i feel trapped and like i'm going crazy because i am married to someone who is messed up because of his alcoholic,abusive parents that he can't seem to let go of. he says he will go to couselling then doesn't. he agrees with me that we are happeier and better off without his parents in our life then goes and drags/forces them back in.

we have 2 boys and i am 22 weeks pregnant and i can't believe he has done this. the boys adore him and love him and look up to him and he is a good father. this is what makes things harder. if he was a crap father i would leave him. but i know how much it would hurt and destroy our kids not having him around all the time. i don't want to mess them up like his parents have done.

i'm so hurt, if you were to cut me i would not bleed. our life was so happy and he has gone and messed it up. i feel like i'm gong to explode.i'm having horrible thoughs and this makes me feel even worse.all i've ever wanted was was to have a happy,peacefull life and we had them for over a year and he went and popped the buble of happiness that we had and i resent him for it.

i could go into what they have done but there is 11 years worth of bs. the bottom line is that they sucked as parents, they sucked at being grandparnts, they sucked at being inlaws. they are manipulative, troublemakers that to spite me play games with their own son and grandkids.

i wish there was a magic spell i could do that will make this go away but even then it will not be real. to be honest i don't even know why i'm posing this, i guess i just need some support, hug....

Big hugs Hun what a crappy situation. I don't have any words of advice just wanted to give you a hug. Would moving away from all the bs and the in laws help do u think? Not a solution I know but maybe just a fresh start.

He needs to put you and your kids first.

Inlaws need to get help but they probably won't.

Sit your DH down & tell him how you feel & that you don't need this around you & your kids since it's not healthy.

Good Luck & hope you can get away from them to protect your family.

BIG HUGS!! Its not fair that you have to live like that.

Would it be possible to move away from your inlaws? My inlaws hate me with a passion and make it known all the time, our lives have improved so much since we have moved away from them. My kids havent seen them for over a year. DH's father will occasionally send him a message to see how things are going but it would be lucky if its 1-2 every couple of months (its not his father that is the problem its his mother)

I know it might be hard, but maybe leaving with your kids will make him wake up and realise that this isnt the life you or your kids want. Your kids would be better off not being around this bs, otherwise they would think its ok to grow up and treat people like that.

I think you have some really hard decisions to make. Best of luck and im sure you will do what is best for you and your kids.

I agree with the above comment! He needs to be able to realise that you guys come first and if its destroying you this much he needs to be responsible for that! I know its not his fault they are bad parents but it is his fault its affecting you guys as parents! I can only imagine how hard it would be for you! Just tell him how it is, tell him what your feeling and to the full extent so he understands! I would hope that he would choose you and your kids if it would come down to it!!
I really hope you get something positive out of this! Just stay strong and keep trying for your kids try to remove yourself from them as much as you possibly can!!
Good luck and i hope it works out!!

Im sorry to hear that. I can feel the sadness in your post.

My belief as to why your DH has gone back is growing up your DH just accepted what his parents were like. He didnt know any different. Now he has children of his own and realises what his kids mean to him he probably is trying to get some kind of understanding as to why his parents could treat him so badly, why they didnt love him like he loves his own kids, why they didnt care. Its got to be a huge slap in the face for him that OMG parenthood is YES hard work but the love I have for my kids is incredible so how come my parents didnt feel that way.

I think you should maybe set some guidelines. Tell him you understand his need to get answers(if thats what he's seeking) but you dont have that need and unfortunately because of their troublemaking ways you would like to steer clear of it. Let him know he is free to contact his parents but you do not want any part of it for you or your kids. Tell him you care for him and will be there for him but this is something he is on his own with.

thank you lovely ladies

appygirl you've hit the nail on the head. i can't tell you how many times i've said to him what you have just said but he just can't accept it and let go of these feelings/issues he is carrying around and get get couselling.

i have though of moving out but i have no where to go and don't want to do it if it is not a permanent soloution.

i guess things will work and how they are meant to and i will have to accept what he chooses to do but i will not accept toxic people into my life an more and if he can't lwt go then he has made the decision for me.

thanks for the support.