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  5. made to feel like I'm a bad mum!!!!

made to feel like I'm a bad mum!!!! Lock Rss

You know when we have children for the first time, we really have no idea what to do, since they are yet to come with instructions. When it comes to feeding, we're either told we can routine feed or demand feed. Since I figured that the only one who knew when my bub was hungry, was bub herself, I decided to go with the demand feeding. Now I've been breasfeeding her for 4 months now and lately we've had a couple of problems (not feeding related), so I took her to see our local CHN. While there I was told that my bub had lost weight, I was not feeding her enough and that I even have to wake her up during the night (not just a dream feed) to feed her. Hearing this just made me feel like I was a bad mum, like I had been starving my baby. It's not like she was crying and I wasn't feeding her. How was I to know that she was hungry if she's not crying??? I just feel like crap now....And the fact that I have to wake her during the night!! Doesn't every mother dream of having a full night's sleep?? Well, I've got it and I'm not allowed to have it!!!! I just feel horrible....We spend all our time trying to figure out what's going on with our bubs, we finally do (as much as we can) and then we're told it's not right....

Sam and Hayley and bub

oh u poor thing. do u think that instead of waking her to feed u could just feed a little more often during the day? will that be "THE RIGHT THING TO DO?" LOL!!

its so depressing being made to feel like ur doing it all wrong. i hope u feel better

chin up smile should u maybe get a second opinion? by doc or something? see if they will let u sleep lol?

good luck hope u feel better soon xoxox

***haydens mum***

gosh i really dont agree with what ur nurse has said

if your bubs seems happy why wake her during the nite for a feed,it will only get her into a routine of waking

remeber all baby drop and gain,and she will have a big growth spurt before you know it



you are doing a wonderful job!!!

Lillie....1 year old!!!

Hi hayley's_mum

Please don't feel bad, I'm positive that you're doing the very best you possibly can for bubby. Who's not to say she's just going through a growth spurt at the moment and she'll make up for it in the next couple of weeks???

I got the 3rd degree from my CHN this week for not continuing to breastfeed, aarrrrgh! I was really dissappointed because I really look forward to our trips to have DD weighed, measured etc and it just left me feeling really flat.

I'm with the other mums for getting a second opinion about the night feeding. If I could get DD to sleep through no one would be able to convince me to wake her!!!

All the best smile

Rachel, WA, Isabella 15/10/05

Gosh some health professionals (so called) say some dumb things. If your baby was hungry at night she would wake. If she isn;t then she is content and settled. My motto is: Don't wake the sleeping baby!!!! Try giving her extra feeds in the day if you think you need to she will refuse if she doesn;t want it, otherwise keep doing what you are doing, it sounds just like what I did.

I agree that if you are worried get a second opinion - but it sounds like you are a great mum!!

Leanne, NZ, Ella age 2 & Sam age 6months

Hi Hayley's mum,

I agree with the other mums - in general, waking a sleeping baby is just plain lunacy! Try offering more in the daytime, but if your bub is happy and energetic with lots of wet nappies - stuff the growth charts, they're all bollocks anyway!

My Plunket nurse doesn't have kids of her own, and all her advice is very textbook, it's rather annoying but I guess as we get more experienced at this mummy business, we learn to filter out the good advice from the bad.

If you're worried maybe try and see a different nurse, but it sounds to me like you're doing everything right. Good luck! smile

This new forum is strange ...

i remember my CHN nurse told me the same thing ! i have to feed my bub every 3 hours !!!!! this happened the first week i came home from hospital ! i was soo exhausted, both mentally, phsically and emotionally ! plus i had post traumatic stress syndrome from having a emergency caesar and then breakin up with the father !!
anyway, my point is....i was so exhausted that i went to another CHN to get another opinion ! well guess bub had put on plenty of weight, was right on track and this nurse didn't know whyy the other one had told me that ! sure enough i switched nurses.
this may not be the case for u, but how about u pik up an extra feed or two during the day instead of the night ? or maybe go onto feeding everythng 3-4 hours ? then u can establish a routine, get the CHN off ur back and know ur bub is eating enough ?
just a suggestion. ur the mummy, and u know what is right, don't feel bad and like u said bubs don't come with instruction manuals !!
keep ya chin up.


Danni, WA,

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