desparately need ideas please

My eldest recently started school and while she has always been head strong she has gone over the top, she will not do what she is asked until I get mad at her, has started hitting her sisters and always sounds angry/grumpy etc. Her teacher said she is fine at school, has lots of friends and is very polite. DD said there is nobody a school being mean to her etc. The marble jar we were doing is not working as she ignores it ans if continue to use time out she would be there al day! What can I do now?

Thanks, maybe it is just that. I'll keep using time out and use more cuddles/reassurance. hopefully that will help

I find the same thing with both of mine, lovely little people at School but when they get home all hell breaks loose,
For us they are tired grumpy and had enough of being good so to speak, they are not like it all the time but when we have a bad week I feel like they are in time out all arvo and it's really heartbreaking for me as I have missed them all day and then I feel like all I do is be the grumpy mummy sad

we just reinforce the rules and use time out if needed make sure they get an early night and with DS1 as he's 7 if he comes home like that I send him to his room to have some wind down time without his brothers bugging him he usually reads a book or play quietly for an hour then comes out a lot happier smile

I have actually just done exactly that! DD1 is in her room reading and having sometime to herself to wind down. Hopefully that will help

all mine are like that, so lovely to everyone at school and so mean to each other (and me) but I am learning to go with the flow before I act (or react).I prefer this scenario rather being lovely at home and ratbags at school!

Adjusting to school has its issues, fortunately its just at home. He is probably tired from school and bored. Probably suggest some structured activities, reading, playdough, colouring in and some snacks. Then again which siblings do you know that never fight with each other....

HappyHead wrote:
She's probably still adjusting to school, she has to hold it together all day and be good... they always save their most "special" behaviour for mum and that's why you cop it and her sisters, she is most comfortable around you and by end of day at school has probably had enough of being told what to do and is tired and irritable so you get the bad behaviour.

The good news is she is being good at school... as she gets used to the routine it will get better at home, it can take a month or two for them to settle in. Being at school all day is tiring, make sure she has wind down time after school and is in bed by 7pm.

I'm not saying put up with her being rude or naughty but maybe acknowledging the big change in her life and that she's tired might help you deal with the behaviour, maybe a cuddle and reassurance and she might behave a little better at home.

I agree. smile Cuddles do wonders in our house...I try and remember that “my child is not giving me a hard time, my child his having a hard time.” Well sometimes they are..but sometimes it helps to try and think about it/see it from their point of view IYKWIM? Not always easy to do though, particularly if you have had a long/bad day.