The modern man

DH has his own car detailing business so iF DH has a job to do then I don't expect him to do anything that day. HE is making his share by earning money so I find that enough. I am a SAHM mum and DD Is a fairly cruisy child most days so I don't really expect any help lol though as another PP had said we never actually discuss who has to do what, it just all fell into place and if somehting needs to be done we just get up and do it blink though I do admit when DH isn't working and there are things to do and he sits around on his behind complaining that there is nothing to do is when I get very frustrated sleep OPEN YOUR EYES MAN!!!!!!!


Apart from that he is fairly helpful tongue

mel-O wrote:

Oh, the one thing I do expect which is a total deal breaker ~ coffee in bed every morning! I have had a cup of coffee brought to me every morning since the day we got married! smile

You might need to ask for decaf if you are breastfeeding. I hear that any caffine can affect bub and they wont sleep. (I say 'hear' because I am still waiting on my first baby to make an appearance!)

I am due in 2 months and DH and I have discussed the housework thing, as well as a number of other issues. He acknowledges that he does very little and has, over the last 6 months started doing more, while acknowledging he will need to increase that after bub arrives.

The only thing he doesnt contribute with is cooking, and that is partly my fault for being a control freak for years. tongue He doesnt think he can cook.

We have even talked about feeding schedules so that I might get a few solid hours of sleep some nights and he can feed bub with expressed milk in the evenings, then I can do the early morning feeds while he sleeps for work. Hopefully it is an arrangement that will work for us.

At the end of it all though we agree we need to work as a team, not point fingers or take blame. Step up when the other is at breaking point and pull out just that little bit more from ourselves. We are trying to be realistic about what to expect over the first couple of weeks/months but I still think that we are not going to be prepared at all for the reality.

Longer term, I would expect to share all tasks in the house and feel supported. Even if I do end up still doing more than he does, I am ok with it so long as he does what I need him to!

LilsDragon wrote:
You might need to ask for decaf if you are breastfeeding. I hear that any caffine can affect bub and they wont sleep. (I say 'hear' because I am still waiting on my first baby to make an appearance!)

It's been decaf coffee since I started TTC about 18 months ago now! I don't remember what normal coffee tastes like anymore smile

Oh the chores, the that's your job, the arguments! HAHAHA, I hate this topic and is one that often gets discussed in our house. My partner works a even time roster 4x 12hr days. On these days he does pretty much nothing except bath himself.
However when he is on his 4 days off, he does help out when I ask him. About the only thing he doesn't do is the cooking for dinner. I am expected to do the usual chores and anything to do with the children - breakfast, lunch, snacks, cleaning up after them, sweep, mop, vaccume, washing, etc. We usually share the lawn mowing (I enjoy this job) and washing and cleaning the car (hate this one).

If we both worked the same hours, then we would be sharing 50/50 all chores. I however am mostly a SAHM and but have worked part-time in the past and am just on-call for relief work these days.

hippomum wrote:
An ideal modern man looks like Clive Owen, cooks like Heston, makes love like James Bond, is patient and spends quality time with his wife and children, listens, keeps fit, is sensible with money, dresses well on a budget, voluntarily does his fair share of the household chores, is respectful of his parents and his parents-in-law and in all ways sets a good example for his children.

Yay for Hippomum!!! +1 grin

Arnt you talking about the perfect man there? In which case you're wrong... the perfect man is miguel Maestre.... Spanish accent and all! Omg speak Spanish to me miguel! grin grin wub

well in terms of looking after baby I think parents "Should" share it and I say it with " because I am the one who is supposed to do the 24/7 mother thing because I gave birth well that is how society still thinks but its the opposite right now. My husband has been a star literally, he stays up and does all of my little girls night feeds and changes, sometimes starting as early as 7pm and he even looks after her when I have to go out as I am not able to take her to my counselling or psychiatrist appointments. It also hurts me to move still with the SPD and I have post natal physiotherapy for it so it still hurts to mover and to assemble babies car seat and pram so hubby has to come along when we go out and then I am so mentally exhausted when we get home, I want to crawl into my bed and die some days. Also the post natal depression is bad, I feel detached sometimes and like a cruel horrible mother because I need to be away from my daughter some time during the day. I need to sleep and re cooperate and go to these counselling sessions but feel guilty for doing so however I would hot be able to survive without my man helping and doing 80% of the child raising right now xoox Yeah but unless there are genuine reasons why both parents cannot both help like illness, full time work or you are single then yeah fifty fifty is good smile