A discussion for you

Gays and lesbians. Firstly, lets keep this CIVIL! I am not against gays and lesbians at all. I believe that if two people are in love they have a right to be together. I'm all for gay marriage and equal rights. This is not a thread to be nasty or derogatory so please keep any bad thoughts to yoursef.

There is something that I am really curious about but. I was watching a program last night with a lesbian lady, who dressed like a man, had a shaved head and tattoos all over her body. She walked like a man, talked like a man, etc etc. What gets me... is if a woman loves a woman, why does one need to act like a man?
It's the same with a lot of men, there are some that act like women. Why would a man need his man to act like a woman?

I'm confused about it.

Thoughts?

Sorry can't help you much there as I often wonder the same thing don't have a lot of insight to add but yes I do understand what you mean

chalys 'n' J wrote:
Gays and lesbians. Firstly, lets keep this CIVIL! I am not against gays and lesbians at all. I believe that if two people are in love they have a right to be together. I'm all for gay marriage and equal rights. This is not a thread to be nasty or derogatory so please keep any bad thoughts to yoursef.

There is something that I am really curious about but. I was watching a program last night with a lesbian lady, who dressed like a man, had a shaved head and tattoos all over her body. She walked like a man, talked like a man, etc etc. What gets me... is if a woman loves a woman, why does one need to act like a man?
It's the same with a lot of men, there are some that act like women. Why would a man need his man to act like a woman?

I'm confused about it.

Thoughts?

Lol they are STEREOTYPES. There are a lot of ppl u wouldn't even know we're gay or lesbian cos they don't fit a stereotype of being 'butch' for a lesbian or 'femme' for a gay! I certainly don't dress like a man. Tom boyish sometimes but I'm not butch haha. N tbh in mainstream labels I'm bisexual (I Hate labels though!)... Everyone has their own style to simply put it smile besides how do u know they aren't struggling with gender identity underneath? It's their business. I'm technically gay n genderqueer (DON'T attack me for that either) so what's the big deal? I look like most girls but I'm
Not girly or anything. I just hate fashion - well most of it lol smile

V_1990 wrote:
chalys 'n' J wrote:
Gays and lesbians. Firstly, lets keep this CIVIL! I am not against gays and lesbians at all. I believe that if two people are in love they have a right to be together. I'm all for gay marriage and equal rights. This is not a thread to be nasty or derogatory so please keep any bad thoughts to yoursef.

There is something that I am really curious about but. I was watching a program last night with a lesbian lady, who dressed like a man, had a shaved head and tattoos all over her body. She walked like a man, talked like a man, etc etc. What gets me... is if a woman loves a woman, why does one need to act like a man?
It's the same with a lot of men, there are some that act like women. Why would a man need his man to act like a woman?

I'm confused about it.

Thoughts?

Lol they are STEREOTYPES. There are a lot of ppl u wouldn't even know we're gay or lesbian cos they don't fit a stereotype of being 'butch' for a lesbian or 'femme' for a gay! I certainly don't dress like a man. Tom boyish sometimes but I'm not butch haha. N tbh in mainstream labels I'm bisexual (I Hate labels though!)... Everyone has their own style to simply put it smile besides how do u know they aren't struggling with gender identity underneath? It's their business. I'm technically gay n genderqueer (DON'T attack me for that either) so what's the big deal? I look like most girls but I'm
Not girly or anything. I just hate fashion - well most of it lol smile

You raise some valid points too v-1990 I was only commenting on what chalys has said as I have noticed that as well and has made me wonder.In saying that I do no plenty of gay people who do not fit into any stereotype and you wouldn't be able to pick them by looking at them.

I have thought about this before too haha.

The conclusion I have come to is because while they may have characteristics shared by the opposite sex they are still fundamentally masculine or feminine. A lot of gay and lesbians may not choose their partners based on their outward apprearance (be it masculine or feminine) but on their fundamental feminine or masculine characteristics.
For eg (generalising here) the nurturing nature that women have. Even though a women may dress or style herself as a man she will still have this underlying feminine nature which is what her lesbian partner is attracted to.

I don't actually know though haha. Although I did know a lesbian who used to go out with guys sometimes, but only if they looked girly laugh laugh so its most likely something you would look at on a case by case basis.

What is genderqueer? I've never heard of that! lol

I have no idea re your original question and am too tired to ponder it atm, damn olympics!

you fall in love with a person - not their gender smile

I have also asked myself that many times chalys blink

I don't really go into the gay or lesbian thing often. Fair enough if you like the same sex. It's no one elses business and I don't see the big deal or harm with it.

I do admit I have flirted with women in the past as well as men! Don't see the harm lol and I see it all in good fun smile

Also I would like to know what gender queer is as well!

chalys 'n' J wrote:
Gays and lesbians. Firstly, lets keep this CIVIL! I am not against gays and lesbians at all. I believe that if two people are in love they have a right to be together. I'm all for gay marriage and equal rights. This is not a thread to be nasty or derogatory so please keep any bad thoughts to yoursef.

There is something that I am really curious about but. I was watching a program last night with a lesbian lady, who dressed like a man, had a shaved head and tattoos all over her body. She walked like a man, talked like a man, etc etc. What gets me... is if a woman loves a woman, why does one need to act like a man?
It's the same with a lot of men, there are some that act like women. Why would a man need his man to act like a woman?

I'm confused about it.

Thoughts?

It isn't about acting - its about being who you want to be.

It is a massive assumption to assume they "need" to act like any one gender at all, gay or straight. Like Cruxy said, you love someone for who they are - gender may be a part of that like Dani said, but to be assuming that a gender has a given list of characteristics, including appearance - well, its a bit limiting isn't it?

Alot of people are a gender stuck in the other gender's body - I think that's called transgender and it is a recognised "condition".

I too have always wondered this!! My brother is gay and doesn't fit any of the typical stereotypes, yet he seems to be attracted to males that are quite feminine... Perhaps I'll ask him lol

I too have always wondered this!! My brother is gay and doesn't fit any of the typical stereotypes, yet he seems to be attracted to males that are quite feminine... Perhaps I'll ask him lol