i hate how my in-laws think that when we are there at their house he is exclusively their grandson and no longer my son.
as soon as i get there he is snatched out of the car seat and not put down until we leave at night. when i'm there i'm told "u get him all the time so its our turn" doesnt matter if he's crying or needs a feed. i try to do it and they say " i can do it". they are just so rude.
if he is put down to sleep they put him all the way up the hall where he cant be heard if he cries when he wakes up coz mil wants him to sleep in her room. *rolls eyes* although there is a bedroom right next to the lounge (partners old room) where we can hear him f he cries. but he doesnt get a chance to sleep coz everyone walks in there like every 5 minutes to "check up" on him. when visitors come to the house they just go grab baby whether he is awake or asleep so they can hold him. they play a game of pass the parcel with him but he never gets to me.
i tell my partner i dont wanna stay there all day and we cant leave too late at night coz its very cold in richmond after dark and its a 1 hour drive home to bankstown so i tell him to tell them we are leaving a set time. but we always leave 2 hours after that when we either one of us is too tired to drive which i'm always the one that ends up driving (coz i can stay awake when i'm tired) and its very cold at that time of night. also, baby has caught a cold thats been going around and is tired, sick and cranky. so we always get home around 10-11pm!
everytime, they nag for 2 hours before they actually let me leave to stay there overnight which i dont wanna do (we have a bad history and they are lucky i go there to let them see their grandson in the first place). i will not stay there overnight and i will not let them be alone with him for more than 1/2 hr (overprotective?) they also nag about babysitting so if they know ive got somewhere to be (and i need to leave baby with someone) i cancel because i dont want them to have an excuse to babysit (coz my mother already babysitting isnt a good enough excuse for them not to babysit).
seems like the minute we get there my partner leaves me alone with them so he can go visit his mates and doesnt come home for hours leaving me to put up with their shite (excuse my language). i feel i cant say nothing because i am there alone and my partner leaves with the car so what am i to do but sit there and bite my tongue.
they also frequently reply to my son as being fat or having fat rolls. although he is a large baby for his size and has a few creases in his arms and legs, he is far from being fat! he just has a solid build like his father and is a long/tall baby. his body weight is proportionate to his height.
they also frequently swear. my family doesnt do this and i choose to raise my son the same way. i want to raise him with the same morals, beliefs and respect for others that they obviously dont have any value in.
when i tell them they cant swear around him , especially when he is of understanding age, they tell me "he's gonna learn to not to swear down there and to swear up here so what are you going to do about it". gggrrrrr!!!! (not let him visit you obviously, is what i wished i said)
he eats solids now and i bring organic baby food with me (he eats real food at home) and tell them that he's not to eat sweet things high in sugar or any other junk food or foods highly processed with artificial junk in it. they tell me "he's gonna do it whether you like it not when he hets older". not if i make healthy food choices for him now! i had gestational diabetes and diabetes is in both of our families. my partner and i are both in high risk catagories for diabetes (our racial background and both being overweight) so i'll be damned sure to do everything i can for him not to get diabetes.
my partner and i argue every time i know we gotta go up there (we only make the effort to go up there when they ask) and i tell him what goes on and that since its his family he's gotta stand up for me. especially since i'm not strong emotionally and very shy and nervous around them. but he says he wont fight my battles for me.
i tell him that if it was my family doing it to him that i would be the one that would have to stand up and say something. he says he can stand up for himself. i say i'm not strong enough though, u gotta help me. but he doesnt care. i run his family down (which i know he doesnt like and i know i shouldnt do) beacuse my own family treat him better than they do (better than they do me!). his family run him down to the lowest and call him nasty names and this and that but he still puts up with it, god knows why. he even calls his mother a bitch and knows she is one but still it doesnt matter.
i get so angry when we fight about going up there and i get so mad i punch walls to take my anger out on something so i dont take it out on him or baby (which i would never do). i punch my hardest and end up hurting myself ( could it be another form of cutting/hurting myself which i used to do before when i was really depressed?). although i'm not actually strong enough to put a hole in the wall. i'm not an angry person by nature and i never get that angry about anything else in my life. despite that i dont have an anger problem. but when we argue about it i feel like its all out of my control and it drives me crazy.
my boyfriend says i should get over it, they have. of course they have, they werent pressured to get an abortion although the baby wasnt unplanned. they werent told how lousy of a person they think i am and how bad of a mother i would make. how my emotional status would affect my child rasing abilities and commenting on my mental state.
i left him when i was pregnant because they convinced my partner he is too young to have a child and that i trapped him into getting pregnant (so not true!!!! it was always his idea to have children and his decision on when we were trying to concieve) and totally turned him against me and my family (although he gets more love from my family than his own) and turned him into an a***hole (so unlike him!) of course my partner apologised for all of that and went back to being himself, and even after all that i let his mother come to the hospital after baby was born.
but do you think i could get an apology? i got one from his mother. many, many weeks later after and i had to ask for one. my partner told me his father wont apologise to his own family members why would he aplogise to me?
then when i wanted to take him to be baptised in my hometown which is on the qld/nsw border just after xmas since we were already up there for xmas, they kicked up the biggest stink coz we werent letting them be involved. he kept getting the idea that a christian baptism is the exact same thing as a catholic christening. i wanted to do it there coz thats where i was baptised and coz it would be performed by an old family friend who has done all the baptisms in my family. my family is religious and his family isnt so i dont know why they even care. they didnt even christen their children! but they think we appoint godparents and all that but we dont and got all angry coz we werent involving them in it.
once again they turned my partner against me and into an a***hole once again and we almost split up again. but in the end my mother and i had to explain to his stupid father (i say stupid coz it took several time for him to get that it baptism and christening isnt the same thing) that its different and that i wanted there because of reasons posted above. in the end we didnt do it coz the family friend doing it had to go to a funeral of a family member. then fil had the cheek to say to me, "he missed all that work for nothing, u didnt