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Becoming A Single Mum Rss

I have just become a single mum of a 14 months old boy,and am finding it very hard to cope with being alone.Do any other single mums out there have any tips that can help me get through these difficult first few months? I feel as though I have no-one that can empathise with me,as they are all busy with their husbands,or boyfriends,or children,and I feel awful burdening them with my feelings and problems. I have never felt so alone in my life. Please help!

Thanks

Marti, NSW, Baby Boy born on 17th July 2003

I was a single mum for nine years with my eldest son so I know how hard it can be. I was lucky that I had a good support system with family and friends to lean on. It is hard enough bringing up a 14 month old without having to deal with the break up of a relationship. Is your sons dad there to help out with the parenting (having him on the weekends etc) or are you left to do it all? Do you belong to a play group where there are other mums?
For your sons sake you need to concentrate on his wellbeing and put all your energy into his happiness. He has to adjust to dad not being there also, and he is to young to understand why.
Don't feel like you are a burden to other people. If they are true friends, they will be there for you.

Karyn, NZ, Jack 13/02/04

Hi Marti


I am so sorry to hear your news ... i am sure you r hurting right now but if it is any consolation some of my close friends were single mums for the first few years of their bubs lives and they are great mums and their kids are great kids. The good news is that they both have new partners who love and treat their kids as their own now ...

You seem like a really strong person to me from talking to you at other posts so I am sure you can be a great single mum. Just try and really concentrate on your darling little boy now, who I know is such a joy to you. One thing I tell myself is that no matter what happens I know Ryan will always love me and vice versa ... try and tell yourself that when you feel all alone because you most definately are not. As for your friends I am sure they want to help you so don't feel bad about leaning on them ...

Please keep in touch and keep that chin up ... it might seem daunting now but I am sure things will get better ... have a cry when you need to but just try and concentrate on the positives and the rest will fall into place

Jo

Ryan (2) & Jayden (18mths)

Hi Marti

I know exactly what you are going through, as I've just separated from my partner 3 weeks ago.

We have a daughter who is 6 1/2 months old.

I can totally understand what you say about coping with being alone. When Emma is awake I am fine, but once she goes for a sleep and I am on my own I just dont know what to do with myself.

If you want to chat my email is treylace@senet.com.au.

Keep your chin up and try to stay happy for your little one, they are the most precious things we have at the moment, and we will never be alone because we will always have their love.

Tracy, SA, DD 15/3/04 & TTC #2

I am exactly the same -I am fine when Mekhi is awake,but as soon as he is in bed,I just cry and cry. I am so happy that my boy is here with me,but I ma just so stressed and lonely. It doesn't make it any better that when I speak to my husbnad - it always ends up in a fight,and he just seems so cold towards,and it breaks my heart. I know it is supposed to get easier with each day,but I just wish it would hurry up!

Marti, NSW, Baby Boy born on 17th July 2003

Marti, I am so sorry to hear your news.
I can only imagine how lonely you must feel, but none of these replys from people are hollow ones, people do genuinely care, even if you feel so alone, you're not.
They also always say that it's not time that heals a broken heart, it's what you do in that time that heals.
I would feel exactly the same as you in not wanting to burden people, but in my experience, friends will make time, and they really do care and want to see you happy. Down the track I'm sure you could be there for them just the same. That's what friends do.
Perhaps it's worth calling your Community Centre or child health clinic and see if they know of any single parent groups. I know my girlfriend attends one. They may be able to put in you in touch with a group or even know of someone you can talk to.
Sorry, I don't feel like I've been much help compared to what you must be feeling.
There are also a lot of posts on here in various sections of women who are single parents if you have a search.
Take care and chin up, I hope things get just a little easier.
Laura

Laura DS July 03, DD Oct 05, DD Nov 08

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