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My husband and I have had 2 MC in the last 5 months...both times we fell pregnant easily. the first pregnancy was all a whirlwind..within days of finding out we were pregnant, we lost the baby. second time.... we were 10 weeks in and the U/S said only 6 weeks and then a week later our baby was gone. Needed a D&C with the second and baby has gone for testing. Doctors also sent hubby and I for full blood and chromosome testing. We were told that results would take 2-3 weeks to come back.
it's been 6 weeks today since we lost the baby. I feel like everyone around me is pregnant... I've spent the last two days with my best friends newborn. another friend announces that she's 13 weeks pregnant. I should have been announcing my pregnancy by now...it seems so unfair and scary. There are only a handful of people in our lives that know about either MC...I don't know what to say to people and really don't want everyone we know talking about it or feeling sorry for us... so we are left with trying to get on with things the best we can.
the waiting is so hard....I can't help thinking about what was wrong with the baby! or us? are we ok? will we be able to have a baby? what will we have to go through to get there?

I would really love to hear from anyone else who has been through repeat miscarriages / testing for MC/ pregnancy success after multiple MC. Please help!

Sorry for your losses sad I have 2 kids 9 & 22mths, when DS was 8mths old I found out I was pregnant, same day I started bleeding & a mc followed. We were completely devastated especially after having 2 perfect pregnancies & healthy kids having a mc never entered my mind. It took 3wks for the mc to be complete & 6wks for my period to return & then my cycles were all over the place. DH & I were completely out of sync so catching ovulation was almost impossible. Then in Oct last year I found out I was pregnant again, this time I was more worried, excited but didn't want to get my hopes up. Initially the hcg levels were low but then doubled so they weren't so worried then at 5wks they couldn't detect a heart beat so told me to come back again in 2wks. That time past & I still felt pregnant, thought everything would be good only to be told the sac was still growing but bub wasn't & to expect another mc. But because the sac kept showing growth & I had no bleeding they kept me hanging for another 2wks. I was & still am completely heartbroken. I was 9wks & requested to have medical management & had tabs inserted to help things along faster. 24hrs later I passed everything at home, then rushed by ambulance with uncontrollable bleeding. The following week I needed a D&C as there was still tissue remaining. Since then I have friends that have announced pregnancies, my sister had a baby & I am left here thinking are we ever going to be blessed with another? The surgeon sent off the tissue to be tested but everything came back clear. So we keep getting told both times have just been bad luck. DH has told me he doesn't want to try for anymore, he thinks we are in a good place etc. He knows I am not on contraception so I am still hopeful that we get the timing right & our lucky last will complete our family. I wish you all the best with your ttc journey & hope you get your bub soon xx
So sorry for your losses. I have a nearly 2 year old then last year I had 3 mc. My husband and I had testing after my 2nd which didnt really show anything. My husbands homocystine was slightly high, my vitamin d was a little low. So we fixed that and then had a 3rd mc where the baby had an extra set of chromosones where they think 2 sperm fertilised 1 egg, so nothing you can do to avoid that. 2 mc in a row is really quite common, so chances are there is nothing wrong with you, it is just bad luck. They are telling me the same thing for 3 mc. In a way I wish there was something wrong that could be fixed. I will be trying again in a few months. I didnt really take time out to grieve and just kept getting pregnant so after the 3rd mc it all kind of hit me and I am dealing with it now. I also seem to get pregnant really easy.
I wish both of you good luck for health pregnancies.
Thank you so much for your replies...it is of great comfort knowing that someone out there is listening and has been through a similar experience. I can't thank you both enough for sharing your experiences with me. We have only told a handful of close friends and family about either MC... so I'm finding it hard to just trying and get on with things as if nothing happened. Did you guys tell people? who? how long after? part of me hates that MC is still not really spoken about and the other part of me can't bear to put it out there and tell people...it is just so personal...I don't want people talking about us or our situation. I've got about a week and a half until the test results are due....can't seem to get my mind off them.
With my first mc no one but my family knew I was pregnant. I ended up telling work when the mc started so I could have some time off, I only took two days, but for the rest of the week I only came into work when I had to for particular things. I told one or two friends because they were pregnant and I couldnt face their baby showers. The second time quite a few people knew I was pregnant and I had 2.5 weeks from picking up that I was proably going to mc before they confirmed it, because my hcg levels kept rising. I told some of my friends weeks later because I felt like I needed to explain why I wasn't out and about seeing them. The third time I had told quite a lot of my friends because I had seen the heart beat and thought it was all fine. I ended up texting them before I saw them so I didnt have to do it in person.
I think you need to tell the people who will be supportive. I have also tried to talk about it a bit, especially after the second mc and when I was pregnant again because I hate how you are not supposed to talka bout it and it feels like you should be ashamed. Plus people have no idea how to react and most people say something dumb, ie it was for the best and then completely ignore it because they dont want to upset you. I kind of feel like I am doing a bit of a service by talking about it and educating people so hopefully if it happens to them or someone they know they wont feel as alone as I did.
Hi

