Toddler toilet training.
I have a toddler I adore. He drives me crazy sometimes, but most of the time we get along pretty well together.
But Mr. Small point blank refuses to be toilet trained.
Thankfully, he is child number 3, so I have learned not to stress about it. Of equal importance I have learned not to stress him out about it either. He knows exactly what to do. But he refuses to put on underpants, or do anything of interest on the toilet.
I tried introducing the potty which he took as a huge personal insult. I think having seen his older siblings use the toilet, anything else would be considered beneath him.
He taunts me too by saying: “Mum! Toilet time!” So I’ll gather up his favourite books, scoop him up under the other arm and literally RUN to seat him on his throne.
I’ll read through his books, once, usually twice and hopefully await his, ahem, deposits.
Nothing.
Nada.
Then he’ll say smilingly, “I don’t need to go anymore mummy.”
I’ll smile weakly and lift him off. We go through the routine of washing and drying his hands (and mine)
I’ve tried leaving him there on his own, so as to respect his privacy but somewhere along the line I think this became a special sort of mother son bonding time, so escape is impossible.
Apparently food dye in the toilet bowl is a good way to get their attention and offering rewards. This is a great idea but problem is that if I do those things I suspect his canny older siblings will demand the same treatment and I’m not wild about that either!
This weekend I am going to take him shopping to choose his own undies. I am hoping that this will make him feel some sense of involvement in the process. I have spent the past week pointing out what his siblings wear instead of a nappy, but he simply goes and gets his nappy out of the box and points to it meaningfully.
I’ll keep you posted.
19 Member comments Post a reply
I'm beginning to think toilet training my toddler is more about training me!
Read the full blog post: Toddler toilet training.
Posted 07 September 2010 - 08:18 PM
I have a very similar story and am finding it so frustrating. The difference is my toddler is 3 and is my first born. His brother 21 months has at times shown more interest in the toilet or potty than him. He just doesn't care if his nappy is wet or dirty and when I tried him in undies it was the same. He didn't even tell me he had done something. I bought pull ups yesterday and tried them today and got a small success. he did a pee on the potty. I kept telling him his pull ups were potty pants only and he needed to do his business on the potty not in his pants... However he did not poo all day which is rather unusual for him! We shall see what tomorrow will bring.
thank you for sharing your story. I feel like I have done something wrong in having a 3 year old who is not even vaguely potty trained!
I have a third on the way, due in 8 weeks and would really have loved to only be changing 2 pairs of nappies not 3 by then!!!
Posted 11 September 2010 - 05:49 AM
I too have a similar situation and am finding it difficult to find a solution. My toddler is 3 and my second born. His brother is 20 months and sits on the potty and talks about (but no results yet). My 3 year old has just gone into pull ups but it doesn't seem to make any difference and he always tells me he wants to put his nappy on instead of pull ups or undies. I now also have a 2 month old and 3 boys in napppies. I am out of ideas so if you have any luck I would love to hear about it.
Posted 12 September 2010 - 12:22 AM
I have a 2 year and 3 month old girl and she is using the toilet for wees but is saving her poos for her huggies nappy pants at night time. We have tried all sokrts of thing as well, today i have made our toilet into the "party room" i have ballons hanging from the wall bright paper and pictures and a box of flash cards, books, bubbles and a few other things. I also put a picture of her and a poo in her potty, she loves that picture. Im hopimg for some luck this week, as i am a bit tired of changing a Big girls poo! And washing the undies!!
Posted 12 September 2010 - 05:41 AM
dont all stress my first daughter was 4 when she finally went in the toilet and my son was the same now we have a 2 and half year old so i guess she will be the same i find it best to let them go they know when they are ready remember when they are 21 they will be going on the toilet dont worry.it will happen.
Posted 14 September 2010 - 09:13 PM
My sister gave me a great tip. When she was toilet training her sons, they bought a favourite/special book that was only to be read whilst sitting on the toilet. So her boys were happpy to sit and read as they did the deeds.
