Meh... I knew I was doing the right thing for my girl!!

I have never had a heated debate or converstation regarding diffrent parenting styles untill I came to Huggies !

I have a best friend who circumsises her sons and pierces her daughters ears and she lets her kids play with guns and stay up late ..they dont have a bed time ....I dont agree with a single decision she has made but it hasnt never occored to me to have a heated discussion with her about it ..she can do what she wants and I will do what I want ..

only on line have I seen woman get all hot under the collor due to parenting choices !!

I've never had a debate about parenting styles. Not even on here lol although I've read many!

The closest I've come is when DF sends Maddi to her a room at the drop of a hat or without any warning (you know.. 'do that one more and you can go to your room' kind of thing) but even that is only me saying it's unfair to give her no warning or that he can't just say it over everything.

My MIL and i have very different parenting styles and have caused many heated arguments. Mostly because we are strict with our kids and they didnt like it. And they made me go down to the other end of there house (where no one was) to bf (come on how much can you really see???) This caused us to stop talking/visiting for 6 (wonderful) months, until they rang and appologised.

And i have lost a friend over her parenting styles. She didnt believe in saying no to children. (well im sorry but if your acting like a spoilt little and ahd hurting my kids im going to say no.)

mine was a diet thing too, A was lactose intolerant and every single time his god mother had him she would give him ice-cream and custard etc, now she thought this was all a great game because she was much "nicer" then mean mummy who would not, that was until the day that I decided at the last minute having pulled up to see him eating a bloody have-a-heart ice-cream that he could stay and she could see just how nice she was being... several hours later she called me with him crying his eyes out because he had stomach cramps and a short period later he was on the toilet with his head in a bucket - stupid woman never believed me it was so bad...

I think this would be the quickest way for me to lose it now with Drew as he is not lactose intolerant but has a bad allergy to it, and I already get comments like oh give it to him remember Ash had that... NO PEOPLE it is NOT the same grrrr

I have a best friend who circumsises her sons and pierces her daughters ears and she lets her kids play with guns and stay up late ..they dont have a bed time ....I dont agree with a single decision she has made but it hasnt never occored to me to have a heated discussion with her about it ..she can do what she wants and I will do what I want ..

Sheesh I thought you were talking about me till I remembered that I don't really have any girls tongue

DP hates the word ta...and we agreed on teaching DS to say thankyou...and he always does (we say ta or whatever wen its dps nephew and neices cos its what they say) but we told dps fam we would appreiciate it if they say thankyou to our DS....and out of spite SIL has decided to say ta all the time (she even turned around and said "we wont tell daddy"....and we have a big issue on no soft drink etc (i dont give a hoot if the in laws give their kids coke or iced coffee) but we've cracked it wen the SIL gave DS coke wen he was 6 months old

only here on huggies do i get into debates.

not in real life though. no one has ever commented on what i do and how i do it and i wouldnt comment on something they did unless they asked for my opinion.

but we've cracked it wen the SIL gave DS coke wen he was 6 months old

Hahaha I think most would!!!

And they made me go down to the other end of there house (where no one was) to bf (come on how much can you really see???) This caused us to stop talking/visiting for 6 (f**king wonderful) months, until they rang and appologised.

My in-laws acted similar to Maddi's potty lol. I was at my sister's house with my girls and my in-laws came out to our place (DF was home) and he rang me and asked me to come home so MIL and FIL could see them (they hardly ever do). So I did but it was when Maddi was toilet training and we had a spot in the living room where we always kept her potty. So Maddi carried her potty in and put it down where it went and FIL freaked out and was saying how he didn't want to see that and it shouldn't be there and they left about 10mins after I got there lol.

I sometimes feel i'm always getting picked on. I look sometimes and think what the? but I don't know maybe the bottle of coke that 2 yearold is drinking is a life saver roll eyes

My big issue is with mum- All I ever asked her is to tell us if she gives dd1 any thing like ice cream so she doesn't have it twice in one day. So she'll ring and check before giving it to her. She actually brought hot chis for her on Monday and didn't ring. I wonder if dd2 wasn't sleeping if she would ring and check if she could have some lol.

The only person who i get into a debate with is my mil. We never see eye to eye on thing and she the same with my sil.
The wrong subject to come up is mil driving bub anywhere. Can't get threw to her that i not happy with the idea and that it never happen.
Since bub being born she being like this telling us what to do and we tell her what we want and that it.

My mum is convinced that doing something "just once" is fine. In a lot of ways it is, but she doesn't understand that everything she wants to do with bubs "just once" is about the fifth time in a row!

Bubs can miss a nap "just once" (read: all day then have a late bedtime)...
At 3mo bubs can be fed half a cupful of solids "just once" (read: everytime we eat a meal with them, once three times in one day...)

