glasses, freckles, dark/light skin, blue hair, three arms..... Anything that makes your kid 'different'

Well sorry if this is a bit long but here goes...

First a bit of background..My son ashy (5) has CP (cerebral Palsy) a rare type which makes him floppy like a rag doll, he wears splint constantly day and night but mentally he is fine - he does have some autistic type behaviours due to severe sensory sensitivities which can be difficult and frontal lobe damage which causes poor impulse control. Sometimes he gets quite hooked on things and wont let an idea go or will think about something quite upsetting and cry and cry.

He's actually pretty smart and I love him to bits and he has heaps of friends but he's coming to the age where he has started asking questions about himself - why he cant do this and that and others can.

He knows he has differences from others kids - he's very observent (sp?) and listens to everything!! (dont they all!). I've never hidden the fact that there is anything different about him and have always been quite open and will tell him - as best I can - and explain what he has - even if his understanding of it isnt great I thought that was important as he was always hearing his therapists talk anyway and he was hearing the words CP also.

Anyway he has starting saying some things of late totally out of the blue (we dont talk about it much or point the fact out that he has CP) that tug a bit at the heart strings such as "I hate having cerebral palsy, if I didnt have cerebral palsy then I would be able to jump like indie" and stuff like "indie is a great jumper, I cant jump though - I have cerebral palsy but indie doesnt - maybe when im eight I wont have cerebral palsy anymore and I will be able to jump to" .....

Anyway so today he was sitting on the couch after having his friend over to play and he goes "mum will I have cerebral palsy forever" I say "yes" then he gets very upset because he doesnt want it forever and he crys for a good 40mins saying he's never gonna jump...

The jumping thing really bothers him, its one thing that he has focused on and knows he cannot do. Its not really even about that though I think thats the only connection he can make at the moment as there is many things he cant do that his friends can but this is the one he can verbalize (sp) really well.

Anyway so I try to explain to him that everyone has something they are not good at, im not good at whistling - actually I barely can at all but im good at drawing - he's not good at jumping but he's great at being a big brother and video games. He said "yeah and falling over" (seriously mind you - as a good thing - it breaks my heart that he would even think of this).
I also tell him to never give up and the important thing is to always have a go and keep trying - he said he wants to give up. I think maybe he said that cause he cracked the sads but im not sure how much seriousness was behind that :/

Anyway apart from telling him those things I dont know what else I can do. He has heaps of friends who love and except him the way he is at school and out so this is all coming from his own little head.

Im not sure what ashy tells his friends when they ask (most of them never do) although one kid asked him why he walked like a penguin and he said "I dont know but your a great walker!" He has great confidence most of the time but he gets really down on himself. I worry its just gonna get worse and I want to give him positive things to focus on and a positive attitude to himself and life and to focus on the things he can do.

So anyway my question is whatever big or small makes your child different from others how do you teach them to accept who they are and not wish they were someone else or something else. How do you get them to be proud of who they are and everything about themselves.

How do you get them to understand and accept who they are. Do your children talk about the things that make them different do they get sad about it and what do you say??? I just dont know anymore.....

Sorry for rambling im a bit tired, thanks if you got this far - would love to hear some of your mummy opinions...

Cady

Cady I can't offer any advice I just want to say your little one sounds like a true gem xxxx

Cady I can't offer any advice I just want to say your little one sounds like a true gem xxxx

aww thanks - he's such sweetheart and a really good boy - most of the time tongue - he's a true love bug smile

DD is dark skinned and her father lives interstate so she doesn't have people in her immediate life that she gets to see that have different skin like her. She points it out quite a bit now that she is older but I just deal with it as I go. We are getting a big family photo done of all of the grandchildren for my parents mid next year (waiting on another arrival lol) and I think thats when she is going to really look at the pic and see that she is surrounded by others who are different so I know we will have a chat on our hands. Not really the same situation your in though is it. Your little mr sounds amazing, and I'm sure as he grows up he will come to learn to love himself and he will live a great life :)He sounds like one smart cookie smile

It sounds like you are doing an amazing job with him and what you are portraying! All of the positive comments and showing him how to look at the things he can do well will definately stay on his mind if you keep it up! It has to be heart breaking to hear him talk about what he wants to do, but knows he never can. Do you have any local support? I know our local disability services (government run) have loads of people you can chat to about that sort of thing and just ask the question! They may have some ideas that you could possibly use? I am sure other parents with children who have CP have experienced the same sort of worries. Are there any places where you can chat/connect with them and find out their thoughts/ideas?