A potty worked for me for my first, we eased her onto the toilet. She was ready at 15 months to be toilet trained. One day she was in the garden naked. She found an empty pot plant and had a pooh. I was overwhelmed, and should have started to train her then.
With my second daughter, I let her tell me when she was ready. At 18 mths she refused to wear a night nappy, I took a deep breathe, and agreed. She woke up dry and has never wet the bed. She has been in undies from about 20mths. She does have the rare accident, when she is doing something exciting, and doesnt want to miss out.
I guess the key thing is to ask them often if they need to wee or poo. You can be pretty sure they will need to do something a half hour after eating or drinking.
Time gets away from me, so I try to set my mobile alarm, to remind me.
RELAX. all kids are different. Try as hard as you can to NOT compare your child to anyone elses.
All the best, Lindie
Posted 14 September 2010 - 09:36 PM
A REWARD tree might work.
Kids LOVE stickers. Have yr trainee choose some stickers. ($2 shops have books for about $2).
Get some A3 paper, Draw a tree with branches with twigs bout no leaves and stick it to the toilet door. When he/she does wee they can add 1 sticker "leaf" to the trees branches, when they do poo, 2 sticker "leaves".
Explain that when the tree is full they can CHOOSE a new ball/book/???.
They will be so PROUD of themselves.
Then start a new tree.
xx Lindie
Posted 14 September 2010 - 09:52 PM
hi, i'm sort of new on here but i wanted to ask for some advice. I'm 23, i have a son who is almost four aswell as another one expected to arrive in December. i'm on my own and having an impossible time to get my son even slightly interested in using to toilet. Ive tried everything, bribes, games, rewards, encouragment, pretending i have man bits and showing him what to do, even reverse psychology. and i'm exhaused. i'm getting pressure from friends and family as to why hes not a "big boy" now and i'm starting to fret that i'm just going to lose it trying to train him when i hae new born to deal with too. please help me!!
Posted 15 September 2010 - 08:54 PM
with my 2 year old.. i just took him to the toilet with me even if it was just to sit on my lap and talked to him about what i was doing and then sit him on there after i was finished even with his nappy on and just slowly put him on without a nappy.
at night when i but a nappy on he would do his poo..
he would ask for a tim tam i would say if u do a poo on the toilet u can have one.. didnt take to long and he was doing poos on the toilet.. and i think day care helps
Posted 16 September 2010 - 07:40 AM
My 2 1/2 year old and although we have not officially started TT him, he knows what the toilet is for, does wees and poos on it occasionally, has asked mid nappy change to go on the toilet to do a wee, so I think he is well and truly ready to go, but its me that needs to be ready for the mess and stress!!! I have set a date to start, but the date isnt really for him, its for me smile
Posted 16 September 2010 - 07:46 AM
how do i toilet train my step son that only comes every 2nd weekend ? he knows what to do etc but when he goes home straight into nappies his 3yrs old his mum dont help at all we have spoken to her she laughs but thnks that headbutting biting etc are funny we trying to do our best manners sharing etc my son was toilet trained 18months but we only have my step son every 2nd weekend what do we do she gets mad if his left in undies or pullups cz now she has to go home to change him to a nappy help me pls???
Posted 20 September 2010 - 08:47 PM
how do i toilet train my step son that only comes every 2nd weekend ? he knows what to do etc but when he goes home straight into nappies his 3yrs old his mum dont help at all we have spoken to her she laughs but thnks that headbutting biting etc are funny we trying to do our best manners sharing etc my son was toilet trained 18months but we only have my step son every 2nd weekend what do we do she gets mad if his left in undies or pullups cz now she has to go home to change him to a nappy help me pls???
Posted 20 September 2010 - 08:47 PM
My son is 3 1/2 and has only just become interested in toilet training, but I've bribed him with something HE really wants. A wooden train set which I brought off Trade Me. For a wee he gets a piece of wooden track and for a poo he gets a train. We are going great guns especially for number twos! Only he won't wear undies or even a pull up nappy! He even asks at Kindy to use the toilet!
