Answer: She won’t change her behaviour and reliance on the breast to settle unless you change first. If you want her to improve her settling then you’ll need to think about your own habits first. I know this is hard and takes energy to change, but honestly she is unlikely to be the one to initiate any change. Could you see about getting a referral to an early parenting centre where you live? A referral from your GP or child health nurse is necessary but if you don’t have any other support then changing what you’re doing will be hard on your own.
Your daughter would be safer sleeping in her own cot rather than co-sleeping with you. You need to place her into her cot when she’s still awake and stop lying down with her. Try patting her through the cot rails, sitting on a chair beside her cot, playing some soft music and just being calm but patient with her. You could also try patting the cot mattress or alternately, sitting on a chair positioned in the doorway or her room and quietly reading, minimising any eye contact and just telling her to “lie down, it’s sleep time”. Of course she’s going to cry and protest and she will try what’s worked in the past, eg, crying and getting upset because she’s aware that this gets her what she wants. But in order for her to change, you need to change first and stick with this.
Check out the Huggies site for more comprehensive settling information.
Even though your partner is working long hours, try to organize time when he’s having days off to support you.
Cheers
Jane