So I'm 7 weeks pregnant with my second baby ( I got pregnant on contraception by the way) making the decision to go through with this pregnancy was really hard for me as my son who is 12 months has a rare seizure disorder and global development delays he can't sit up crawl or walk. All the medications the doctors have tried don't work, He needs to be put on a special diet called the ketogenic diet but the only clinic in our country has only just been approved and still waiting on funding for a dietician. So having another baby is going to be really difficult to cope with and my partner doesn't want the second baby. At first he said he thought I should have an abortion then when I told him I didn't want to he said he understood but still wasn't happy about it he says he'll get use to the idea and will come around eventually but the other day I was on my laptop and he left his Facebook open and there was a message to one of his friends saying how he really doesn't want the baby and that he thinks I only want it because I feel "ripped off" that my first baby wasn't "normal" I don't where this is coming from but it's making me doubt my decision I know both our families will be against me keeping the baby also a few of my friends I have told have been really negative about it and basically told me I wont be able to cope. I don't know what to do I'm now second guessing my decision because I'm know my family will be mad and I'm scared my partner will resent the new baby cause he didn't want it. Any advice?
Advice please?
- Samanthastroobant
- New Zealand
- Total posts: 1
- MyUnexpectedBlessing
- New Zealand
- Total posts: 209
At the end of the day you need to do what is right for you. Dont not have a baby because your family will be mad. Would you be able to forgive yourself if you had an abortion.
Talk with your partner about how he really feels. And dont forget there is a lot of support out there for you if you need help.
Talk with your partner about how he really feels. And dont forget there is a lot of support out there for you if you need help.
- khmum
- New Zealand
- Total posts: 627
I just wanted to say congratulations on your pregnancy, and this is just my personal opinion, but I believe every little baby is a miracle, whether they are 'normal' or not. I would love my babies just the same doesn't matter what.
Having said that, raising children is hard, and raising children with special needs even harder, but there is so much support available nowadays to help you cope, and if that is your decision to keep your baby, your partner and family should respect that and support you. Don't let them quilt you into something you might regret for the rest of your life.
All the best, and stay strong smile
Having said that, raising children is hard, and raising children with special needs even harder, but there is so much support available nowadays to help you cope, and if that is your decision to keep your baby, your partner and family should respect that and support you. Don't let them quilt you into something you might regret for the rest of your life.
All the best, and stay strong smile
- Former Member
- -
You really have to talk to your partner about how you are feeling.
But you will be able to cope with two. You will be able to be a great Mum to both babies.
But you will be able to cope with two. You will be able to be a great Mum to both babies.
- SunMoonStars
- NSW, Australia
- Total posts: 1284
firstly i want to say you are doing an amazing job with your son!
2ndly what an awful thing for your dh to say. shame on him.
my advice is that sometimes in life things happened and we don't understand ehy or we can't see the big picture. this baby was meant to be, you fell pregnant while on contraception, that to me says that this baby is a blessing not a burden.
yes, it will be tough and maybe even a struggle but i'm sure you will get through it. if your dh/family won't be supportive seek out online groups/forums or a special support group to help you cope.
good luck with whatever you decide.
2ndly what an awful thing for your dh to say. shame on him.
my advice is that sometimes in life things happened and we don't understand ehy or we can't see the big picture. this baby was meant to be, you fell pregnant while on contraception, that to me says that this baby is a blessing not a burden.
yes, it will be tough and maybe even a struggle but i'm sure you will get through it. if your dh/family won't be supportive seek out online groups/forums or a special support group to help you cope.
good luck with whatever you decide.
When you build a house, every brick counts. When you build a character, every thought counts.
- Kat + 3 Kittens
- VIC, Australia
- Total posts: 4911
Congratulations!
It might not seem like the appropriate thing to say... but it's nice when ppl are excited for you... even random faceless strangers smile
Just going from my own experience, it made me really angry how often people made abortion out to be a quick an easy solution to a problem (It wasn't for me!). It frustrated me that people saw my decision to have the baby as some sort of unnecessary drain on my life.
If you have made the decision then it's important that you are happy with it and focus on the positives. If you allow yourself to be excited then others will come around. If you're going to manage in the future, you'll need all the support you can get!
It might not seem like the appropriate thing to say... but it's nice when ppl are excited for you... even random faceless strangers smile
Just going from my own experience, it made me really angry how often people made abortion out to be a quick an easy solution to a problem (It wasn't for me!). It frustrated me that people saw my decision to have the baby as some sort of unnecessary drain on my life.
If you have made the decision then it's important that you are happy with it and focus on the positives. If you allow yourself to be excited then others will come around. If you're going to manage in the future, you'll need all the support you can get!
- my_little_blessings
- QLD, Australia
- Total posts: 8216
Congrat's on your pregnancy.
You need to sit down with your partner & talk about this. He maybe feeling pressure from his family.
Do not do something that you do not feel is right & if you listen to them you may feel like you maded a mistake.
If you know you can cope with another baby then you can cope.
You need to sit down with your partner & talk about this. He maybe feeling pressure from his family.
Do not do something that you do not feel is right & if you listen to them you may feel like you maded a mistake.
If you know you can cope with another baby then you can cope.
