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unhappy mum and baby Lock Rss

Yesterday I did the tresillian sleep and settling course. Unfortunately I have tried everything they discussed so was disappointed. Their techniques work sometimes but are having less and less effect on dd.
She doesnt sleep at all in the day and might get 8 hours of broken sleep a night. She also now wakes for 3 hours from 2am to 5am.
She wants the breast ALL the time. Sometimes I let her comfort suck in desperation. She just licks and plays with the nipple usually but I am so confused as to when she is really hungry or not as I can't even hold her without her trying to latch on.
I am out of ideas, she is overtired and unhappy. I am exhausted and unhappy. Considering weaning her off tthe breast as all my formula friends seem happy and their babies are also happier. Mine just cries all the time, never wakes up smiling or happy.
DH is not supportive of giving up bf. He wants me to try up to 6 months but at only 7 weeks I am at my wits end. I will persist to 3 months but I don't know how to have any sort out of life. I cant even make lunch during the day and am losing heaps of weight, my house is a pig sty and am too embarrassed to have people over.
I dont know if I will get answers here but I needed to vent. Motherhood is sooo much harder than I ever imagined.

Little Missote:
Have you tried different dummies? Sometimes it can take a few to find one that they like. If she's a comfort sucker this might work well. Is she having lots of wet nappies? Can you see a lactation consultant to make sure that she is feeding correctly? Refulx or colic medication?

Sorry just throwing idea out there that came to my head. smile

Tried 4 different dummies. Even the midwife gave me advice on introducing a dummy (even though they are normally against them). She has no interest what so ever.
I have taken her to the childrens hospital ans had her checked out and she is perfectly healthy.
She has plenty of wet and dirty nappies. She poos after every feed which the dr said is typical of bf babies. Her mouth is covered in milk after eating and she gets that milk drunk look for about 10mins before it starts again.
I have seen a LC and she was happy with her latching (we have had a few issues the last few days which I posted about but until then was ok).

Oh Steph your bub sounds exactly like my dd. After having an almost 'perfect' bub in ds1, dd was a complete shock to the system. From the night she was born she woke hourly and wanted to feed all the time. The midwife suggested getting a dummy but it didn't matter what sort I tried, she would only settle on me. We tried everything to settle her but she just wouldn't give in, and with a 15 month old to look after as well, it was a very stressful time for dh and I. She refused to sleep at all during the day, and was lucky to get 8 hours of sleep at night ( but we were p almost hourly, so probably half that!) It got to the point where I would be trying to feed ds his lunch/dinner and she would be screaming so much that all 3 of us would be in tears sad .

Unfortunately for us, formula wasn't an option as she refused to take a bottle or even a sippy cup no matter how hard we tried. I think sometimes people think that formula will be a magical cure, but its not always the case. I tried talking to the chn and Dr so many times but was just told to see how she goes in the next few weeks. By the time they decided that maybe we needed some help, she was too old to be referred to any of the sleep places sad

Sorry, I don't really have any suggestions, but just wanted to let you know that I can fully understand what you're going through. If its any consolation, she decided at 6 months that she loved sleep and has been a fantastic sleeper ever since.

Good luck with your bub, hopefully she settles a bit more for you soon and you can get on with enjoying your little girl.
Being a mum can be a tough job, gbh's hun . smile
You are right that your baby is overtired and this may be your biggest issue. This can make her want to comfort suck because as we all know it feels crappy to be over tired.
It is a shame that the course you did did not give you results, sometimes it take a bit of creativity for some babies.
As far as sleeping during the day goes have you tried the following methods to get her to sleep....
Going for a walk with the pushchair. If it is cold you can find a spot inside that has a bit of a bump to it like the join of carpet and lino or create a slight bump then rock the pushchair back and forth over the bump.... no baby can resist this.
Putting her in a bouncer and gently rocking her with your foot.
Allowing her so sleep in a sling attached to you.
These may be considered bad way to settle a baby because it creates 'bad habits' but if other methods don't work then anything to get the job done is good.
You need to be eating so I suggest that you have a spot that you can get to that you have some fruit, nuts, bars etc so if you can't get to the kitchen you still will get some food in and keep a bottle of water there too.
Don't worry about how your house looks, I know it is hard but you have more important things to do.
And on anther thread you were talking about attachment issues. When my last two babies had problems at first so I would gently pinch my nipple it makes it change shape slightly - and attach them then let it go once the baby had started to settle into the feed. This may work for you.
Overall it is important to stay relaxed and flexible. Try different ways to attach your baby, you will figure out the ways that are good and bad.
You are doing a very tough job and are a great mummy smile

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mummascott wrote:
Oh Steph your bub sounds exactly like my dd. After having an almost 'perfect' bub in ds1, dd was a complete shock to the system. From the night she was born she woke hourly and wanted to feed all the time. The midwife suggested getting a dummy but it didn't matter what sort I tried, she would only settle on me. We tried everything to settle her but she just wouldn't give in, and with a 15 month old to look after as well, it was a very stressful time for dh and I. She refused to sleep at all during the day, and was lucky to get 8 hours of sleep at night ( but we were p almost hourly, so probably half that!) It got to the point where I would be trying to feed ds his lunch/dinner and she would be screaming so much that all 3 of us would be in tears sad .

Unfortunately for us, formula wasn't an option as she refused to take a bottle or even a sippy cup no matter how hard we tried. I think sometimes people think that formula will be a magical cure, but its not always the case. I tried talking to the chn and Dr so many times but was just told to see how she goes in the next few weeks. By the time they decided that maybe we needed some help, she was too old to be referred to any of the sleep places sad

Sorry, I don't really have any suggestions, but just wanted to let you know that I can fully understand what you're going through. If its any consolation, she decided at 6 months that she loved sleep and has been a fantastic sleeper ever since.

