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  5. Im going to lose my SHHHHH...Anyone awake???

Im going to lose my SHHHHH...Anyone awake??? Lock Rss

The baby wont sleep. She wont settle any which way I try. We have tried many techniques to no avail. Comm Health are no help. Cant afford sleep school
She screamed 2 hr and 38 mins before falling asleep and that was the good night. This forum seems to be PG so I cant really express my frustration fully but lets just say Im not a happy camper.
Its 1.12am and I and sitting here with the headphones on. Hubby is trying to sleep with the aircon on loud in the room and I put the dryer on so she does not wake little man. She refuses the bottle and only fella asleep on the boob then wakes as soon as I try to lie her down. I have almost given up on sleep for myself

Anyone know a good movie, might peruse itunes...

Young people learn from experience. So who are we to try and stop them

Ohhhh that's tough sad DS went through a similar phase. He wold only go to sleep on the boob, and when you put him in bed he would scream his head off. Not fun sad




"Parenting is the easiest thing in the world to have an opinion about, but the hardest thing in the world to do."

Still screaming strong. There seems to be no end to her cries. I hurts me to listen but I have been trying to get her to sleep since 7pm. She has only slept for 20mins tonight. Or on me for about 10mins then promptly wakes to scream some more.
6 & 1/2 hrs...Im so tired, how can she still be awake...

I forgot how far ahead NZ is to us. I should call my sister. She will be up with the horses

Young people learn from experience. So who are we to try and stop them

yeah. when she was little...im sure she was. too tired to think
we go through good and bad times, lately the bad out weighs the good and seems to be getting worse. The last 2 nights I got her to sleep at 12am and she slept 7 hrs but tonight she is not giving in. 40 mins now since I put her in her cot to scream. she only stops for about 30-60 sec then starts again. I think exhaustion will win soon but its not a solution letting her scream herself hoarse.

Young people learn from experience. So who are we to try and stop them

You must be exhausted! I hope she goes to sleep soon sad




"Parenting is the easiest thing in the world to have an opinion about, but the hardest thing in the world to do."

You name it we've tried it. Its almost 2.30am and i think I may finally get to bed...lets hold my breath and creep down the hall to bed
I gave in and picked her up. She drank 125ml bottle then onto the bob as a comfort. Sigh...its going to be interesting taking her on holidays monday

Young people learn from experience. So who are we to try and stop them

Oh alli cat I hope you managed to get a little sleep.

Just a thought and you have probably tried it, but if she is using the boob as comfort, have you tried her with a dummy? Sorry I'm not much help!
How old is she?

I see absolutely nothing wrong at all with either sleeping with them or feeding them to sleep. Sure, sometimes it's inconvenient but in reality it's a great way for the whole family to sleep well with minimum disruption. I have done it with all 3 of my kids and They all sleep well and as they get older they phase it out themselves. The aim in our society seems to be put them into bed awake from as early as possible and let them go to sleep on their own and sleep for a good no of hours. Realistically, it doesn't work for every baby. People assume that if it doesn't work this way then they must have done something wrong in the past (created a bad habit) or be doing something wrong now. Babies/ children all have different needs. Some have dealt with traumA, (issues at birth, separation from mother for example) some have health issues either known or unknown and some have different emotional needs.
Their instincts tell them to stay with their parent for safety, yet western societies aim is to get them to be alone when they are most vulnerable. We know they are safe, but they don't.

I could write a whole essay on this, but I will restrain myself!!

Basically I just want people to know it is ok to do things like sleep with the kids or feed them to sleep. It doesn't create bad habits - they are designed for it.

Op no idea how big she is but could she be in a soft Moses basket and you lay down in your bed to feed her to sleep. Once she is asleep you could lift the basket into the cot?

All the best with it. Lack of sleep is just awful....
Xxx

Hi ally, just dropping by for a quick browse and a hello... I've been through what you're going through with my dd. after we got her sleep sorted I could see where I went wrong, and when we had our second child we proved that we went about it the wrong way the first time as we had success with him.

The first mistake you've made here is trying everything under the sun. It unsettles her to change her routine, so she just wants to keep going back to what she knows. What you need to do is choose a method of settling her and stick to it through hell or high water. For my dd I chose 'self settling' when she was 13 months old. This involved putting her in bed, walking out and letting her scream. I didn't go back in... First night she screamed for an hour, and kept waking in the night... I didn't go in. Second night she screamed for a half hour, woke a few times and cried for a short time overnight. Third night grizzled for 15 mins, went to sleep and didn't hear from her til morning. She slept through every night from then on.

I don't actually recommend what I did. It was horrible, and it happened out of desperation because I was actually afraid that I would hurt her if I didn't do something drastic.

When my son was born I had researched it and knew how we'd go about it. Because I demand fed I was getting up frequently to him when he was younger so I still needed to get him to learn how to settle... I used the baby bliss routines from their website (you have to click purchase and go through checkout, but they're actually free. Weird I know) then from there we would do his bedtime routine and put him into bed sleepy but awake. I'd listen to his cries and I wouldn't go in straight away.. I'd only go in when he was starting to get distressed... And when I went in I did the same thing every time. This was to go in, no talking or eye contact, put him up to my left shoulder and pat his back til he was calm again. The first night I did this maybe 20 times, and during the night too if it had been less than an hour since I'd fed him.

