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Gender Depression Rss

I know it sounds shallow and I should be thankful for a healthy bub either way he/she comes out, but I can't stop obsessing, I see little girls in the street and I cry. Help, how do I overcome this, I am only 6 weeks pregnant, but I am counting down the days till the 18-20 week scan so I can hopefully deal with knowing either way before the bub comes.
This pregnancy was a complete accident and I am excited and happy but very scared about the possibility of another boy. My mother has 9 sisters. I have only brothers, and I feel like I am missing out on 'girly' things. I am also dreading telling my friends and family and see the looks of pity on their faces, they will say like last time.."Oh we really hope you get a girl" I say.. "I don't mind. I am used to boys, they are easy"... can someone please tell me how to deal with these thoughts. I have had them for years now, before I fell pregnant and they aare really affecting the way I am living and how I am parenting my kids. I can keep being depressed like this.

I know it sounds shallow and I should be thankful for a healthy bub either way he/she comes out, but I can't stop obsessing, I see little girls in the street and I cry. Help, how do I overcome this, I am only 6 weeks pregnant, but I am counting down the days till the 18-20 week scan so I can hopefully deal with knowing either way before the bub comes.
This pregnancy was a complete accident and I am excited and happy but very scared about the possibility of another boy. My mother has 9 sisters. I have only brothers, and I feel like I am missing out on 'girly' things. I am also dreading telling my friends and family and see the looks of pity on their faces, they will say like last time.."Oh we really hope you get a girl" I say.. "I don't mind. I am used to boys, they are easy"... can someone please tell me how to deal with these thoughts. I have had them for years now, before I fell pregnant and they aare really affecting the way I am living and how I am parenting my kids. I can keep being depressed like this.


hun i can understand i was like this with baby #3 i did whoever have a gut feeling that she was a girl and yep we got a girl im pregnant again and really feeling its a girl hoping i am right id prefer another girl opposed to a boy lol
pm me if u want to chat smile

I always thought I would have a lil girl with our first. We didn't find out the sex. My husband comes from a family of 6 (he is a triplet. There are no triplets in his family beside them and they were natrual triplets) and all the others have 1 or 2 girls each expect for the oldest of the 6 he has a little boy so I thought what are the chances of us having a boy with everyone else having girls. We didn't care what we had but I was the same as you hoping for a lil girl first time round but I always said as long as it is healthy I didn't care. I liked thinking of having a boy first coz of the whole big brother thing. I can remember when we had him how shocked we were. I cried when I found out he was a boy. My husband also cried. We called our parents and told them and they also cried. When I found out that I was pregnant with baby no 2 I knew straight away that I was having another boy. My husband told me that it could still be a girl but I just had a gut feeling and such enough at 17.5 weeks we found out he was a boy. We are are going to start tryin again in a few months and I'm secretly hoping for a girl. Watching my 9 niece's grow up with pretty clothes etc and wish that I had a lil girl to dress in pretty clothes. I love both our boys with all my heart and wouldn't change a thing about them but I know how you feel. You always have that hope there and then when you find out you feel that disappointment coming on. When I found out with DS 2 I just kept telling myself he was a boy so that I didn't get me hopes up. I hope that you are blessed with a lil girl.







Your feelings are totally natural. I personally believe that everyone has a preference whether they want a girl or a boy in each pregnancy, but maybe they don't admit that to themselves or anyone else! I was always worried about having boys, that I wouldn't bond with them which is why I always found out what sex my babies were. I know it won't make you feel any better, but I don't doubt that at some stage you will come to terms with what you are having whichever way it is.

Is it possible for you not to tell others about this pregnancy until after your scan so that you are already comfortable with what you are having? Not sure if it would be, probably depends on how sick you are and how much you are showing.

Just remember that you can always come on here to get things off your chest if you need to.
I was abit like that when i had my second baby and it was another boy. But I think that a healthy baby is a great baby. My friend cried when she gave birth to yet another boy, I didnt think that was very nice.. I also have four children, but I have two boys and two girls.. I think you just need to try and change your way of thinking.. and be happy.. smile
Hey there
I think it's normal to secretly wish for a gender of a baby I had a girl up front and hoped for a boy second time round I was blessed with a boy and another girl and deep down would love another boy but if we get another girl So be it lol.
I have heard of trying for a baby that the closer to ovulation you try you could get a boy as they "swim" faster as to a little bit past the day of ovulation as girls "swim" slower but don't die off as fast I have read a post a while back about something like this you could research this I no a guy at dp's work tried a method like this for a girl and they did have a girl hope your dreams are met by a little girl good luck and most importantly try to be be happy darl no matter what the out come isxx
I know exactly how you feel. I have two amazing little boys who I wouldn't change for anything, but growing up I had always imagined having girls. I came from a family of all girls, and my older sister has 3 girls (although she did finally add a boy to her brood last week!) so I just assumed I'd be the same.
I definately agree that the important thing is to bring home a healthy baby but there is no shame is wanting a specific gender.
I purposely asked for an anatomy scan with DS2 in the hopes of allowing myself time to come to terms with having another boy when I fell pregnant with DS2. I was genuinely worried that if I was 'surprised' with another boy after having 9 months of wishing for a girl that I would leave the hospital depressed and that was the last thing I wanted for myself or my family.
Hubby & I are currently trying for #3 and I do secretly hope for a girl. We're doing a few things here and there to try & sway our chances of conceiving a pink bundle but after having DS2 I beleive that everything happens as a life lesson and if Im meant to have 3 boys then I will love them all with everything in me - and will just have to borrow my 3 neices a bit more often!!
I am glad to hear this is normal. I am pregnant and I am 100percent set on a girl and even when my partner suggests that It may be a boy I feel like crying. I have had 8 friends that had boys and 2 cousins with boys, Ive never held a baby girl and if my scan shows that its a boy I just wont know what to do with myself.

