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his daughter is causing huge problems Lock Rss

Hi,

This isn't going to be short and i hope someone has some advice or something. I'm going thru hell at present.

I have some serious issues with my partner's 13 year old daughter. She has flown over to spend christmas with us and now i just want to stick her back on a plane and send her back to Queensland.

She got here on Tuesday and the first couple of days she was fine, on Thursday i had to return to Perth for my uncle's funeral, who i was close to. Everything was fine in the car on the way there, i dropped her at my BIL place to spend some time with her cousins, when i picked her up she asked if her cousin could stay for a couple of days and as i wanted her to spend some time with her cousin and "thought" i was doing the right thing, i said yes. Things went downhill fast. Nobody, my partner included, thought to tell me what a sneaky, vindictive bitch the cousin is. Apparently everybody knows she's a cow. She's 11 and DP's daughter is 13.

Last night i was told they were being b$%^&#s because i wasn't "cool and nice" anymore. Helloooo, my uncle died, i have a house to get ready for christmas and they just don't seem to think they are doing anything wrong. I'm seriously thinking of leaving coz i can't live like this.

They also told DP i spent the day yelling at them and i didn't. I'm being ignored in my own home and being made to feel like i'm the one in the wrong each time. DP's daughter is used to getting her own way and it's not gonna happen, i have three younger children who need my attentio as she patronises them, makes fun of the way they speak and/or just ignores them. They have been so excited about her coming over but it is just starting to feel like a huge mistake.

I have no idea what to do and my partner thinks it's my fault because i can't stay "calm and rational". He says i'm nit-picking. They've gone to work with him today and i have told him not to bother bringing them back if they continue the behaviour. I can't live like this. I thought i was doing the right thing in letting the cousin come and stay but it's all been thrown back in my face. I have no idea how to handle this and it's really, really stressing me out.

Its definitely a diffcult situation.
I think that your partner seems to be taking sides with his daughter because he doesn't see her that often and when she leaves will probably make it up to you.
I think you should ignore the behaviour of his daughter and the cousin because they know they can get a rise out of you. I know its a real stressful time with Christmas and your uncle dying, but you need to chill out for your own sake. Ask your partner for support because if he doesn't support you on this issue it makes it 10 x harder for everyone.

Take care and I wish you a merry christmas!

Kirsten, NZ, Ella 02.10.1997, Gabrielle 20.06.2005

i hope the girl has gone home now! if not, i'd be putting her on a plane !!! how horrible, i know 13year olds think they rule the world! i just hope for your sake you have hung in there...

mumsgroup.tk -Kayden 31.1.05 & Tianah 25.8.06

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