I was just thinking as soon as you wrote about him not being able to jump....I don't know much about CP and him having splints on his legs....but would he be able to go on one of those harness trampoline things??? They put a harness on them and when they push off on the tramp, the harness supports them and helps them to jump????

Hope that he finds the strength and courage within himself to realise he is perfect the way he is and that his 'disability' does not mean he has to be second best in life. You are an amazing mother and raising two other beautiful children at the same time - you have the strength and courage in yourself and he will see that and reflect that!
All the best,
Caity

What a great topic! Firstly your son sounds like he is going to be a amazing lil boy,and you sound like a great mum smile
I believe children should understand and accept differences.It can be a little hard to explain to them and I dont know the answer,maybe you can say something like god made people all different and special in their own ways.Hecreated ppl to help other ppl in some way and everybody is important.
My daughter who is nearly 5 has freckles and the other day while looking in the mirror she asked me why she had lots of pimples lol.I explained to her that they were freckles and it was from the sun.My other daughter has red hair,she is only a toddler but I know when she is older she will probably be teased about that.I will try my hardest to bring my children up so that they're confident with themselves,and hopefully bullying or name calling will affect them to much.
My step daughter who is nearly 7 has thick glasses and she is really comfortable and confident with them.She is always making positive remarks about having to wear them.
Sorry Im rambling on!
It sounds like you're doing a great job with your son and he is probably going to have his down times but all you can do is support him and try to make him see the postives about him.Which it sounds like you're already doing.
I wish you both all the best.

DD is dark skinned and her father lives interstate so she doesn't have people in her immediate life that she gets to see that have different skin like her. She points it out quite a bit now that she is older but I just deal with it as I go. We are getting a big family photo done of all of the grandchildren for my parents mid next year (waiting on another arrival lol) and I think thats when she is going to really look at the pic and see that she is surrounded by others who are different so I know we will have a chat on our hands. Not really the same situation your in though is it. Your little mr sounds amazing, and I'm sure as he grows up he will come to learn to love himself and he will live a great life :)He sounds like one smart cookie smile

It is sad to see this over the colour of skin. I know a little girl who like your DD is the only dark skinned person around and, although she is fine now, when younger would cry in the bathroom mirror trying to wash away the "dirt". She was also scared of other darker skinned people and was incredibly racist. All this because she wasn't like her older sisters.

To the OP, you sound like you are doing a great job for your son and he sounds like a wonderful little man, heres hoping that this mindset is something he will grow out!

Cady I can't offer any advice I just want to say your little one sounds like a true gem xxxx

i completely agree and Cady, you are one great mum. i think you are saying all the right things.

can you get in contact with the local community or wider community and find sommeone with similiar disablilities so he can actually visually see how cool the other person in... we have a man at the new world who works and managers part of the shop with CP... wouldn't it be great to see someone like that with a cool job.

your son sounds like he is asking questions like most children.... my son always asks interesting questions as he has a syndrome that only a few other kids his age have in NZ.... and can put a stop to some things because he is to ill to do

Hi there.

your son does sound like a very smart boy!

i cannot give advice really as i have not experianced having a child with CP but just wanted to suggest something anyways..

i was thinking to help him see more positave things about himself maybe you could sit down with him and get a big peice of coloured paper and some pens and craft stuff and make a nice big thing off all the things he is really good at and all the things he likes etc. and put it somewhere he can always look at it if he tries to say about putting anything negitave in just tell him along the lines of this is all the good things they are better then the things he cant to or something?

i agree with PPs about the trampoline part i think that would be a great experiance for your lil man!
also with him meeting older people living w CP and get some insperation.

im sure he will come to terms with it and it sounds like you are doing a great job in supporting him..

take care x0
crissy

It is sad to see this over the colour of skin. I know a little girl who like your DD is the only dark skinned person around and, although she is fine now, when younger would cry in the bathroom mirror trying to wash away the "dirt". She was also scared of other darker skinned people and was incredibly racist. All this because she wasn't like her older sisters.

