hi everyone.

DS is nearly 15 months old and he constantly pulls hair and hits. He will deliberately go behind my daughter and pull her hair or mine. Our hair is both half way down our backs and I'm reluctant to cut it just to help solve this problem.

He also hits a lot. And he always hits in the face or the head. You can tell it is deliberate and I'm at a loss of what to do with these 2 problems. DD tells him no and to stop she doesn't like it. I have tried removing him and telling him no, I have smacked his hand when he does it.

He is overall quite rough and my daughter was never like this. He will climb on top of her and sit on her head, he pushes her around and demands attention a lot so at the moment they are fighting for attention.

They get along quite well but this is really driving me crazy and I don't know what I can do to discourage this behaviour. He throws things a lot but I know that's normal. His carers at daycare cannot believe how he is at home. He is very gentle with all the other kids, doesn't hit, doesn't pull hair and is very patient when it comes to waiting for his lunch and things but at home he's none of this. When I leave him at care he's one of the quietest kids there but when i walk in that door all he does is cry and they are astonished at this.

They only have me at home so I have to split attention between them and that is why they fight for it and I understand that but I just don't know what else to do.

Sorry for the novel. Please help.

Meh, my daughters the same. She's 18 months now and has been bullying her brother for months now. I've tried everything. She is VERY intelligent but still has to be such a cow.
It's getting better as she's getting older. Just think some kids are more prone to this sort of thing more than others. I'm hoping she just grows out of it and firmly believe she shall.
I've tried redirection. Getting her attention diverted. Yelling. Smacking. Growling. Ignoring.
She's too young for bribery, rewards charts etc and naughty chairs/corners.
Nothing works.
But, the frequency with which she is doing it is slowly declining now as she's aging.

Thanks for the reply. Hopefully he grows out of it soon. Its sending me batty.

hi everyone.

DS is nearly 15 months old and he constantly pulls hair and hits. He will deliberately go behind my daughter and pull her hair or mine. Our hair is both half way down our backs and I'm reluctant to cut it just to help solve this problem.

He also hits a lot. And he always hits in the face or the head. You can tell it is deliberate and I'm at a loss of what to do with these 2 problems. DD tells him no and to stop she doesn't like it. I have tried removing him and telling him no, I have smacked his hand when he does it.

He is overall quite rough and my daughter was never like this. He will climb on top of her and sit on her head, he pushes her around and demands attention a lot so at the moment they are fighting for attention.

They get along quite well but this is really driving me crazy and I don't know what I can do to discourage this behaviour. He throws things a lot but I know that's normal. His carers at daycare cannot believe how he is at home. He is very gentle with all the other kids, doesn't hit, doesn't pull hair and is very patient when it comes to waiting for his lunch and things but at home he's none of this. When I leave him at care he's one of the quietest kids there but when i walk in that door all he does is cry and they are astonished at this.

They only have me at home so I have to split attention between them and that is why they fight for it and I understand that but I just don't know what else to do.

Sorry for the novel. Please help.

For the hair pulling I'd be going with a firm "no, dont pull my hair" and put him in a little time out - I used to put my youngest into her cot then shut the door and leave the room, worked for her. Also might help to wear your hair in a pony tail for a while so its not so accessible to him.

For the hitting I'd go with the same idea, a very firm "no, dont hit" and put him in his room alone (the cot is good as he cant play, he's just sat there on his own).

Its a matter of repetition and a consequence, ie he'll be put on his own if he hits or pulls hair. Sounds like he's trying to get your attention so you have to tell him no and put him somewhere he wont get any attention.

The crying when you pick him up from daycare is a symptom of separation anxiety. My eldest did the same thing, took me a while to figure out. She was always ok when I left and ok while I was away but every time I picked her up she got really upset - they let their guard down with mum like they wont around others so when they see you again all the stress and emotion comes out, hence the crying. They have missed you and cant express it verbally. This shouldnt be such a mystery to the workers there!

I understand EXACTLY how you feel. Somedays i'm stressed to the eye balls because she just won't stop no matter how much i try and get her to. Good thing her brother is such a good kid. He cops it but doesn't hurt her back.
But, we go days now where she's not directly hurting him where as she used to do it every day when she first started. She's a beautiful kid but so so so stubborn and head strong. If she's got it in her mind to do something, she will do it whether she knows its wrong or not. Just who she is. Her brother was the complete opposite. Most perfect little thing i have ever met.
Hopefully your child grows out of it too. Just keep being firm and insisting it's NOT a nioce thing to do.

HappyHead- Thanks for that. I have tried taking him away from things and sitting him by himself but not in his room so maybe that will be the next step for me. I didn't think the crying at care would be seperation anxiety. It hadn't even occurred to me honestly as my daughter wasn't like that so just didn't pop into my head. Is there something I can do to help this? He has to go into care so I am able to work and don't want him feeling like this at all.

Skippy-It is stressful but I just add that everything else LOL. DD is good with putting up with it but she's also going through this really sooky stage so that doesn't help. Thanks for the advice smile