Good luck with your bub, hopefully she settles a bit more for you soon and you can get on with enjoying your little girl.

I know formula doesn't always make a difference, but my mum swapped me to formula at 3 months because I was the same as a baby. She said I turned around completely and was a happier more settled baby. I dont know why it would make a difference but her controlling her feeds may not be working. Hmm dont know what to do...
The wait for tresiilians residential program is really really long

She may have reflux...does she spew a lot? Even if she doesn't it could be silent reflux where the acid just goes up and down their throat hurting them but they don't spew. I would get a 2nd opinion from another doctor and request to try Losec. It made all the difference for my baby who was also very very unsettled and constantly feeding. He was feeding so much as the milk soothed his throat and he needed the comfort.



CJCMF wrote:
She may have reflux...does she spew a lot? Even if she doesn't it could be silent reflux where the acid just goes up and down their throat hurting them but they don't spew. I would get a 2nd opinion from another doctor and request to try Losec. It made all the difference for my baby who was also very very unsettled and constantly feeding. He was feeding so much as the milk soothed his throat and he needed the comfort.

I have an appointment with a paed next week so will ask. The LC said she would scream at every feed if it was reflux. She doesn't vomit. This paed is supposed to me good so I'll see what he thinks.

steph19 wrote:
I have an appointment with a paed next week so will ask. The LC said she would scream at every feed if it was reflux. She doesn't vomit. This paed is supposed to me good so I'll see what he thinks.


My son didn't scream at every feed but he was unsettled when I wasn't holding him basically....so anytime he had to sleep etc.



Just throwing some ideas out there..
Possibly looking into a cranial osteopath could help? Some babies arent aligned properly due to the process of being born and this helps hugely.
Safe co sleeping saved me with my booby baby. Gave me enough sleep to just survive.
Family helped me by cooking me dinner and lunches etc.
Switching from bassinet to cot made a huge difference.
Tummy sleeping (this meant i got no sleep whatsoever as i sat there staring at him the whole time to make sure he was still breathing but it did mean a more rested baby)
Infacol.
"this too shall pass"
Elimination diet? I found different foods set my babies fussiness off. For me it was noticeably broccoli,orange juice,caffeine and chocolate.

I have gone from having a baby who fed hourly for 45mins to anearly 6 month old who feeds 3-4hourly and although his sleeping has gone through a rough patch at the moment,he was sleeping 9 hours straight overnight for a couple of months which was fantastic.
I had a goal of exclusively breastfeeding for 6 months and i am so glad ive almost achieved it as it is so worth it. This goal was the only thing that kept me going. My next goal will be 12 months smile
Dont beat yourself up if you have to resort to formula but do realise that it wont neccesarily solve everything. Good luck,you are doing a great job!

with silent reflux they don't normally vomit and DS rarely screamed either, he just fussed A LOT and wanted to be fed almost constantly. Interestingly, the comfort feeding is actually their way of calming the pain from the silent reflux - the milk soothes as they swallow but it then contributes to the silent reflux because their tummy is already full so they have another bout of silent reflux, so feed to soothe, .... and the cycle continues.

I was advised to try to keep DS semi upright for at least 20 min after feeds to try to minimise issues with the reflux (we did lots of cuddles smile the idea is just to keep their head above the level of their tummy so however you can do it works), change his nappy before the feed rather than after the feed if possible and if I had to change after a feed to roll him from side to side when taking the nappy off/putting the new one on rather than lifting his legs up a bit to slide the nappies off/on etc. I was also told to try to do tummy time either just after he woke up (before feeding) or just before going to bed to minimise the pressure on his tummy. With sleeping they suggested having the bed inclined so that his head was elevated above his tummy (I used telephone books to prop up the bassinet and then the cot at one end). These were all things that I could do while waiting to see the dr and made a lot of difference for me and how DS was coping. If they're things you haven't tried it might be worth seeing if some of them help with your bub while you wait to see the paed.

Leisa.
We were having the same problem u shuld just try one bottle of formula we now give dd 100mls at 10 n she sleeps till 4 . Ididnt wana gve her formula but honestly she had the best sleep . Its worth a try .istill breast feed during the day .


Good luck

hi there
my dd was breastfed for 10 months
the first 3 months are the hardest , she would cry for a feed or cry when unsettled I didn't know what it was
I overfed her , and underfed and was at my wits end. So I said ok at night were going bottles of breastmilk
this changed things immediately she would sleep longer ...milk supply is often down at the end of the day hence cluster feeding
don't let her play with the nipple you got to teach her that
try to limit the feeds atleast hourly or what ever just try to feed her too much
don't worry about routines that's impossible for a newborn
I did sleep school too they teached me to let her cry I did but she still needed me so I would wait 10 then go in...
at 6 weeks you have a massive growth spurt lots of boobie and comfort feeding
my aadvice is express for a while just remember to express too much as you get an oversupply and only do it at night because your buba could get dependant on the bottle and reject the breast
and remember your friends can come clean your house or hold bubs while you do it
ask for help they would love to help you out im sure if not ask the family

hang in there also infants friend worked a treat for us try it if you like all the best muma hang in there and you decide to change to formula you do it for your reasons not anyone else nothing wrong with formula
ya probably find buba wont sleep longer or settle better we tired it no difference
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