Thanks so much for your reply, I sometimes think I'm the only one who doesn't really agree with "routines". I agree that we need to be flexible with our babies, I really don't think they are capable of thinking "If I cry mummy or daddy will come and pick me up" especially as newborns. I'm really lucky to have a really supportive nurse at our clinic, all I'd ever heard from family and friends was "controlled crying blah blah blah..." "routine, they should only be fed 4 hourly etc etc." When my son was feeding every hour I thought I must be doing something wrong, or everyone said your milk is no good or you don't have enough. The nurse reassured me that the way he was feeding is totally normal and that it is unrealistic to feed a baby only every 4 hours. She isn't one of those 'dragons' you hear about I think she is into a lot of natural therapies, she gave me an article to read on 'Attachment Parenting' - basically being there for your baby and listening to their needs. She was the first person to explain how damaging controlled crying could be - I know everyone doesn't agree with this -but it never sat right with me. She also said that especially during the first 12 months our babies are building trust in us and so it is really important that they don't feel abandoned. It all made perfect sense to me. I know everyone has their own opinions and ways of doing things, but I think forcing babies into routines can make 10 times more work and does not always keep the best interests of the baby as the most important thing. My son has just developed his own routine, however it seems to change every couple of months, obviously as he gets older he needs less sleep. The only thing I stick to is having him in bed by 7pm - which he initially started doing on his own anyway - as I need those couple of hours of a night to unwind. I think if more parents took a more flexible approach they and their babies would be a lot more relaxed. At the same time parents still need to look after themselves, but you need to expect that your life is going to change dramatically when a baby arrives. They grow up so fast - isn't it better to enjoy your baby than spend 12 months fighting to keep them in a routine that is only temporary anyway? Anyhow those are just some of my thoughts. Thanks again for sharing yours Toni.