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Am I selfish????????? Lock Rss

If you want to do it then go right ahead!
My DD has been going to childcare since she was 6 months old. She started on one day a week, then after she was about 16 months we put her in for another day.
She absolutely loves it. Back then she was an only child and I'm not a fan of playgroups, so we decided to put her into childcare - she gets to interact with kids her own age and she learns heaps there.
We've put DS on the waiting list and he'll start one day a week when he's around 6-8 months. (on one of the days she goes too, so I get a whole day to myself!)

So what if people think it's selfish.. I can get sooooo much more done when she's not here. Plus I get time to spend solely on DS. And I get ME time, which is very important.

Do what you want to do. I don't think it's selfish..
OK I am going to put this one oyt there and may be way off the mark.

BUT for all of you who say it is extremely selfish and it YOUR job to raise your children etc and you shouldn't need 'me' time away from the kids (BTW I DO agree it is your job to raise your kids but everyopne deserves a break)

What do your DH/DPs do?
What hours do they work?
What do they do around the house?

I am not trying to say poor me, but not everyone has the luxury of a partner who can do things around the house or family that help out.

DH is gone from 2am - 6pm everyday and 2am - around lunchtime-2pm on a saturday, he is in bed my 8pm so does nothing around the house or for the kids, I put my older two in daycare for 3 hrs P/W while I was going to DRs appointments, other than that I would come home and clean.

All our shops are closed during the week by 6pm - supermarket inc - and by lunchtime on weekends, so I do take my kids everywhere with me.
If I am selfish by wanting a measly 3 hrs P/W rest shoot me.
I do not take the place of working mums and have now pulled them out anyway.

Everyone situiation is different and the way I look at it YES it is our job to rae our kids but if I was working in an office I would at least get to knock off after 8 hrs rather than be on call for 24!! I think a couple of hours a week with a trusted Child Care centre is fine, if it works for you who cares?
I put DD in one day a week from 6 months old as I was studying via distance education and I needed a day to study without interruption. Although this is a genuine reason DD continued going one day a week from December to February (minus 2 weeks over christmas) as she really loves it there, i didn't want to loose my place and it was nice to have some me time. On these days i'd only leave her there for 3-4 hours rather than the 6 she'd normally go for and i'd make sure we had an extra special afternoon. In this time i'd sleep, shop alone, clean and meet DP for lunch.

I think if you really feel like you need a break then go for it just don't do it purely to go to the movies. Use your time wisely and catch up on some sleep, do some spring cleaning or do whatever you have been putting off for months. I am in Canberra and my centre is full by the way but you are right in saying most of them will have a space for one day a week.
Thanks JennaLJ

I'm just going to leave with your statement and start cleaning.....

Thank you for all the mothers who took the time to write.

Posted by: ggsmama
i think you should leave the spots for working mothers.. your at home how much more of a break could you need? cant you do that stuff on the weekend?

Excuse me? Your obviously not a SAHM if you think that being one is a 'break' every day.

In answer to the OP's question. Yes I think you are being selfish. For the reasons that everyone else has already said.

I have never put my kids into day care

I always take them with me when I need to get things done

I loved playgroups & we went to 3 when in Canberra & I don't get how parents say it doesn't work for them. You have to make it work for the sake of your child's social life, & for yours

I get my nails done & the boys would sit in their pram & now they are 4 I take a bag of toys & they sit on the floor & play with them, it is only 1 hour & it teaches patience

I believe because I have taken my kids everywhere with me they know how to behave when out in different situations (not to say that mums who don't take their kids don't have kids that know this as well) & we have had no problem taking our 2 yr olds (when they were 2) to a 4 star resturant because we knew they wouldn't make a fuss (now I am single we don't go to resturants lol)

It is your decision but I wouldn't

It's selfish if you are doing it for you and not for them. But being selfish isn't a crime. I love the fact that I get to stay at home and raise my kids and couldn't put them into daycare myself. I get my nails done too, every fortnight, and I found someone to work around me and my children, so she comes to my house at a time when my baby is asleep and the kids are at school.

For those particular reasons, yes I do think that is selfish.
In my opinion (and I am entitled to one)

Yes you are being very very selfish, I dont care what you say but putting an 8 month old in to care so you can get your nails done or go to the movies is down right selfish

I can understand putting an older child in for social interaction etc but an 8 month old

I live in Canberra and know of quite a few mums who are unable to return to work becuase of spots taken up in day care centres by selfish mums like you. There are waiting lists at many many centres, a working mother or a mother with a child with special needs or a single working mother should take priority over a selfish woman like you

Nope! Not at all! Everybody deserves personal time! I feel sorry for the mum's that have to work and don't have a choice, but in all respect, they get to have adult interaction, no yelling for more sultana's, no fighting, crying, etc..

I've done both, and although I didn't like being away from my kids I did secretly enjoy the 'time out'! To sound a bit contradictory, I do love being home with my kids at the moment... but when you've been on duty for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, I think 4-5 hours off to do food shopping in peace, to clean the house, to take a walk, to meet a friend for a coffee, isn't a crime!

We are conditioned to feel guilty no matter what we do with our kids! You just do what you need to do to stay being the best Mum you can be!!!

ETA, just re-read your post and realised your little one is 8 months.. I wouldn't leave my baby at 8 months in a day care centre if I didn't have to! They are too young! I only had my son in when he was over 2. He was old enough to be able to tell me what was going on there!
[Edited on 24/06/2008]
Yes I do. But do what you want you dont have to justify yourself to anyone!
i'm in two minds about it because on the one hand if you feel that you NEED this time to yourself to be able to provide good care for your children when they are home with you, then i think its important (for example if you suffer PND or something and have been advised to have a day child free for your own mental well being)
But on the other hand i think that when you decide to have children, you all decide to take on all the responsibilities that come with them. Having time off to go to the movies or get your nails done is putting your own interests before your childs because at 8 months of age,aside from working, there is no legitimate reason for putting your child in care in my eyes.
But that's only my perspective and everyone is entitled to their own. I think you have already made your mind up about what you want to do so i would just do it and not seek approval from other mothers because i don't think you will find it from everyone.
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