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I feel like my PND is back Lock Rss

Hi all, I am brand new to this forum (never posted before). I really don't know where else to go. I am sorry for the long story...I have kept it as short as I can.
So my daughter is now 3...i got PND when she was 4 weeks. I knew it myself and sought help right away. I was lucky enough to get into a mother baby unit, which really helped! As she grew my PND lessened...I don't believe it ever fully went away. Through out my time I have been SO lucky to have support groups to belong to.
So towards the end of last year my husband of 15 years cheated and chose the other woman. I asked him to come back, he refused. So I moved away to a new state, a new home and a new life with my daughter (who we tried 12 years for). I only ever had complete respect for singles mums, and I do NOT mean this with any disrespect, but I never wanted to be one. I am struggling greatly with it. I greatly miss the support that came with marriage and having that other person there to lean or to ask...what do you think?
My daughter has been amazing with the move and the loss of her dad from her daily life. She has just taken to it like a duck to water.
Recently my daughter has been fighting her arvo nap, and I would normally think, ok she is of that age that they may drop it. But she LOVES her sleep...and when she gives into the nap, she wakes up happy. She will eat her dinner, we will spend the evening playing puzzles or blocks and giggling.
If she doesn't have a nap, by 5pm she has lost her ability to handle life. She wont eat dinner, she will throw huge tantrums over silly things, etc. I am at a complete loss of what to do.
I don't feel like I can talk to my mum *who I live with, another thing I am struggling with but that is a different story*. I don't feel like she gets me or the PND or even that it never really went away. I sadly don't have any support groups or even a GP (yet). I am going to get myself a GP asap as I need some help. But in the mean time what do I do for my daughter? I love her so much, but hate this feeling of wanting to run away from her. I feel like my PND has come back with vengeance.

I think first thing you need to do is get a GP and see if they can point you in the right direction with support groups etc.

Since moving have you looked into Playgroup or swimming. Something that will get you and your daughter out meeting people. Best way to make friends and get support.

With you DD not wanting her day sleep. You could try giving her dinner in the middle of the day instead of at night. At least then if she does not want to eat much for dinner at least you know she has had a good lunch. Then in the evenings try her with a snack or sandwich then when she is tired just put her to bed.

I hope that you manage to find some great support and make some great friends that can help you.

Good luck.


My advice is don't fight with your daughter over the arvo sleep she will drop it in her own time and don't beat yourself up about whether she is eatung dinner every night without fail if she is too tired to eat out her to bed she won't starve you are doing everything great don't sweat the small stuff. Invest your energy in having fun with your beautiful daughter 3 is such a beautiful age. Take her to the park, on walks, start kindagym or swimming whatever you can afford and have a coffee and playdate with neighbours and friends as often as you can. Children have the most fun enjoying life playing with family and friends and best of all that doesn't cost a dime ???? And remember you're doing an amazing job!!
I was diagnosed with depression last winter and although i was anti drugs, i did go on a low dose of citalopran (sp!?) And it really really helped me.
It just helped with the enthisiasm to go out and meet other mums (we had recently moved too), and generally enjoying life more.
And although we do our best by our kids, it doesn't matter how often people say how well we are doing, if the black dog is around then it is hard to believe. If u haven't watched the black dog youtube video it is worth a watch.
As for the sleep issue, i would push through and try and drop it. At that age they need between 9 & 12 hours. Our three yr old sleeps 12 hours, but has no day sleep. We dropped it when he started not wanting to go to bed at his usual time in the evening if he had a day sleep. That was around six months ago, and if we are home he has milk and a rest on the sofa for an hour or so, and then he is keen to go for the afternoon. On the days he has kindy, sometimes he has really had enough by four, so we have an early bath and tea and sometimes asleep by five - morning starts at six.
I hope some of this helps, try not to beat yr self up too much, its not surprising yr feeling down you are having a really tough time. My best friend is a single mum and i have the greatest admiration for her as it is bloody tough sad
Hugs Xx







Thank you everyone for your replies.
I feel like I posted this and disappeared...sorry. I just haven't had a chance till now to reply.
First off, thanks for the support and really helpful words. I guess I am "fighting" her to nap as she just loves sleep. When she does nap she will happily for a couple of hours and wake up happy, and still go to bed at normal time. I guess when she doesn't nap like I said her ability to deal with life is just not there.

We have joined a playgroup here and she goes to daycare 2 days a week (for her social and so I can look for a job..and get some sanity). I really like the idea of giving her dinner at lunch and vise versa...it will help my silly brain knowing that she has eaten healthy during the day...thanks for that tip!!

Thanks little egg, I was on anti depressants when I first got my PND...have since dropped them as I WAS doing well..until life got turned upside down and inside out. Its really hard trying to be the single mum when I have been a pair for more than 15 years. I will most def check out that video..thank you!
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