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what's your bed time rituals? Lock Rss

OK this is a long one and is a last ditch effort to get my son 11 months to go to sleep at night by himself and with a minimum of fuss.

you may have seen posts from me before...I had day time hell till he was 7 months and then one day it all was fine. about the time that went fine, he stopped wanting to go to sleep by himself at night which was NEVER a problem.

so now I have a baby that self settles to sleep without a grizzle and sleeps 1-1.5 hrs twice a day and the same child who freaks out at night time bedtime.

I finally said enough is enough 3 weeks ago. it was taking 1.5hrs some nights to get him to sleep so I decided to try tizzie halls approach of "not going in there" and letting him shout himself to sleep. after 3 weeks of absolute consistency and changing my bed time routine (to not have a breast feed immediately before bed cos he was falling asleep on the boob alot} I have to say that there has been little or no improvement.

I don't want anyone to tell me whether they think the approach was right or wrong ( I feel like enough of a failure), the reason I've posted is that I think that maybe my bedtime routine or ritual is flawed and so I'd like to hear from other mums who's babies are around the same age and who go down without a fuss.

here is his day at the moment:

usually wakes 6.45/7am
1 boob 7am - usually rejects other boob (probably cos he always has one around 5am)
8am - breakfast
9.45ish - 11ish - sleep
11.30/12 lunch
12.30/1pm Full BF
1.45/2pm - 3pm ish sleep
3.30 snack
5pm - dinner
5.30-6.00 - mum and dad play
6pm bath (gets grizzly about now, rubs eyes...tired signs)
6.20pm Full BF - he's often very distracted and wriggles constantly
6.30 - read a few stories, try to contain him...can be quite hyper
6.45/7pm - bed awake ( protests and cries the minute I leave the room - on occasion has vomited from distress) over the last 3 weeks it has taken as much as 50 mins of crying to sleep and as little as 15 mins but it changes every day and sometimes I've had to go in and hug him as he has been hysterical)

He usually wakes up crying about 30-45mins after he eventually goes to sleep. mostly self settles within 5-10 mins and then sleeps through but always wakes around 4.30/5am for 1 boob and then sleeps again till 6.45/7am

NOTE: I have tried later bed times and earlier bed times and non had any effect except the earlier bed time worked better once and the later one worked better once! I have sat on the floor next to the cot and he doesn't cry but takes 30 mins to lie down and sleep.

I have 3 questions:

1) I want to know what you do at what times so i can see if I'm missing something basic.
2) if there is usually 3 hrs between sleep times in his day then should there be the same amount of time before the bed one too? I wonder if he's over tired and that is why he won't settle.
3) does it seem strange that day settling is fine and the night is a circus?

If you fancy a laugh, visit my blog which is basically a collection of observations and rantings about motherhood, people and the mundane. See www.callmepicky.blogspot.com.au

it must be a Ben thing!! My son is usualy good during the day and fussy at night too. We have fairly similar routines although ds goes to bed a bit later-between 7.30-8.30 (i know it is late but i can't seem to get him to sleep earlier). I too try to keep the 3 hour gap between sleeps but at night it can go to 4-5!. I have noticed that ds is always sooo excited to see dh in the evenings and am wondering if that contributes to his night antics? Also, dh has greater success at settling ds in the evenings??? i tried the controlled comforting and "camping out"methods but, nothing seems to be working either. now i just give ds lots of cuddles and sing quietly to him till he fals asleep:)If only our little ones could talk to tell us what was going on! i'm sorry i can't help but i just wanted to let you know you are not alone...i hope someone has some good suggestions smile good luck

mama to Ben and Jack

Hi there
What a frustrating year. My DSsleeps well on and off. Going to sleep is the heardest. I tried the lay donw approach with Tizzie Hall and felt that he just couldn't cope, think we were both confused about the 15 times. A friend of mine referred me to a website that had what I think was a really good way of getting your bubs to self settle better
go to www.karitane.com.au, then go to parenting tips and select parenting information brochures, have a read of the sleep and settle brochure. I found it quite useful and yet another strategy that might help
By the looks of what you're doing to me it looks like you are doing a great job, don't think of yourself as a failure, if you were you wouldn't be here asking for help, just another hurdle to jump over and YOU WILL GET THERE
My DS routine
Awake 6-7am B/F &/or bottle (running low on milk)
Breaky 7.45
Sleep 9am ish
Lunch 11.30
Bottle 1.30
Sleep 1.45ish
Awake 3pm ish (I ofer a small snack not too much as I find he won't eat tea) my hurdle atm is food
5pm tea
5.30Bath
6.45 Bottle
7pm Bed

Have you ever tried massaging him at 6.30pm - maybe he's hyper with mummy & daddy being around

not sure if anything has helped but I hope so
Good luck, hope you get it sorted soon
Narelle

Hi, this is Kaden's routine (for the moment)

Wakes @ 6-7am and has a BF
Breakfast @ 8.30
BF @ 9.30
Sleep @ 10.00 - 11.30ish
Lunch @ midday
BF @ 1.30
Sleep @ 2 - 3.30ish - offer water and snack when wakes
Dinner @ 5
Shower or bath @ 6
Play and wind-down 7pm
Bed at 7.30pm

Everynight we do the following in the same order before bed: Read a story, change his nappy and put on his PJ's, close the curtains, turn off the main light and turn on the lamp, and turn on his mobile. (I remember seeing on a program once not to shut the curtains for the day sleeps, so that bubs can distinguish the difference between day naps and the night sleep)

Hope this is the sort of info you were after, keep us posted on how bubs is doing!