i dont think its sad to see this post. my son's father is african and my daughter's isnt. therefore he is dark and she is not. he always points out that he is brown there is nothing racist about it at this age, (both my son and me&uis2!'s daughter are 3 yrs old) and to them thats all it is a difference. same as if their sister or brother or family had different coloured hair or eyes they would want to know. thats all this is, normal curiosity.

to the op sounds like you are doing a great job, and like other posters have said just keep doing what ur doing, and if ur not already maybe get in contact with some CP support groups.

i cant remember if u said how old he is, but maybe just keep him focussed on things he CAN do... maybe get him to write a list of things to put on his wall, and next to it a set of achievable goals for him to work towards?

also once he is old enough maybe expain to him that its his choice the way he lives his life, he can either chose to be miserable about it, or he can focus on positive things and make himself happy.

Your son sounds like an amazing lil guy and you an amazing mum!! smile

I do have a little personal experience with CP...
My nephew is almost 3 and has been diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy...
He was diagnosed about 2 years ago with the form Spastic diplegia...
Doctor don't believe he will ever walk unaided but we are hoping to prove them wrong! smile

As he lives several hours away I don't see him that often but talk with my brother and SIL regularly...
He has been doing physio since he was about 16mths old and is in a wheelchair but has been improving... grin

This is a topic my brother & SIL are quite worried about... Their plan is to just take it as it comes...

I too recommend if you haven't already contact a CP support group. smile
The best I can say is show him how good he is at other things...
Not everyone is good at everything...

Sounds as though you are doing a brilliant job in supporting him!

Best of luck.

Thanks all but im no more amazing than any of you, being a mum is hard regardless and its disturbing to find that so many kiddies have difficult things that they have to deal with. Like kiddies with allergies or illnesses big or small its hard. I actually find my 3 year old daughters behaviour more difficult than ashy now that he is older, she is a little terror!! tongue [quote name='me&uis2!' date='28 December 2010 - 11:58 PM' timestamp='1293542902' post='2877575'] DD is dark skinned and her father lives interstate so she doesn't have people in her immediate life that she gets to see that have different skin like her. She points it out quite a bit now that she is older but I just deal with it as I go. We are getting a big family photo done of all of the grandchildren for my parents mid next year (waiting on another arrival lol) and I think thats when she is going to really look at the pic and see that she is surrounded by others who are different so I know we will have a chat on our hands. Not really the same situation your in though is it. Your little mr sounds amazing, and I'm sure as he grows up he will come to learn to love himself and he will live a great life :)He sounds like one smart cookie smile [/quote] Hopefully you can prepare yourself a bit now that you know it might be coming - its the questions of the blue that really get me! [quote name='Caity' date='29 December 2010 - 12:03 AM' timestamp='1293543194' post='2877576'] It sounds like you are doing an amazing job with him and what you are portraying! All of the positive comments and showing him how to look at the things he can do well will definately stay on his mind if you keep it up! It has to be heart breaking to hear him talk about what he wants to do, but knows he never can. Do you have any local support? I know our local disability services (government run) have loads of people you can chat to about that sort of thing and just ask the question! They may have some ideas that you could possibly use? I am sure other parents with children who have CP have experienced the same sort of worries. Are there any places where you can chat/connect with them and find out their thoughts/ideas? I was just thinking as soon as you wrote about him not being able to jump....I don't know much about CP and him having splints on his legs....but would he be able to go on one of those harness trampoline things??? They put a harness on them and when they push off on the tramp, the harness supports them and helps them to jump???? Hope that he finds the strength and courage within himself to realise he is perfect the way he is and that his 'disability' does not mean he has to be second best in life. You are an amazing mother and raising two other beautiful children at the same time - you have the strength and courage in yourself and he will see that and reflect that! All the best, Caity [/quote] He's a registered client of Novita (formerly the crippled childrens assoc) but now that he is school age many of the activities like hydro and playgroup that he used to attend he no longer can do to his age and time restraints. Other than that there is nothing really. All the kids he sees and hangs around can do the things he cant and he is really starting to notice and get upset about it - not all the time but especially the jumping thing and running to I guess. The trampoline idea is good actually - he wouldnt have the strength to push off himself but it would be enough so that he would get a feel for it. I have actually taught him to jump in water but he has specifically told me he wants to jump when he's not in the water just on the ground so the tramp idea might work. I think they have one down by the beach that they set up in summer. [quote name='rissy84' date='29 December 2010 - 12:12 AM' timestamp='1293543759' post='2877579'] My step daughter who is nearly 7 has thick glasses and she is really comfortable and confident with them.She is always making positive remarks about having to wear them. [/quote] See this is what I want. I figure that if he is confident about it and has positive things to say that when he comes to the age where other kids do start to notice and say stuff or tease him that he will have enough confidence to say something (nice of course) and be proud of his differences instead of embarrassed or ashamed about them. [quote name=' <<..A.W.S..>>' date='29 December 2010 - 07:00 AM' timestamp='1293568237' post='2877600'] It is sad to see this over the colour of skin. I know a little girl who like your DD is the only dark skinned person around and, although she is fine now, when younger would cry in the bathroom mirror trying to wash away the "dirt". She was also scared of other darker skinned people and was incredibly racist. All this because she wasn't like her older sisters. Awww thats sad - poor little girl sad - im glad to here shes okay now though - I tend to think that people can be like that when they have a poor understanding and are scared by it, it creates hostility (for the lack of a better word) out of being afraid. Thats why I think its important to talk about it. [quote name='subzero' date='29 December 2010 - 08:15 AM' timestamp='1293572751' post='2877623'] can you get in contact with the local community or wider community and find sommeone with similiar disablilities so he can actually visually see how cool the other person in... we have a man at the new world who works and managers part of the shop with CP... wouldn't it be great to see someone like that with a cool job. your son sounds like he is asking questions like most children.... my son always asks interesting questions as he has a syndrome that only a few other kids his age have in NZ.... and can put a stop to some things because he is to ill to do [/quote] How old is your son?? Does it bother him?? It would be a good idea for him to see a positive role model, an older one in the community but I wouldnt even know where to start in finding that. Maybe if I call his Key worker they could hook him up with someone and he could see for himself that he'll still be fine when he's older and he can still do other things - that would be cool smile Cady The picture idea is a great one to actually - he is really visual so would really benefit from something like that. That would make a great activity for the day to!

