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Partner wants a different hospital than I want Lock Rss

Throughout our pregnancy ( I am 15 weeks) I have always told my partner that I want to go private to SJOG Murdoch. I have grown up near Murdoch have been there on numerous occasions for different things and have always had a great experience. I have had gynecological issues in the past so I want to go private so I can have the same ob the whole way through and in case something goes wrong.. I will feel comfortable being at Murdoch.. Its a great hospital with amazing doctors.

Now all of a sudden this week my partner is making me feel like a snob for choosing Murdoch, saying he wants me to go to Kalamunda Hospital (public) where he was born. And says its just as much his decision as mine. I say I need to feel comfortable and I wouldn't at Kalamunda.

I think he should be able to have input into the decision but ultimately its my choice as its my body that has to go thru it.

Sorry for the essay.
Any advice on what I should do?
Tell him when he is growing and birthing a baby he can choose where it will be born, I don't see how this is his choice at all. I doubt it is really much of an issue anyway - I'm sure Kalamunda hospital transferred all maternity services to Swan Districts a few years ago??
Wow this really surprises me. Does he want you to go to the other hospital just because he was born at that hospital?

I think you should stand your ground and birth at the hospital you pick. Im guessing you have private health insurance so the cost shouldnt be a factor.

When it comes to other parenting things its his decision too. I strongly believe when it affects you physically you get to make the decision on the way you birth, feed etc.

I would be upset if my hubby went against my wishes and tried to push me into what he wanted. I picked the hospital and I picked how I was going to feed and for how long.

Im worried next he will be telling you that you should/shouldnt breastfeed because it should be his decision too! * insert eye roll smiley*
Unless he's miraculously grown a vagina with which to birth this baby it is ultimately your choice. Pregnancy and birth is such an intense and personal experience which can be directly affected by the type of care given (just ask any woman that had a doctor who wouldn't listen to their concerns or a b!tchy midwife). So if you want to use the private hospital and can afford to then do it.


Your mind is a garden, your thoughts are the seeds,
You can grow flowers or you can grow weeds.

We have a choice of 2 hospitals, both public and both 300km away from home. DH wants me to go to the town where he grew up so his parents can see the baby, but I am going to the town I grew up as I will be living with my parents (I need to move at 25wks due to DS being 7wks prem) and if I go into labour in the middle of the night, I can leave DS sleeping with my dad in the house for him and mum will come to hosp with me.

DH will be staying home regardless of where I go for a fair while. If I go to the other town, I will be in our other house on my own, and if I go into labour will have to get DS out of bed to take him to inlaws, and then have no support at hosp. That doesn't appeal to me at all

Stick with your guns smile






Throughout our pregnancy ( I am 15 weeks) I have always told my partner that I want to go private to SJOG Murdoch. I have grown up near Murdoch have been there on numerous occasions for different things and have always had a great experience. I have had gynecological issues in the past so I want to go private so I can have the same ob the whole way through and in case something goes wrong.. I will feel comfortable being at Murdoch.. Its a great hospital with amazing doctors.

Now all of a sudden this week my partner is making me feel like a snob for choosing Murdoch, saying he wants me to go to Kalamunda Hospital (public) where he was born. And says its just as much his decision as mine. I say I need to feel comfortable and I wouldn't at Kalamunda.

I think he should be able to have input into the decision but ultimately its my choice as its my body that has to go thru it.

Sorry for the essay.
Any advice on what I should do?


To be honest if this was my DH I would tell him TOUGH!

YOU will be the one going to the appointments, YOU will be the one giving birth and YOU are the one that needs to be comfortable with your doctor and hospital.

BTW Kalamunda doesnt have a maternity ward anymore so as a PP said it would have to be Swan Districts

At 15 weeks, haven't you already had an appointment? So, does he want you to now leave that obs you have chosen and met, and go to a different hospital, where you will end up with whoever is on duty that day??? That's a bit strange. The fact that you feel comfortable in going there, is enough reason to say BUTT OUT!!! Maybe he can go to his choice of hospital to get his vasectomy in the future.

Eve75


AtMaybe he can go to his choice of hospital to get his vasectomy in the future.

How funny laugh
I think he's being rather immature, its not about being a snob - its about what you feel comfortable with and given its you going through the pregnancy and birth I'd say its your choice.

LOL at the vasectomy comment smile
SJOG is fantastic. Tell him it's about your comfort and well being, as well as your baby's. Why on earth would he even care where you give birth, if you are happy with that choice? I'm baffled. Maybe he feels a bit like his life is out of control and is trying to take it back....in a very odd way tongue
If cost isn't an issue then he really should accept your decision without question.
If the only reason he wants you to go to 'his' hospital is because that was where he was born, well, it's not really a winning arguement!
Hehe, if we did that, I'd either end up in Scotland (DF was born there) or in what is now a retirement village (for me, although most of them would probably have more clue than the midwife who delivered DS1 roll eyes ).
Thanks for the advice everyone,

Sometimes I feel like im overreacting (Its weird even though I know in my heart im not)just from the way he speaks about it. I have looked into Kalamunda and they don't have a maternity ward anymore, luckily but he still doesn't understand why im "stuck" on having Murdoch. I have private helth ins and can afford it I dont see the prob. I have my first appt next wed.

I think hes worried I will make ALL the decisions, but its a bit different to when bub is born. He makes me feel like im making it all about me. I dont think so but its my body that has to go thru it, he will be there but he will never understand.
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