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  5. Breast is ideal but not always best

Breast is ideal but not always best Lock Rss


I don't think anyone was implying that. From what ive read people have been suggesting ways to continue BF if she still felt like she wanted too as many women give up too soon due to lack of information. But FF mums take that as insulting to them and that BF mums are trying to be all pretentious. The fact is BF is better for bubs, it's a fact and that is why it can be worth trying to overcome problems in the early days. But FF is the 2nd best or plan B option and if that is what a mum wants to do then she shouldn't feel guilty, sometimes there is no other choice. I think your post is kinda trying to start an argument here, pushing people into BF or FF sides. Only you make yourself feel like sh!t for your decisions.


i quoted and was refering only to what OC1246 was saying. please read it and then tell me your interpretation of it.

no i only feel like sh!t if i make a decision and then people second guess it and try to tell me the alternative is better.

The day i broke up with normal was the first day of my magical life...


if so then this is exactly what i meant about people making others feel like sh!t for the choices they have made....that is so wrong


no i only feel like sh!t if i make a decision and then people second guess it and try to tell me the alternative is better.

Only you can be responsible for how you feel. If you've made a decision about something and are confident you've made the right one then it shouldn't matter what others think. If you "feel like sh!t" then I'd be re-examining my choices.
If the OP is truly happy with her decision then the encouragement she's receiving here won't make any difference one way or the other.

But FF is the 2nd best or plan B option and if that is what a mum wants to do then she shouldn't feel guilty, sometimes there is no other choice

Interestingly FF is 5th down the list of preferred feeding methods for babies. Kind of puts in into perspective when you consider that...?

Interestingly FF is 5th down the list of preferred feeding methods for babies. Kind of puts in into perspective when you consider that...?



Just out of curiousity, what are the other feeding methods...?

so are you implying that ff children are less healthy

I don't think she was - but it doesn't need to be "implied" - it's a medical fact. Why do you think BF is promoted so much?
Here's some info about the benefits of breastfeeding
I will add my 2 cents worth, with DD, I had breastfeeding issues, it didnt feel right I rang ABA and other places and they said perserve, my DD fed almost non stop for 5 days, I said it didnt feel right, this was at less than 2 weeks old, I had a very supportive husband who attended breastfeeding classes with me and was trying his best. Although my milk wasnt enough. We happened to be at my parents on the 5th day of constant feeding, 5mins on 5 mins sleep for over 5 days, I was exhausted. My dad said that is not normal, but the ABA said it was, well Dad said I havent had a baby for a while ( I was 25 at the time) but its not. So my brother went to the chemist for me as DH and I were exhausted and bought us formula. I did both BF and FF for the next 7 weeks, until I figured out that DD was using me for a dummy. Then I needed my appendix out and with the antibiotics I wouldnt have been able to BF anyways. But I was pressured after this to try to BF again, I couldnt even express 5mL of milk.

With DS, he started the same pattern as DD at 1 weeks old, DH said after one day of constant feeding (non stop for 5hours like his sister did), thats it Im off to buy formula we are not doing this again, I managed to BF and FF until 6 weeks.

You know whats best for you, BF is not the be all of being a mother, loving caring, disipline and educating are all part of it. Good luck


Just out of curiousity, what are the other feeding methods...?

...Sorry, should have been 4th!
In order of preference..
1. Your own breastmilk from your breast
2. EBM
3. Donor EBM
4. Formula

so are you implying that ff children are less healthy and that parents that chose to ff are taking the easy way out and that they will continue to feed them in a way that is easier ( and not as healthy)?

if so then this is exactly what i meant about people making others feel like sh!t for the choices they have made....that is so wrong


no sugar and spice. i am explaining why bf has an impact other then just immediate hunger satisfaction in the early years. i am pointing out that after 10 years of specialising in handrearing that if you want an animal to have the best chance of success you go out of your way to get the milk from that species. bm is so complex it can not possibly be recreated in the lab. the body processes it differently. so yes it can potentially mean bf babies are healthier. science tells you that too. (and it isnt a conspiracy to make ff feel bad. )

in regards to ff taking the easy way out it depends on the person and their individual attitude. breastfeeding a baby is incrediably hard. its hard mentally and its hard physically. not just for the first few days but the first few weeks and months. i have been bf for 4 years straight and you know what? some days its still hard! ff is physically easier then bf (i fully understand what is involved with ff as i have stérilised and fed 2 hourly for numerous animals for years) when people have a go at bf and stop after an incrediably short time over normal issues it is their attitude that gets them through. if ff had the same physical effects which would people choose then? tell me why people choose to ff if they stop bf for medical reasons, if it isn't because its easier.

people offering advice on bf, advocating bf and supporting people to bf is not designed to make ff feel bad. only you can do that. but don't expect people to pat you on the back when you hide behind normal behaviour and claim it didnt work for your kid. it did work, you chose not to continue. which you have every right to do! nobody says you dont have a right to choose! but dont expect people to pretend they are the same and there aren't either positives or negatives to either.

sorry about all the crap grammar....on my ipod and it keeps converting everything to french....