I truly believe that special children are sent to their special parents for a reason, and you have just highlighted this with your OP - you are an incredible woman doing a wonderful job with a very special little boy.

I think the CP support group sounds fantastic - your state's children's hospital should be able to help you find out some more info. I also think the tramp idea is fabulous!

My children do not have any disabilities so it's hard for me to relate, but my oldest son is very hard on himself (aren;t all 1st children??), he is always saying I'm no good at this or that, and I remind him of all the things he IS good at, and when he asks why he doesn't have this or that, or if either of them ask why is that boy in a wheelchair? Why does that person have dark skin? I just say that people are like gifts, you have to open them up to see what's on the inside, and wouldn't the world be a boring place if all the presents looked and sounded the same. I don't know if that can help you but it's what my dad always said when I was a kid and we had questions about differences in ourselves and others, and I have continuesd to tell it to my kids. I wish you and your family all the very best, your son sounds like a very special little boy!

I truly believe that special children are sent to their special parents for a reason, and you have just highlighted this with your OP - you are an incredible woman doing a wonderful job with a very special little boy.


...ask why is that boy in a wheelchair? Why does that person have dark skin? I just say that people are like gifts, you have to open them up to see what's on the inside, and wouldn't the world be a boring place if all the presents looked and sounded the same.
...

^AGREE!! grin

I do believe that people are given hard times and problems because it's believed they are strong enough...


"What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger..."


Best of luck.

I think you are doing a FANTASTIC job.

Is it possible for him to meet some children that ARE like him?? It might help him to see that he's not the only one that can't jump... in a sense we all want to feel 'normal' so it's healthy for us to mix with others that are similar to us as well as mix with others that are different to us so that we can have compassion, understanding and acceptance for people that are different. In your sons case though he is the one that is different... and prehaps it would help him to meet other children that are have CP to get a sense that in some social circles he is normal too.

I'm not sure what therapies you have looked into - have you thought about botox? It has had a huge sucess in many children with CP.

From what you are saying though I think you are being an awesome mum and he is so fortunate to have you. smile

Your son sounds like an amazing lil guy and you an amazing mum!! smile

I do have a little personal experience with CP...
My nephew is almost 3 and has been diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy...
He was diagnosed about 2 years ago with the form Spastic diplegia...
Doctor don't believe he will ever walk unaided but we are hoping to prove them wrong! smile

As he lives several hours away I don't see him that often but talk with my brother and SIL regularly...