Sorry, I cut and pasted your email to keep it similar and somehow included that he had a B**** breakfast LOL!

if you change his nappy and put on pjs just before bed...what do you put on him after bath time?

what's your play and windown? just a story?

normally I give him his bath at 6pm and put him in his pjs and nappy. he starts to complain about now cos he knows his boobie is coming. I used to do it in a dark room but he kept falling asleep on the boon and then would wake up an hour later when he realised he was in bed. so now I BF him in the family room and then read some stories there too but he seems to think it means play time now cos the feed in the bedroom was the hint to sleep. tonight I'm gonna try the story in the bedroom to see if that gives him the hint.

poor guy, he probably doesn't know what to do cos I've been changing what I do recently in an effort to curb the crying

If you fancy a laugh, visit my blog which is basically a collection of observations and rantings about motherhood, people and the mundane. See www.callmepicky.blogspot.com.au

Hi all...looks like the routines are similar so I seem to be OK there...

Just thought I'd let you know that I spoke to a sleep consultant today and she said if he's waking at 3pm/330 then he should be going to bed 6.15/6.30. also she said that if I dread night times as I do then the baby would be picking up that all was not well and be very unsettled. interesting cos I start to freak out about bed time around 4pm!!! she said do what ever I can to fake it and he may start feeling more secure around bed.

well...here goes

If you fancy a laugh, visit my blog which is basically a collection of observations and rantings about motherhood, people and the mundane. See www.callmepicky.blogspot.com.au

thanks for that tip BN's mum smile

mama to Ben and Jack

Just learned this myself. Your little boy sounds massively overtired, and whould be nearly hysterical after over 5 hours of being awake. Put him down for an afternoon nap between 3 and 4:30, if he only sleeps for 45mins then that's fine. As soon as he gets up (say, about 4:30) offer him somw water, then a quiet play. Have dinner and bath all finished before 6:30pm and read a story whilst he is digesting. Perhaps get your husband to do it? He would love the closeness with his son. Then, (I can't remember if you're still breastfeeding) offter him a final feed, burp and have him in bed by 7-7:30 latest. Perhaps more 7pm? Do the final feed in his room, and make sure it's dark.

If he takes a dummy, great. If not, try it. My daughter spits hers out once she's asleep. If you've stopped wrapping him, perhaps introduce REALLY REALLY tightly pulled cot sheets. I still wrap London (17 weeks) and pull the cot sheets so tight that i have to anchor them with blankets wedged down between the bars and the mattress.

So, get him snug in a nice dark room, kiss him, tell him you love him and say goodnight. Walk out and close the door. if he fusses etc. Leave it for a few minutes (This is NOT controlled crying. My husband would have had kittens if we'd done it. London cries, and so does he!!) and if he doesn't settle, walk in and put on something for white noise. A fan or a cd on repeat of a heartbeat etc. Walk out and leave it for a few minutes.

If this doesn't work, walk in and offer him a dummy. If he hasn't taken one by now, he most likely will only shew on it for a minute, then spit it. Hold it in if you want. Sometimes London will, sometimes she won't. Always, she spits it out when she's asleep. Never make eye contact or speak to him. Wait for a few minutes, and if this doesn't work, walk in, prop him on his side or his tummy (whichever he prefers), make sure he always looks away from you. If you have to rest your hand on his head to do so, that's fine. Start the patting on the behind. Firm pats, one for every second, and lots of shushing. Keep going until you see his eyes droop. you can pat him off to sleep, or you can do it until he's drowsy.

If you pat him off to sleep, don't worry about it. All these sleep-aids that people say are trouble are very easy to break. The first night is horrible. London took 2 hours to get the idea. The next night took 1 and a half hours. The next night took 20 minutes. Last night was 5 minutes, dummy in, no noise and no patting. They learn so quickly, but persist for 10 days so that he fully understands how nice it is to drift off to sleep.

Remember, most of his yelling is merely that, and angry yell. If you feel he's hysterical, walk in and pick him up for a cuddle to calm him, then start all over.

Good luck. and don't be afraid to change the routine slightly to whatever suits you. We've been going for 45 days now, and London is a completely different baby. She was always happy, but now she's unfazed by anything. bless her.

Good luck. If I can help with anything, email me on [email protected]; I can check it on my Blackberry, so I'll be able to reply quickly.

lauren

Miss London Elise 13-10-2007

To me, he sounds tired (if hes showing tired signs at 6) but only you can really know when hes ready for bed.

My DD - 7 months- routine is
7am up and breastfeed
8am breakfast
9:30-11:30am sleep
11:30am bottle
12:00pm lunch
2:00- 4:00pm sleep
4:30pm bottle
5:30pm dinner
6:00pm bath
6:30pm breastfeed and bed.

She goes to sleep everytime without a sound, and sleeps through til 7.

I find that she is able to stay up longer in the evenings without getting over tired, because the routine keeps her occupied. Not busy and worn out, but she knows whats going on, there is not a lot of playing, just quiet time from 5:30 onwards. (I use bath as a wind down, so not a lot of playing, just quiet washing etc)
Hey, whats 'B****'?
it's a weird thing that happened when it was supposed to be a BF and then a return. dunno...technical glitch.

had a sleep consultant out and she said "he's determined isn't he"!! apparently I was doing everything right . we've tweaked some bed times but nothing has changed.

all I can say is that you have a text book tizzie baby and I don't...that's all.

If you fancy a laugh, visit my blog which is basically a collection of observations and rantings about motherhood, people and the mundane. See www.callmepicky.blogspot.com.au

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