Not sure what to say Pregnant after still birth

[che74z]

Hi
I'm not sure what to say to my friend who is pregnant again after stillbirth.
My friend currently has 6 children ranging in age from 18 to 2 years old and has had 3 terminations. Last year she found out she was pregnant again but lost the baby at 28 weeks. She has health issue such a dvt, along with being a heavy smoker and many financial issues. He husband does not help with the kids.
She has now discovered she is pregnant again she has mentioned a few times that she wanted to get her tubes done but could not afford this. Anyway she beleives she may only be a few weeks pregnant and unsure is she is having a miscarrage. She is not sure what to do. I was not sure if I gave her the right advice and do not want to upset her.

I adviced her first to see her doctor and discuss her risk of trying to carry this baby if that is what she wants. I fear for her physically and the mentally after lossing the last child. I dont think it is my right to advice her to keep it or terminate the pregnancy. Also to discuss with her husband as it is important to have his support either way.
Anyway would love you opinions as not sure if I have told her the right thing. I care about her and worried
Thank you
Cheers

[zoebrown]

Personaly it really dosnt sound like a good enviroment to bring another child into if shes haven money problems, hubbys not helping and already has 6 kids why would she wish to have another?
This is just my personal opinion from what you had said in your post i was born into a family that was so not right to bring a child up in and i always belive you need to be in the right situation and ready to have a child and give it everything it needs.
I would have chat with her and talk about the sereousns of bring another little bub into the world.
I hope i may have helpd i know its a very touchy subject tho good luck.

[*missy*me*]

This sounds like a hard one. I have to agree that its probably not the best environment to be bringing in another child, but you are right in saying its not your place to recommend termination, it really has to be her decision. I would just be there and try to support her in any way possible. I think she needs to be on some better contracption if she didnt want any more kids.

[che74z]

Thanks, I sort of gave her my opinion. She has decided to keep the baby, so the only thing I can do is support her and hope she looks after herself and everything works out for her.