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She will not sleep in the cot at night but has no problem napping during the day

i have a 18mth old, she will not sleep in the cott at night but has no problem napping during the day in cott so at night i take her matress out and she will sleep on that only if im by her side, she is waking up 2/3 times during the night my partner is un able to settle her back to sleep so i am exhausted doing this all myself. If i put her in her cott at night and just let her cry she will be sick upto 3 times, i just dont know what to do. please help! from Yvonne

Maree...
Answer: Hi Yvonne, These are her sleep associations and she is winning the battle over you. When you lay with her and then leave she wakes on her light sleep (as we all do) and looks for her same comfort to return to sleep. The only way you can change this is to to make changes and they come with many tears and, not unusual, the vomiting as you have experienced. This is a power play to get your attention and it works... Just keep in mind what you are doing now is not easy either. You would need to be persistent with settling her into the cot awake even if it means vomiting and then cleaning her up in the cot with no eye contact and get on with the settling again. As she is still in a cot you could still do the 6 to 12 months techniques, they offer a clear and repetitive message that it`s time to sleep, but she must fall asleep on her own so she can learn to self settle when she wakes later in the night. It is a hard program and not for everyone the choice ultimately is up to you. Cheers, Maree
Answered: 01 Mar 2008