I haven't had it out with her but have had a falling out with one mum who was going to stop breastfeeding when her baby became aware of the world (around 3mo) because it was embarrassing to show her breast to her baby. She also looked down on cloth nappies till her mothers group decided it was trendy, so she harassed me for info bc asking them would make her appear less cool. She also gave away any gifts she received that weren't pink, bc she was having a girl (that's right, nothing in this baby's wardrobe and bedroom isn't pink). Ridiculous. I just politely avoid her, everything that comes out of her mouth annoys me!

I don't judge but I also don't push my opinions onto others, so I seethe quietly instead of argue. Probably not healthy.

I have had this happen with my DD. Ever since she has been about 11 months she has cottoned onto what coke is. DD is 19 months old now. So if we are going out somewhere I wash and empty can from home, and if I order coke I fill the empty can with water and put a straw init and so far she is happy with that. (not sure how long that will work though) Anyway, I have had several people come up to me and lecture me as to how wrong it is for a child to drink coke. I know it is wrong that is why I fill the can with water so she thinks she is drinking the same drink as her parents. If I didn't do this she carries on and sometimes throws a tantrum because she wants what we have.

I think people should keep their mouths shut and mind their own business. If the child is not being abused or neglected or that child is not hurting another child or animal then what one parent chooses to do with their parenting style is no one elses business.

I have had this happen with my DD. Ever since she has been about 11 months she has cottoned onto what coke is. DD is 19 months old now. So if we are going out somewhere I wash and empty can from home, and if I order coke I fill the empty can with water and put a straw init and so far she is happy with that. (not sure how long that will work though) Anyway, I have had several people come up to me and lecture me as to how wrong it is for a child to drink coke. I know it is wrong that is why I fill the can with water so she thinks she is drinking the same drink as her parents. If I didn't do this she carries on and sometimes throws a tantrum because she wants what we have.

I think people should keep their mouths shut and mind their own business. If the child is not being abused or neglected or that child is not hurting another child or animal then what one parent chooses to do with their parenting style is no one elses business.

totally agree... as long as no one goes aganinst my wishes and gives someitng to DS that i dont want him to have i coudlnt care lol... most of the time if somone asks to give DS a bit of chocolate or watever i say yes anyways ...its the not asking part i cant stand

I wonder if i live in a bubble. Ive never noticed any judgement from anyone and Im sure I dont abide by societies 'parenting rules'.

I roll my eyes sometimes - does that count?
But I suspect others do far worse about me - heck my DH even puts his 2 cents in on many occasions.

Yep we cop it quite a bit from extended family mainly. We were always told we would understand and revert to mainstream ways when our dd got older, then it changed to when we had more then one. Now they have realised we parent different from them - we are pretty much mocked whenever anything comes up. Apparently we are freaks because we treat our kids like people, respect their feelings and accept that we are responsible for their health and education rather then expecting a gov system to provide all.

I have had this happen with my DD. Ever since she has been about 11 months she has cottoned onto what coke is. DD is 19 months old now. So if we are going out somewhere I wash and empty can from home, and if I order coke I fill the empty can with water and put a straw init and so far she is happy with that. (not sure how long that will work though) Anyway, I have had several people come up to me and lecture me as to how wrong it is for a child to drink coke. I know it is wrong that is why I fill the can with water so she thinks she is drinking the same drink as her parents. If I didn't do this she carries on and sometimes throws a tantrum because she wants what we have.

I think people should keep their mouths shut and mind their own business. If the child is not being abused or neglected or that child is not hurting another child or animal then what one parent chooses to do with their parenting style is no one elses business.

I definately agree. It drives me crazy when people come up to me in the shopping centre and say things. Like you should have your baby wrapped up, they cant be playing with that etc. Also when the old people come up and touch my kids and talk to them. It just drives me mad, who knows if they're sick or what they've touched before touching my children!!

I wouldn't touch a child i didnt know or tell another mother that she's doing something wrong.

I've never really had any major issues with anyone, each to their own, and as long as they are not physically hurting or endangering their kids, it's not really our place to judge.
In saying that, DP lost one of his lifelong female friends over parenting styles. She and her family moved a long way away, but they were always on the phone to each other, and we would see each other a few times a year.
Their DS1 was a year older than our DS, but much smaller. Whenever we saw them he would try to bully, push, pull, hit our DS, but our DS is such a laidback little guy he would mostly ignore it, but a few times he did hurt him, and she never noticed. More than once I picked DS up off the floor when he was learning to walk after another shoving onto polished boards or a slap or punch. I told him off without hesitation, not harshly, but so that he knew it was not right. When they had another DS he picked on his brother terribly, one time when we went to see them he pulled the 6 month old by his head along the floor.
Then for some reason, she decided to start telling DP whenever they were on the phone that his smoking (he smokes, not in the house, not around the kids, has a jacket that gets left outside, brushes his teeth after. It's not ideal, but you can't force someone to give up) was damaging his child, he was an irresponsible parent, his son was going to grow up to hate him, all this stuff.
DP doesn't normally take that sort of critisism well, he prides himself on raising a well mannered, thoughtful (as much as a child can be lol) intelligent boy. They go for walks, to parks, read, play together, make things, cook, and spend quality time together. I have whinged a bit about DP in another post, but like I've said, I know the stay home parent has a hard job, and DP always makes sure he has time for the kids during the day to have fun.
He finally had enough one night when she was having yet another go at him and told her he thought someone who had raised a mean little bully shouldn't be judging our child by what his father does, and because he smokes doesn't make him less of a parent. Then he told her all the things her son had tried to do to ours when they were playing together. She got hugely offended, and told him if he'd said something at the time she would have done something. To which he replied she was there the entire time he was, if she couldn't see what her son was doing it wasn't his job to teach her how to parent.
I probably wouldn't have worded it that way, but he'd had enough. They have barely spoken since. I'm friends with her on FB, but she hardly talks to me either after she had a rant at me about how wrong he was and I wouldn't join in lol.

