Why do some people bother to have kids?

I think if you're a working parent and your kids go to childcare/school you still get to do some things with them. I work 4 days a week but my DH looks after my DS on Sundays and I work afternoon shifts Mon-Wed so DS goes to childcare for about 4 hours, 3 day/week. It's not a perfect arrangement, but it's the best we can do given our current financial situation. So don't get me wrong - I'm not judging working parents at all.
But those people sound like they'd be better off sending their kids to a boarding school - which they'll probably do when the kids are old enough. They really need to reassess their priorities in life.[/quote]
Sorry I meant it made me feel alot better about myself, I had to send DD to care two weeks before I went back to work because I spent 2 weeks crying when dropping her off, and didn't feel in my line of work that was a good thing

OC1246 wrote:
kids are pretty cool. don't really like them much, but you might.

lol smile

OC1246 wrote:
i guess it kind of needs to be clinical though....

it would be a pretty crap ad if it went something like:

hey we want a nanny chick to come and look after our beloved kids while we have to go to work.
we want someone to start earlyish in the morning and probably until later at night, just depends.
probably some other times as well, but we'll see. need to do some nanny/butler type jobs. all negotiable. kids are pretty cool. don't really like them much, but you might.

doesn't have quite the same ring to it. lol

i would apply for that job - they sound like cool bosses!! LOL

I know of a family that have four. They have had the same live in nanny for the past ten years. She is part of the family, a third parent if you will. Seems to work for them??? I am in the same boat as you as my feelings. I want to be a SAHM and agreed with my then husband that that was how we wanted to raise our kids. Since we have separated, everyone's been all up in my face saying "you'll have to work now". It annoys me that because my situation has changed, my philosophy on parenting has to too.
I was also at a first birthday party on the weekend, and all the mums there were working mums, one started with "I'd go insane if I had to stay at home all day with them", everyone was agreeing with her then they all stopped and looked at me. AWKWARD!

SLC:) wrote:
I know of a family that have four. They have had the same live in nanny for the past ten years. She is part of the family, a third parent if you will. Seems to work for them??? I am in the same boat as you as my feelings. I want to be a SAHM and agreed with my then husband that that was how we wanted to raise our kids. Since we have separated, everyone's been all up in my face saying "you'll have to work now". It annoys me that because my situation has changed, my philosophy on parenting has to too.
I was also at a first birthday party on the weekend, and all the mums there were working mums, one started with "I'd go insane if I had to stay at home all day with them", everyone was agreeing with her then they all stopped and looked at me. AWKWARD!

That must be really hard. What a total lack of understanding and support. Massive hugs.
I understand your awkward situation on the weekend! Because we are homeschooling people just can not comprehend how i could possibly enjoy spending all day with them. They have trouble getting their kid to do homework and assume homeschooling is just a days worth of trying to get them to do homework. My kids are fun, interesting people and its a privilege to be able to be at home with them.
All the best!

it says monday to friday. so the parents spend their time with the kids on the weekend. i dont see the big deal and liken it to childcare WITHOUT the stress you go through when you get the kids home and feed, bathe, read and put them to bed all in a decent time. i definately do not read it as people who should not have bothered having children. just cos they dont do it the way you do doesnt make them bad parents. maybe it makes them honest parents.

^Mumto2Ts^ wrote:
it says monday to friday. so the parents spend their time with the kids on the weekend. i dont see the big deal and liken it to childcare WITHOUT the stress you go through when you get the kids home and feed, bathe, read and put them to bed all in a decent time. i definately do not read it as people who should not have bothered having children. just cos they dont do it the way you do doesnt make them bad parents. maybe it makes them honest parents.

I'm kind of with you on this.. I don't think the ad is enough to say they shouldn't bother having children.

SLC:) wrote:
I am in the same boat as you as my feelings. I want to be a SAHM and agreed with my then husband that that was how we wanted to raise our kids. Since we have separated, everyone's been all up in my face saying "you'll have to work now". It annoys me that because my situation has changed, my philosophy on parenting has to too.

