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stuck in a hard spot!! Lock Rss

hey all. I'm not sure if this is the right area to post this, but here goes.
My due date for our second bub is on the 20 june. We have a 2 and a half year old boy.
My dillema is who did you decide to choose to look after your child/ other children when you went into labor?
I want my mother in law to look after our son as they live in the same appartment block, but upstairs and i feel it would be a lot less stressfull on him because they have looked after him more in the past etc. However i was talking to my sis in law this evening and she said that my father in law is coming over to look after seth while we are in hospital and then my partner will pick him up.
I was really annoyed because he had just decided apon himself that this is what is going to happen and i hadnt even discussed it with him.
Anyway my huge problem is how do i tell him that i want mother in law to look after my son and not him, without him getting upset and angry with me or taking it personally. Really looking forward to the advice and even hearing if any of you had these issues. Thanks in advance smile
Families can be difficult can't they! It sounds like you haven't yet spoken to either in law yet about the situation, apart from your sister in law. Is this right? Perhaps you could just approach your mother in law and organise with her what you would prefer to happen. Afterall, it's totally your decision what happens with your child. Hope it all goes well.

hey mumsthebestjob,
We havent really planned anything yet. But mother in law works literally 5 mins down the road. We were vaguely discussing it the other day. And i said id like seth to be here so that its not so stressful and his not running around wondering why everything is happening at once. She said that if i go when she is work to call my partner first cuz it takes him about 30 mins to get home, and then call her and she will come help me with seth. As for going through the night i just thought it would be more convenient to leave him in bed and ring mother in law upstairs. We could even hook the baby monitor up and she wouldnt have to wake him or anything. I just a little mad that my father in law (or sister in law onhis behalf) was practically telling what was going to happen. I kinda feel like i might be over reacting idk. Its good i have support from them both. Just touchy as i dont want either grandparent to feel like they arent as important as the other.
hey mummykizzle

I'm due on the 19 june! n i'm stuck in the same situation.
My mother in law lives 5mins down the road n has just assumed she will b looking after our 18month old daughter even tho we have already decided my mother will look after her.

my mum lives sbout 40mins away but we feel it's the best option as she is willing to come to us no matter wot time of the day it is, but in the case of the dragon in law (lol) if i go into labour in the middle of the night she expects us to wake our daughter n drop her off on the way to the hospital. the woman drives me nuts! she always has to have everything her way!

anyway if i was u i would just call the mother in law when u go into labour then after the babyis born just explain to the father in law that everything happened so fast and she was the closest at the time. hopefully he will understand

good luck i hope everything works out for u

Karli

If your father in aw doesn't discuss it with you then act dumb. Dont tell him when you go into labour or until its too late... unless he is staying with you of course. Might be hard to hide. It makes sense to me that your ml would be the obvious choice. that way your son is close to his home and own bed etc
i'd do what was best for your son.....

are you sure your partner has not discussed this with his dad? its just that you say that your SIL said that your partner would be able to go collect your son from FIL's - maybe he has already said something?

either way I think its a good idea to keep your FIL onside to preserve family harmony! And in case your MIL is unavailable smile

If it was me, based on what you've said, i'd make arrangements with MIL as she is your first choice. Find out if there are any days/times around your due date when she can;t be "on call" - eg appointments or work commitmetns she can't get out of.......

then call your FIL directly (avoid the SIL - she sounds like a troublmaker) and say that you are making plans for your son's care while you are in hositpial, and that you and your hubby have decided its best for your son to stay home/near home with your MIL. But that you know that your FIL would take great care of your son too, so would he mind being your back up person to call in case MIL is busy?

some may think this sounds rude...but its what i did with my inlaws and parents and it worked well...everyone knew what was going on. As it happened i went into labour at 4am so called my mum, woke her up, she drove 30mins to come to our place to care for our 18mth old who was able to stay in bed asleep an extra few hours...and i was so relieved to know DD was in good hands, i didn;t have to worry about her at all during labour. You need that peace of mind.....

good luck!
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