Because my resolve was not as strong this time I did give in a few times and fed him to sleep. Because of this is took two weeks before he started self settling with no upset. But... I never treated my giving in as failure, we'd just start again the next time he woke.

Babies like the SAME SAME SAME. So if you stick to a new routine eventually they will come to expect your reaction to be the same as what you've been sticking to, and that's what will then be comforting to them.

My son now sleeps through and we have no sleep issues in our house unless someone gets sick. We did have issues with what seemed to be night terrors with ds a short while ago but I did the research, asked questions and since then that has stopped happening too. (Thankfully!!!)

I will say though that if you choose to do this you should expect that on the first night or maybe two or three nights… you will not get any sleep. You have to just accept this and look at the long term and how this will not be forever. Learning to self settle never happens quickly, there's no quick fix and no miracle cure.. you just have to do the hard yards.

It's all well and good for you ladies to say it's natural and is less disruptive to the family… but in all fairness unless you've gotten to this point that ally is at then you DO NOT UNDERSTAND how debilitating this constant lack of sleep it. It's torture and it brings you to your knees mentally… Some people also seem to do okay with little sleep. I was not one of those people and absolutely did not cope with no sleep. So, with that in mind, it was NOT the best thing for my family to be feeding my dd to sleep every night because I could barely function as a mother, let alone be a good mother to my child. I would suggest that unless you have suggestions to support this mother with what she wants to do you should not say anything.

Good luck Ally!

(Edited!)




3 cuties I say that because people saying those kinds of things to a woman who is beside herself with lack of sleep is putting her under pressure that she really doesn't need. I also had that pressure put on me, and therefore I thought there was something wrong with ME for not being able to cope with it. You can see that ally was at breaking point. I DO know what this is like, I have been through the exact same thing so I think that yes I do know something about what she's feeling.




Ally I hope you got to bed for a reasonable number of hours after that epic battle with your little one. We had lots of sleep issues with our DD. She was easy enough to get to bed for the first few hours but went through multiple phases of waking up overnight for 3-4 hours every night and needing attention OR would cry herself into a state of vomiting and shaking if we tried to leave her. A breastfeed would settle her and sometimes she'd fall asleep but would then wake as soon as we tried to put her down again. She would have been about the same age as your little one then too. It went on from 10 - 14 months, so 4 months of absolute exhausting hell. I admit we tried "cry it out" type methods but all this did for our family was create hours of crying, vomited on bedding and frustration from everybody. At one point my husband punched a hole in the wall at 2am and went for a drive, leaving me for 30 minutes with the screaming baby... I then got up at 5am to go to work. For us, there was no quick solution... the first thing we did was co sleep for about 2 or 3 months. It was never something we wanted to do and at the time it was annoying because we had a wriggling squirming baby in the bed. Whilst we didn't get awesome sleep, we got more than we had been and I think although we still knew the sleep issues were not solved, it allowed us to get a bit of mental and physical strength back to be able to deal with her antics. I think for DD it also gave her back some security that we were there for her. After a few months of having her in our bed, we put her mattress on the floor next to us and gradually transitioned her to sleeping there, then into her own room on a mattress and then eventually we bought a toddler bed and got her sleeping on that. Each change had to be made gently - we had to put our foot down and say this is how it is but also had to be gentle towards her, so lots of sitting waiting for her to fall asleep, lots of cuddles etc. Honestly, it was not until she turned 2 that her sleep dramas really turned around, but we did manage to get back to a manageable state.

I hope you find a solution and better sleep comes soon. Have you looked at sleep schools or gotten advice from child health nurses etc?




Follow my blog "Bed Rest for Baby" at http://www.babysteps1804.wordpress.com

Nai&BE wrote:
chalys 'n' J wrote:


It's all well and good for you ladies to say it's natural and is less disruptive to the family… but in all fairness unless you've gotten to this point that ally is at then you DO NOT UNDERSTAND how debilitating this constant lack of sleep it. It's torture and it brings you to your knees mentally… Some people also seem to do okay with little sleep. I was not one of those people and absolutely did not cope with no sleep. So, with that in mind, it was NOT the best thing for my family to be feeding my dd to sleep every night because I could barely function as a mother, let alone be a good mother to my child. I would suggest that unless you have suggestions to support this mother with what she wants to do you should not say anything.

Good luck Ally!

(Edited!)
Wtf????!! Who are you to say who should reply to Ally and who shouldn't? FYI not that it matters I went through hell with my dd and sleep. I thought some horrible thoughts and I completely know what its like to have no sleep. My suggestions were in support of Ally. What works for us at the moment is to feed and co sleep. Your way is not the only way.. Different things work for different families.


+1

Chalys I know what you're trying to say - that if she wants to go down the controlled crying, self settling path that it's up to her to do so. I don't think anybody who made suggestions or input told her she was wrong if she wanted to try that. But from what I gathered from her OP, these methods to date have not worked... so others have shared what they have done to try and overcome sleep problems. I think all the suggestions so far have been reasonable and realistically, I think there are very FEW mothers who can say that they have had brilliant sleeping babies/toddlers and have never been at that point of exhaustion and desperation.




Follow my blog "Bed Rest for Baby" at http://www.babysteps1804.wordpress.com

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