My dd was sexually assualted bit over 12 months ago and we went to the police and went through court, counsellors etc.

Well know we have to have alot of sessions with a child psychologist because she is having alot of problems again.

Tommorrow we are seeing the psychologist and my mum is wonderful she has dropped and cancelled all her plans to come with my dd and i.

I am only working casually at the moment and go to my dd's school alot of the days to help her through school.

Some days im at school all day just getting her through her school day and being her support person.

I had hopped my husband would say that he would come to the psychologist , but i had to ask him if he would come. And he said he is unsure he could come with me because of the unrealibility of a work colleague.

Some times i just feel like i am the one that does everything for my dd and i run around from appointment to appointment over the last 12 months with her.

I feel i have all the stress and emotions on my shoulders and i feel like if my mum wasn't here to help me i'd be doing this alone.

If this happened to you , would you want you're husband to be more involved and would you expect him to come with you to important appointments?

Thanks im just after another person's view on am i being resnoable wanting my husband to attend the important appointments with me...

For something like what you are describing I would most certainly expect my DH to come with us. He should be there for support for your daughter and to show her she is a valued member of your family unit.

I'm sorry but I would not let that excuse about the work colleague fly. Your DD has been through something traumatic and it is clearly affecting her. I believe she definitely needs her Dad to show he is there for her and cares about her. Counseling can be very scary for a child.

Good luck I can't imagine what you all must be going through.

first of all I am sorry your family are going through this

your husband probably feels he has let her down as he should of protected her, which maybe the reason he doesn't go along with these appointments and he is very hurt and depressed

so I was wondering while you have been looking after your daughters needs are you both looking after your own needs as it just didn't affect her it has destroyede your life too knowing what has happened to your family I would suggest counselling to him for him
and to answer your question I would like my husband there but I also would like him to be in sound mind also while being there as it could affect her recovery

yeah I would expect him to come to that sort of thing.
does he talk about it at all? I mean do you both go to counselling aswell? not making excuses for him but his way of dealing with it may be kind of ignoring it IYKWIM.
but yeah I would hope for more support.

I am sorry that your family is going through this.

I would definatly want my husband to come to theose types of meetings.
I would also want him to want to be there.

Thanks for you're replies

My dh has once cried because he feels terrible and feels like he let his daughter down by not being able to protect her .

But now days he doesn't involve him self in anything execpt sport and work.

We talk when we need to but other than that i work and do every thing for dd .

And i also try my best to spend time with the other children

Firstly i like to say that i wish i could give you a hug in person.

You are such a strong person & it so good that your mum will be there with you.

Your DH needs to step away from work. He needs to be there for you & your DD. Men are stronger than us in many ways and he needs to take some of the strain off your shoulders.
He needs to talk about how this effected him too. Your DD needs him there.

You are showing your DD that you always be there for her & how much she is loved.

Hope your DH is there for you tomorrow.

First of all big hugs to you all, what a horrendous thing to go through. I think your DH needs to step up a bit and be there more for you all.maybe he needs to see a counsellor to help him get through it? Maybe you need to talk to him and see if that's an option he would be willing to do.

Agree with the others.... you are living out my worst nightmare, how awful. sad

Men have a different way of dealing with things.... I too would guess that he's not coping with what happened. It's common for men to feel like they have to be the strong one, and therefore to try and be that strong person, they end up shutting everyone out and burying themselves in lifes boring things instead when they really are not coping with it.

This puts a lot of pressure on you.... its something that you both need to be there to support each other through - I have no.doubt that its hugely draining to be supporting your daughter whilst still having your own struggles with it too.

I think rather than being upset with your dh you need to sit down and have a big chat to get it out in the open how you both are feeling. Him attending these psychologist appointments may actually help him deal with some of his feelings..... these appointments should be just as much about helping you both as parents as it is about helping your daughter.

I hope things get better over time....

Big hugs Xxx

Firstly, I am so sorry your daughter, you and your family are suffering through this nightmare. Family friends have come through a similar situation about a year ago, and it was/ still is just awful for everyone involved.

I think that perhaps as PP's have suggested your DH is not coping, so going through some denial?? Avoiding any reminders. Counselling would probably benefit him and you as well as your daughter, perhaps individual sessions? Is he open to this idea? You are carrying a huge burden on your shoulders at the moment, and need his support, as does your little girl.

I would absolutely want and expect my husband to be involved in any appointments etc that need to happen, I hope that you can get things worked out. Thinking of you.

He DEFINITELY should be there!

All the best to you and your DD x