Only you can be responsible for how you feel. If you've made a decision about something and are confident you've made the right one then it shouldn't matter what others think. If you "feel like sh!t" then I'd be re-examining my choices.


Completely agree.

If you make informed choices you are happy with, then YOU will know you did the best thing within your control, and after that noone can make you regret your choices or feel bad about your decisions.

We all know that mums who choose to formula feed feel perpetually guilty. That is not the fault of mums who successfully breastfed. If the OP is unhappy with her decision, and then hears that her issues were actually a normal part of the struggles breastfeeding brings, then she can be happier with a choice to continue breastfeeding. If she is not unhappy with her choice, then as someone else said it won't matter that people are offering guidance and reassurance that her problems are normal.
Can I also add that BF is not just about feeding. As someone who had BF issues initially and had to give my bub EBM for a few weeks I saw a huge change in his behaviour once he started BF. He became more settled and started enjoying being cuddled. It's an incredible bonding experience.
I think maybe what you mean is that breast is BEST but not always IDEAL.

For some it just doesn't happen and I would never judge anyone for choosing to FF over BF for whatever reason. I also don't think FF Mums should have to explain themselves.

Formula is synthetically made, so has had hundreds of thousands of hours of study to be able to sufficiently nurture a baby. Many babies will seem more settled on formula because it fills their bellies quicker and for longer than BM.

I BF for 9 months. It was hard and I persevered through all the initial troubles. I was told to FF too as DS was not thriving as a newborn, instead I chose to supplement formula while still latching him to the breast.

It's exactly that, a CHOICE.

The PP including OC1246 are not trying to belittle the OP or judge them they are just trying to give some advice and provide some perspective on a situation they experienced that was similar.

Can I also add that BF is not just about feeding. As someone who had BF issues initially and had to give my bub EBM for a few weeks I saw a huge change in his behaviour once he started BF. He became more settled and started enjoying being cuddled. It's an incredible bonding experience.



That is not always the case, and it annoys me when we get into saying that breastfeeding is the only way bonding occurs. I have a sensory processing disorder and I find breastfeeding to be almost unbearable. The feeling of it is all too much for me. I am still breastfeeding my 9 month old and I can tell you right now there is nothing bonding about our breastfeeds. She has 2 bottles a day so is partially bottlefed for the sake of my sanity and I can tell you it is those bottlefeeds that are our bonding time. Those are the times that I can look down at her and feel love, we can take our time with the feed because I am not counting down the seconds before I can rip her off like I do with the breastfeeds. So yes breastfeeding may be an incredible bonding experience for some. But is not for all.

to the op, breastfeeding struggles can take weeks to settle down, or in our case months, which I guess is what some of the other ladies were trying to say but if you feel it's not right for you, that's your choice. If she wanted breastfeeding advice she would have asked for it. You are feeding your child, that's the important thing.

DS1 4 yrs
DS2 2yrs
DD 1yr

[link=http://lilypie.com][/link]


That is not always the case, and it annoys me when we get into saying that breastfeeding is the only way bonding occurs. I have a sensory processing disorder and I find breastfeeding to be almost unbearable. The feeling of it is all too much for me. I am still breastfeeding my 9 month old and I can tell you right now there is nothing bonding about our breastfeeds. She has 2 bottles a day so is partially bottlefed for the sake of my sanity and I can tell you it is those bottlefeeds that are our bonding time. Those are the times that I can look down at her and feel love, we can take our time with the feed because I am not counting down the seconds before I can rip her off like I do with the breastfeeds. So yes breastfeeding may be an incredible bonding experience for some. But is not for all.

to the op, breastfeeding struggles can take weeks to settle down, or in our case months, which I guess is what some of the other ladies were trying to say but if you feel it's not right for you, that's your choice. If she wanted breastfeeding advice she would have asked for it. You are feeding your child, that's the important thing.


nobody has said bf is the ONLY way bonding occurs. However when you bf it releases oxytocin which is a bonding/love chemical. It happens when your nipples are stimulated. So she isn't saying it to be critical of your situation, she is writing it because bonding also occurs chemically and that happens during birth and breastfeeding. It isn't to be mean, its just biology.
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