I've never really had any major issues with anyone, each to their own, and as long as they are not physically hurting or endangering their kids, it's not really our place to judge.
In saying that, DP lost one of his lifelong female friends over parenting styles. She and her family moved a long way away, but they were always on the phone to each other, and we would see each other a few times a year.
Their DS1 was a year older than our DS, but much smaller. Whenever we saw them he would try to bully, push, pull, hit our DS, but our DS is such a laidback little guy he would mostly ignore it, but a few times he did hurt him, and she never noticed. More than once I picked DS up off the floor when he was learning to walk after another shoving onto polished boards or a slap or punch. I told him off without hesitation, not harshly, but so that he knew it was not right. When they had another DS he picked on his brother terribly, one time when we went to see them he pulled the 6 month old by his head along the floor.
Then for some reason, she decided to start telling DP whenever they were on the phone that his smoking (he smokes, not in the house, not around the kids, has a jacket that gets left outside, brushes his teeth after. It's not ideal, but you can't force someone to give up) was damaging his child, he was an irresponsible parent, his son was going to grow up to hate him, all this stuff.
DP doesn't normally take that sort of critisism well, he prides himself on raising a well mannered, thoughtful (as much as a child can be lol) intelligent boy. They go for walks, to parks, read, play together, make things, cook, and spend quality time together. I have whinged a bit about DP in another post, but like I've said, I know the stay home parent has a hard job, and DP always makes sure he has time for the kids during the day to have fun.
He finally had enough one night when she was having yet another go at him and told her he thought someone who had raised a mean little bully shouldn't be judging our child by what his father does, and because he smokes doesn't make him less of a parent. Then he told her all the things her son had tried to do to ours when they were playing together. She got hugely offended, and told him if he'd said something at the time she would have done something. To which he replied she was there the entire time he was, if she couldn't see what her son was doing it wasn't his job to teach her how to parent.
I probably wouldn't have worded it that way, but he'd had enough. They have barely spoken since. I'm friends with her on FB, but she hardly talks to me either after she had a rant at me about how wrong he was and I wouldn't join in lol.

no one has ever said anything to me IRL, but i am an advocate of letting a baby cry rather than rocking or feeding to sleep - as long as i know they are not in need of anything (not sick/hungry/wet/teething) - ie they stop as soon as they see me and smile and giggle lol and its not something i would do before 5 or 6 months. the method was taught to me by a sleep consultant and we have seen how well it works with DS1, so we are about to start again with DS2.

i know its not everyone's cup of tea, but hey, it works for us so i don't really care what other people think! i have 2 good sleepers so i am not going to change anything!

no one has ever said anything to me IRL, but i am an advocate of letting a baby cry rather than rocking or feeding to sleep - as long as i know they are not in need of anything (not sick/hungry/wet/teething) - ie they stop as soon as they see me and smile and giggle lol and its not something i would do before 5 or 6 months. the method was taught to me by a sleep consultant and we have seen how well it works with DS1, so we are about to start again with DS2.

i know its not everyone's cup of tea, but hey, it works for us so i don't really care what other people think! i have 2 good sleepers so i am not going to change anything!

Good on you. I didnt do the cry thing with my kids, as i didnt like it. If it works for you then thats all that matters. This thread is very similar to one started earlier. And again i say, as long as the kids are safe and well then do what works for you. I could not be bothered arguing with people over parenting issues, its just not worth it.

edited

I smack DS on the bum if he does something life threatening. A few months ago we were at the shops and DS1 thought it'd be fun to run out onto the road. So I smacked his bum and said that was naughty and he could have gotten very hurt.
I had a few women give me filthies and had an old man come up and say to me "well done"
i couldnt care less what people think of my parenting style, but if we're out and about and DS1 is being naughty I can count to 2 (I never get to 3 lol) and he stops what he's doing or comes back.

Good on you. I didnt do the cry thing with my kids, as i didnt like it. If it works for you then thats all that matters. This thread is very similar to one started earlier. And again i say, as long as the kids are safe and well then do what works for you. I could not be bothered arguing with people over parenting issues, its just not worth it.

this thread was actually started in june 2010! I thought it looked familiar when I went to post!

this thread was actually started in june 2010! I thought it looked familiar when I went to post!

Ha. That is a while ago.