Posted 24 September 2010 - 03:01 AM
My son is 3 1/2 and has only just become interested in toilet training, but I've bribed him with something HE really wants. A wooden train set which I brought off Trade Me. For a wee he gets a piece of wooden track and for a poo he gets a train. We are going great guns especially for number twos! Only he won't wear undies or even a pull up nappy! He even asks at Kindy to use the toilet!
Posted 24 September 2010 - 03:02 AM
Great tips there but if you have a tip for training twins I would love to hear it!! I have two twin girls, one will go potty until you make a fuss with praise. This will make her shy away from using the toilet and refuse altogether. The other twin is just not interested at all and this encourages twin one not to use the toilet. They are almost 3 and though I am not stressed about it as they are children 3 & 4 but am tired of the nappy changing!!
Posted 21 January 2011 - 03:04 AM
well i am having the same trouble with my 32 month old daughter. she understands what she is meant to do but flatly refuses to do anything on the toilet and freaks out about taking her nappy pants off in the morning to put on her training pants. The thing is she seems to go at day care but at home she just doesnt want to. any ideas
Posted 27 February 2011 - 04:21 AM
Hi I need some tips too as I'm trying to potty train my 2 year old son. He knows when he has a poo as he will stop what he's doing and roll onto his back for a nappy change, and when i say "poo?" he nods and says "poo!" and holds onto his nappy.
He did one poo in the potty last week and a wee on the floor soon after, but other than that I'm having no luck! how often should I be putting him on the potty and do you have any tips for encouraging him to stay there??
Jess
Posted 28 February 2011 - 01:24 AM
We bought our little one a potty a while ago and it's been sitting strategically in the bathroom ever since but is yet to earn its keep. We also have one of those toilet cover thingys but its all a bit tall and intimidating for her so that didn't really work either.
We continue to talk to her about the toilet, explain what everything is for and we have an open door bathroom policy so she can see what goes on in there.
We've also been trying to encourage her with times of no nappy during the day. By time of no nappy I mean about 10 mins after I change a soiled nappy or immediately before or after a bath. I don't really want to leave it any longer than that as her confidence is just starting to grow but more importantly because we have a lot of carpet. She even went shopping with mum to buy special "grown up undies" that she can wear when she doesn't have a nappy on.
Well yesterday while I was using the big potty she walked into the bathroom, pointed at her little potty and said,
"Poo".
"Yes, that's where you do a poo" I replied."Nice work. Do you want to do a poo?"
"Nononononononoooo....!" she yells running off, and that was that.
Not much you might say but at least I now know that she knows what it is, and what it is for, and that whether or not she needs to use it is nobodys' business but hers. A good start.There is no point rushing these things.
It looks as though our training has begun...
For more info on toilet training and other toddler issues visit www.advicefromsuperdad.blogspot.com
Posted 05 October 2011 - 09:29 PM
My son just started toilet training at 20 months. What seems to have started his interest is that he would generally always wee at the end of a bath so I started telling him what it was and he got it really quickly. I got a potty and one day I asked him if he wanted to do a 'wee-wee' and took him to the potty. He was a little hesitant at first but then I gave him something he liked while he sat on it with nappy on to get used to it. Then over the course of a day, he used it and we celebrated it - calling both Nanna's. He was so proud. I then made up a sticker reward chart and he has now - within a week - progressed to normal toilet (also looooves flushing the toilet)for wees and we have had a few dry sleeps. Once he saw dad use the big toilet he couldn't wait! We use Nappy Training Pants for awake time and nappies for sleeps atm. He now knows when he needs to go and tells us. Still a few accidents but we are not rushing it. Just going with the flow - so to speak smile Hope this may helps others looking for the right time to start.
Posted 30 March 2012 - 07:32 AM
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