Keep us all posted on what your baby is when you find out!!! Fingers are crossed for you!!!

I know it sounds shallow and I should be thankful for a healthy bub either way he/she comes out, but I can't stop obsessing, I see little girls in the street and I cry. Help, how do I overcome this, I am only 6 weeks pregnant, but I am counting down the days till the 18-20 week scan so I can hopefully deal with knowing either way before the bub comes.
This pregnancy was a complete accident and I am excited and happy but very scared about the possibility of another boy. My mother has 9 sisters. I have only brothers, and I feel like I am missing out on 'girly' things. I am also dreading telling my friends and family and see the looks of pity on their faces, they will say like last time.."Oh we really hope you get a girl" I say.. "I don't mind. I am used to boys, they are easy"... can someone please tell me how to deal with these thoughts. I have had them for years now, before I fell pregnant and they aare really affecting the way I am living and how I am parenting my kids. I can keep being depressed like this.


You really shouldn't stress over something you have ZERO control over. You knew going into this pregnancy that there is a 50/50 chance of a girl or boy so really you did just want another BABY regardless of what sex it is. Just be happy that you are so blessed with your 3 (and a half hehehe) kids. Like i said, you cant change it, so dont worry about it smile
I don't think having such a shallow opinion on how someone else should feel is all that helpful IMO. If you have nothing positive or helpful to add then you really shouldn't add anything - especially on a subject that is so upsetting and sesitive to a lot of us. Even though subconsiously you know you have no control over what you have when you are TTC it still plays on the back of your mind at how it will feel to hear the words "boy" again or "girl" if you really want a boy.

Now to answer your concerns you are not a bad person, nor is feeling like this a bad thing, nor does it make you any less caring or good as a mother. I also had the same feelings both times I had live babies. The first time I was convinced I was having a girl and it was everything I ever dremed of having my entire life. We had a 20 week scan chose not to find out then a few weeks later the need to know consumed me - due to a sort of bad dream I had had. I had another scan and found out it was a boy. I was devastated as my dream of a little girl was not happening. I did greive what I was not to have - which by the way is a normal response and that is coming from professionals. I cried lot and didn't want to go into the shops for a long time after and chose to stay out of the nursery until I felt like I had dealt with the grief.

Second time things went wrong but after genetic testing came back I knew it was a boy as well but the fact that there were issues was my main concern that time.

Third and final time we had a scan at about 16 weeks and were told a boy - but I already knew that. I think part of me was very upset and agin grieved and it did take me a long time to get used to the idea and the reality that having little girl was never going to happen for me.

Since then I have been watching friends with little girls aged from 2 - 18 and the problems they all seem to be having with them compared to their boys has shown me a lot. Little girls are cute but then they grow up and sometimes they just aren't as cute - I know this is true of boys as well but seems to be less so. I also look at a lot of girls around the malls and they all seem to be rough and dress so unfeminine and just aren't the way I imagine I would want my girl to be like.

Both my boys are fabulous and very affectionate evn though they sometimes do my head in but I think about how a girl would go in a house of boys and I think she would end up been a tomboy anyway. I have taken years to fully deal with this situation and now I can say even though a girl would of been nice I am OK with there not been a girl in my house. Also my DH spoils me and I am the only "princess" in the house and if there was a girl I would have to share my crown - it helps me when I think of it this way.

But also you could always ask your doctor how to get help and they might be able to refer you to someone who can help you get through the next months - coping techniques. I wouldn't be telling anyone until I had to anyway so just ignore any questions and it is Winter so wear bulky clothes to hide anything you have too.
hey..
I know how u feel? when I had my first child, everyone ard me was telling me that its gonna be a boy and I was like I wish to be a boy coz its like if u have a boy first in the family its like a big thing... and I was so sure abt it.. .for the 19 weeks its here and the sonographer told me its a gal and I was like are u sure? even she check twice n very sure abt it. I was in total dissapointment but hubby thought of cheer me up n we went straight to buy a lil gals dress. Later every1 again making comments like its imposible n bla bla bla sort of got me mess up and I got to do another ultrasound ard 34weeks and yeap another sonographer comfirms ITS A GAL!So theres my lil gals story and now they said I have a boy where I really want a gal now and I just hope as long as he is safe, healthy and happy its all I ask for..

anyhoo... I guess the moral of my story is wish for the opposites its always turns out the opposite whats u wish for... not sure true or not but worth a try and the most important as long as they are healthy & happy and I am healthy mentally n physically and able to spend quality time with them before they dont want mommy anymore (thats when they found they gf or bf) its all I care.

I know it sounds shallow and I should be thankful for a healthy bub either way he/she comes out, but I can't stop obsessing, I see little girls in the street and I cry. Help, how do I overcome this, I am only 6 weeks pregnant, but I am counting down the days till the 18-20 week scan so I can hopefully deal with knowing either way before the bub comes.
This pregnancy was a complete accident and I am excited and happy but very scared about the possibility of another boy. My mother has 9 sisters. I have only brothers, and I feel like I am missing out on 'girly' things. I am also dreading telling my friends and family and see the looks of pity on their faces, they will say like last time.."Oh we really hope you get a girl" I say.. "I don't mind. I am used to boys, they are easy"... can someone please tell me how to deal with these thoughts. I have had them for years now, before I fell pregnant and they aare really affecting the way I am living and how I am parenting my kids. I can keep being depressed like this.



So, Sorry to hear this if i didnt have a girl i would really want one too!!! Anyway all we can all do is keep our fingers crossed everything happens perfectly for u and it will be music to your ears!




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