I'm getting that now aswell!! It wasn't even a week in and I had my brother asking me about it.

^Mumto2Ts^ wrote:
it says monday to friday. so the parents spend their time with the kids on the weekend. i dont see the big deal and liken it to childcare WITHOUT the stress you go through when you get the kids home and feed, bathe, read and put them to bed all in a decent time. i definately do not read it as people who should not have bothered having children. just cos they dont do it the way you do doesnt make them bad parents. maybe it makes them honest parents.

I think I accidentally reported you lol sorry!

Anyways I agree with you 100%, having a nanny in your home is a million times less stressful than using daycare/before and after school care! At least the kids are receiving more attention than they would in a daycare/b + a school care...

To say these people shouldn't have kids isnt very nice sad

We have a nanny, she comes 3 days a week 7-4:30pm, the only thing on that list that she doesnt do is prepare dinner and bathe the kids smile

I don't think you can judge people for choosing to work, at least they're out there doing something now so that when they're kids are grown up/ all at school full time etc they will have something to fall back on and the mum won't have the hassle of trying to find a job with no experience and no work history for the past 6 years. I think it's fab that some people are SAHM but what works for one doesn't always work for another!

Each to their own I say grin

My husband leaves the house at 7a and gets home around 6pm - so it is quite normal hours. It is an ad for someone to look after the kids before and after school - perhaps the school the kids go to does not have a program for before and after school care. As for making meals it is a fairly normal part of been a nanny - and did it occur to anyone that having someone do that would give the parents time after work to spend with the kids???? I know if my husband had to make dinner lunches and get clothes ready for the next day he would not see the kids at all until the weekend.

Also most job agencies write ads this way to make it clear and people who are qualified and looking for this position would know what is expected of them without all the fluff a lot of ads have.

^Mumto2Ts^ wrote:
it says monday to friday. so the parents spend their time with the kids on the weekend. i dont see the big deal and liken it to childcare WITHOUT the stress you go through when you get the kids home and feed, bathe, read and put them to bed all in a decent time. i definately do not read it as people who should not have bothered having children. just cos they dont do it the way you do doesnt make them bad parents. maybe it makes them honest parents.

Having kids is stressful. Life is stressful. It sounds like the nanny is expected to bathe the kids, play with them and help them with their homework - that's something the parents should be doing. I'm sorry but if someone only wants to spend time with their kids on Saturdays on Sundays it sounds like their kids are just accessories.

Nai&Beau wrote:
^Mumto2Ts^ wrote:
it says monday to friday. so the parents spend their time with the kids on the weekend. i dont see the big deal and liken it to childcare WITHOUT the stress you go through when you get the kids home and feed, bathe, read and put them to bed all in a decent time. i definately do not read it as people who should not have bothered having children. just cos they dont do it the way you do doesnt make them bad parents. maybe it makes them honest parents.
I'm kind of with you on this.. I don't think the ad is enough to say they shouldn't bother having children.

I agree, working parents have just as much right to have kids as those who choose to stay at home, whether you stay home to spend 24/7 with your kids or because it's not financially viable to work. These kids aren't babies, they are kids and old enough to be independent with an adult in the house. I've been a working parent, it sux having a baby in daycare from 7am to 6pm but we all do what we have to do, especially if you have no-one who can help you out like grandparents. As for needing a break from the kids, well I'm not the perfect mum even though I have stayed at home for the last 4 years, I need time out and fully admit it, I'm not a helicopter parent and never have been, doesn't make me a bad mum that I don't live in my children's pockets.

Finding outside school hours can be a nightmare, and some daycares don't have before and after school care so you need to factor in trying to get to multiple locations before each centre closes. They generally don't encourage homework, they have to do that when they get home and is there anything wrong with a mother wanting to work? She may have spent the last 8 years at home being a SAHM and is getting back into the workforce. When should a mother return to work? When the youngest has graduated year 12? This couple have decided that a nanny is the best for their situation, they haven't listed their life story so hard to say that they don't care for their children and pretty harsh to say they should never have had them.