Hi,

We wernt sure whether our son would walk or not either but at 3 and a half he started taking his first steps and although he doesnt walk like other kids, his slow and falls over constantly, he still gets around and its the best feeling ever!!

I definately wouldnt give that hope up. Dr told us that splints on his legs wouldnt make him walk but they have definately helped and only started walking after wearing them.

I just say that people are like gifts, you have to open them up to see what's on the inside, and wouldn't the world be a boring place if all the presents looked and sounded the same. I don't know if that can help you but it's what my dad always said when I was a kid and we had questions about differences in ourselves and others, and I have continuesd to tell it to my kids. I wish you and your family all the very best, your son sounds like a very special little boy!

aww thats really sweet! I'll use that next time smile Its a good analogy, and kid friendly.
Sometimes its hard to find the right words and explain it in a way that they can understand.

I think you are doing a FANTASTIC job.

Is it possible for him to meet some children that ARE like him?? It might help him to see that he's not the only one that can't jump... in a sense we all want to feel 'normal' so it's healthy for us to mix with others that are similar to us as well as mix with others that are different to us so that we can have compassion, understanding and acceptance for people that are different. In your sons case though he is the one that is different... and prehaps it would help him to meet other children that are have CP to get a sense that in some social circles he is normal too.

I'm not sure what therapies you have looked into - have you thought about botox? It has had a huge sucess in many children with CP.

From what you are saying though I think you are being an awesome mum and he is so fortunate to have you. smile

Hey,

I've found that its a bit hard really to find others but I'll definately talk to his key worker about maybe finding a buddy or something that he can ask questions or see for himself what they are like - someone maybe that he can relate to.

He has done a lot of therapy. Its all provided through Novita. He's had hydro, physio, speech, psychology, playgroup, and has attended events with kids like him. I try to participate in the fun events they have through the year but its definately getting harder with 3 kiddies now and him being at school. A lot of the activities stop when they start school and the therapy structure changes dramatically to the younger kids with CP or brain injuries.

He's not at the stage of needing botox and hopefully he wont. It can be provided through Novita but its only temporary and needs to be re-done every few months but the waiting list is quite huge and the splints that he wears currently do the job. The only benefit from botox would be to release the muscles in his calves (which are the only stiff part) the rest of his body is floppy. But by wearing the splints it brings his foot flat to the ground. If he is not wearing them he walks on his toes. The only other way to get his feet down would be to cast his legs but he has had that done many times and its only temporary also.
Even if his feet were flat to the ground he is still not physically strong enough and doesnt have enough control to jump etc I doubt he will be able to but its definately something that I can ask his ped next time and what the likelyhood of it ever happening are.

I dont want to tell him that he will be able to jump one day but I do want him to never give up and stop trying because I guess he'll never learn or know if its something he can do if he doesnt have a go and a positive attitude to it also.

The tramp idea might be good cause it might change his perspective or focus and give him that motivation to keep going until the next issue arises I guess.

you guys have definately given me some good ides to work on though. Its always great to get some different ideas, just when I guess you've thought of everything someone always comes up with a great suggestion and you end up thinking now why didnt I think of that!! smile smile

It is sad to see this over the colour of skin. I know a little girl who like your DD is the only dark skinned person around and, although she is fine now, when younger would cry in the bathroom mirror trying to wash away the "dirt". She was also scared of other darker skinned people and was incredibly racist. All this because she wasn't like her older sisters.

To the OP, you sound like you are doing a great job for your son and he sounds like a wonderful little man, heres hoping that this mindset is something he will grow out!

I don't find it sad that my daughter is 'different' than other people in her life. We are all different in our own ways. She is 3 years old that's why she point out that mummy is white and she is black. Or mummy is vanilla and she is chocolate. She knows she is different, she knows her dad is different too and I have showed her how mummy and daddys colours mixed together and made her colour (cold black coffee and milk) She isn't sad that she isn't the same as others, it is yet to have a negative impact on her. I do think the photo next year is going to be something that makes her sit back and look and really realise but it isn't going to be a negative thing, I wont let it be. I would be horrified if i caught her trying to wash her colour off thinking she was dirty and I would sit her down then and there and explain it to her again but in todays society she is going to be just fine. Look at the childrens tv shows, books, etc, most of them have characters of all different colour/race, and it's about time!

