Pressure to have another baby...

I was wondering if anyone else had been in the same situation. DS has just turned two and I am getting a lot of pressure to give him a sibling but DH and I are undecided if we want to have another child after two years of trying with clomid and surgery to finally fall pregnant the first time but not many people know about our struggle.

Are there any single child families on here that are by choice and do you still think it was the best decision? Any feedback at all is appreciated!

I wouldn't worry about what other people say.... It's only a decision you and your DH can decide upon... Do not feel pressured into doing something that you don't want to do...

I have just had my 3rd and am already getting people asking me if im going to go again.. wink

My brother and his wife have decided that 1 child is enough for them. My SIL I don't think enjoyed pregnancy, had a hard birth with tearing and recovery and the way their lifestyle is - like to just pick up and go somewhere, studying, work commitments - 1 child fits in well for them. I really have to start biting my tongue as I always tease them that they should have some more, I realise now that they are serious and won't change their minds.

Me on the other hand was told by everyone not to have any more after 2. No-one wanted me to have a 3rd and most weren't happy or were surprised when we announced sad I was told I had enough kids.

It really depends on you and DH. To be honest if you have any concerns about having a 2nd child then maybe hold off for now. Raising a child is a marathon and you really need to be mentally, emotionally and physically prepared. Maybe wait a bit longer and see how you go. You never know you might one day down the track want a 2nd.

Ignore the public pressure, if you don't want to go through the medication again to fall pg then stick with one.

We have a friend who went through several attempts of ivf (after the third attempt) she had a baby boy. A couple of years or 3 later she conceived naturally. They had no intention of a second baby after what they went through to get the first. So I can comprehend your reluctance. You just never know, when your not ttc anything can happen. Focus on spoiling your toddler and if you need to explain to ppl tell them from ur difficult birth your not sure if you can have kids again and that might stop the insistent pressure.

We are in a similar situation. DS is turning two in August and for ages we have had people going on and on at us about having another.
We get people asking if we are wanting another and when I say "No. One is enough for us." we get told "You can't just have one. You have to give DS a brother or sister."
It really annoys me that they ask what we want and then totally disregard what we tell them.

Part of me wants another one, but I have a medical condition that makes it hard to look after the one I have sometimes. I also had a difficuilt birth that resulted in me needing a blood transfusion, so that is something that really puts me off too. I don't really feel like going into this with most people and so they keep harrassing me about having another one.

So I don't really have much of an answer for you about what it's like to have an only child as our children are the same age, but I do know what it's like to be told that you should have another when you don't know if it is the best decision for your family.

Hang in there, and if you come up with any good comeback lines to say when people ask you about it let me know smile

I have found this.....

you have one child..."when is your next????''
you have two children...." are you having one more???"
you have three children...." wow three, (no comment on forth)"

everyone has an opinion, but remember its only yours that matter.

side note, as someone it took a couple of years of clomid etc i understand how you feel, but maybe think about setting a time where you could try naturally to fall, then if doesnt happen, re assess whether you feel its worth it.

Yes!

After I had my DS2 we were asked so are you going to have another one - try for a girl!. And yes I would love a little girl but wouldn't trade my boys for anything! lol!

We know a few people that have just had their forth! My cousin's wife has just had a little boy after having 3 girls.

I don't think the comments really ever end like Carandy said.

Carandy wrote:
I have found this.....

you have one child..."when is your next????''
you have two children...." are you having one more???"
you have three children...." wow three, (no comment on forth)"

So true! It's so damn annoying, people need to mind their own business!

Thank you everyone for your replies. I feel a lot better knowing I'm not alone wink