i dont think its sad to see this post. my son's father is african and my daughter's isnt. therefore he is dark and she is not. he always points out that he is brown there is nothing racist about it at this age, (both my son and me&uis2!'s daughter are 3 yrs old) and to them thats all it is a difference. same as if their sister or brother or family had different coloured hair or eyes they would want to know. thats all this is, normal curiosity.

to the op sounds like you are doing a great job, and like other posters have said just keep doing what ur doing, and if ur not already maybe get in contact with some CP support groups.

i cant remember if u said how old he is, but maybe just keep him focussed on things he CAN do... maybe get him to write a list of things to put on his wall, and next to it a set of achievable goals for him to work towards?

also once he is old enough maybe expain to him that its his choice the way he lives his life, he can either chose to be miserable about it, or he can focus on positive things and make himself happy.

I'll be the same Lissi, I don't think her father and I will get back together in future, our lives are just so different now but I'm not going to not continue my life and have more children if I meet the right person in the future just because I will have children of different race. To our kiddies their different colour will be as normal as having different coloured hair or eyes, because of how open we are with them about their skin colour while we raise them grin grin

Wow! I think you are both amazing and doing a super job!
I don't have much to offer as I am not in your situation but if I am ever faced with a challenge such as yours, hope that I can be half as strong and inspirational as you.
I just thought that I might mention the name Nick Vujicic to you. We have shown his clip to Primary age children and it's had a profound effect on many of them.
Nick is a young man who was born without arms and legs and he is a motivational speaker. Many of his talks are on YouTube and worth watching (in my opinion). I'm not sure if it will be of benefit to your son or yourself yet but perhaps in the future?
Anyway, I wish you the best of luck with everything and hope that you find any answers to help you along your way.

Hi OP i think you and DS sound like an amazing team and i'm sure he will achieve many of his goals, maybe not all but he will have a bloody good go at it. Having a disability i think makes a more determined person.

DH was born with only 1 hand, long story short he has been picked on,stared at and discriminated against all his life because of his disability and this i believe has made him the amazing partner and father he is today.

He has had many goals he has set himself the main one qualifying as a tradesman which is definately a 2 handed job 98% of the time but he has managed and found his own way of getting over hurdles.

His parents if anything were hard on him and didn't do things for him, he had to try and figure a way for himself on how to do certain things he thought he couldn't do, but again he managed to find a way, maybe not the quickest or right way but he achieved the same result.

You encourage him and for DH at 30's is all he needs to hear even if he can't find a way to do certain things as it is just impossible for him to do, he know he's tried and supported.

DH knows that there are many people worse off than him, he has his health and happiness and to him this is all he needs.

Good luck with your little man.

Hugs smile

I don't find it sad that my daughter is 'different' than other people in her life. We are all different in our own ways. She is 3 years old that's why she point out that mummy is white and she is black. Or mummy is vanilla and she is chocolate. She knows she is different, she knows her dad is different too and I have showed her how mummy and daddys colours mixed together and made her colour (cold black coffee and milk) She isn't sad that she isn't the same as others, it is yet to have a negative impact on her. I do think the photo next year is going to be something that makes her sit back and look and really realise but it isn't going to be a negative thing, I wont let it be. I would be horrified if i caught her trying to wash her colour off thinking she was dirty and I would sit her down then and there and explain it to her again but in todays society she is going to be just fine. Look at the childrens tv shows, books, etc, most of them have characters of all different colour/race, and it's about time!

Sorry if that didn't come out clear. I don't find it sad that this particular girl is a different colour, I find it sad that she felt like she wasn't as good because of her skin colour. By saying that she was being racist this affected her at a slightly older age then your little one is and she would make nasty comments about people based on their skin colour. Walking through a shopping centre she was say that the darker skinned person was ugly and bad etc. If you asked why she would say because they were black.

I just think its sad to see a young person upset of a part of themselves that they should be instead be proud of. They should be proud of their skin colour their eye colour, the way they speak.

Just like to add.

DD is 2 now and starting to notice Daddy's hand is different, we haven't yet spoke on what we are going to tell her, but your thread has inspired me to instigate the conversation as it is not something DH likes to talk about with children as they repeat constantly Why?? but we have to do it soon, as you say it's the out of the blue question that gets you and we have to be prepared.

Thank you