first pregnancy
i have gone through something similar. we fell pregnant straight away. we chose to go private so got in for a early app. at the time we where 9 weeks everything looked "normal", we still only told the parents. we then went back for our second app at 11 weeks everything was "normal" so we then told everyone. then went back for our third ap at 14 weeks and the baby had died. we where devastated. had a D&C the next night. it was horrible but we had all of our friends around.

second pregnancy
the same thing happened. went in at 6 weeks "normal" then in at 8 weeks "normal" then back at 11 weeks and the same thing happened. the baby had died. and we had just told close friends and my boss. and the same we where devastated. our OB sent some tissue of for "testing" for chromosomes and it came back that i have whats called a balanced translation with chromosomes 1 and 21. this is very rare and i could be the only person in the world to have this sad

we have had 2 other pregnancy with the same problems. and done 2 rounds of IVF with no success. so know we are doing another round of IVF but with a egg doner. so pretty much my eggs are no good.

hopefully you will go on to have a healthy baby. these things can be really hard. it is important to tell those that well help you through the sad times.
Thanks Sarah and Jess for sharing more of your stories. We have told our parents and a few other very close friends. My boss knows and has been so amazing...she has just about been my greatest support. My very close knit work team which consists of a few girls knows...which only happened because I needed help getting through morning sickness. It has worked out well because they have been a great support and I have been able to avoid most people that don't know until I feel like I can cope with it a bit better.
My two best friends have both had one miscarriage each in the last 12 months. if it wasn't for one of them miscarrying first and share her story with me...and me researching heaps of info to try and support her...I would have been completely clueless and really struggled more than I have been in coming to terms with our loses. this friend has just given birth to her first baby. She doesn't know about the miscarriages....I wanted to tell her..... but just couldn't do it when it came down to it... she is dealing with enough with a new born and has a very gossip prone mum... so just felt it would cause me more stress to tell her.
my other best friend know... she has a 2 year old. she has been amazing... we stayed up all night talking about our experiences last week and since then! I am starting to feel a bit better.
I guess eventually I would like to be able to tell more people in our lives.. I would like to help others get through it all too and know that they are not alone.... I just feel like I can't do that while I'm stuck right in the middle of it myself. I don't have a happily ever after right now, I don't have any answers, I don't know what the future holds for us or how I'm going to get through it.
I can't stand it be around other pregnant woman... I've just been avoiding. any friends and family who have noticed my absence the last few months have been told a bit of a lie about me being sick with low blood pressure and fainting. it seems to have worked.
I wish you girls lots of love and luck in your further pregnancies. I'm so scared of falling pregnant again. I felt worried and anxious the whole time with my second pregnancy. Every day that I got through ok was such a relief.... I don't know how I'm going to get through the next.
we saw a heart beat with the 2nd even though I was bleeding a little. I tried to convince myself that everything would be ok ...a week later the heartbeat was gone.
Stupid public holidays mean that my test results are delayed...at least one more week till we hopefully get some answers and help.

please keep in touch and let me know how you are both going xxx
I fell in a massive heap after the 3rd mc and am now having counselling. Wish someone had suggested it after my second. I avoided most of my friends because they were pregnant and really shut myself off from the world. So if you feel you need it definitely look into counselling. It is so much harder when you have more then 1 mc. I will be ttc in another couple of months. I hate waiting and want to get pregnant now. I know I am going to be very anxious with the next pregnancy so trying to get everything in my life in good order now. I also get very bad morning sickness, even with the mc. Good luck.
I found that everyday was different. one day your getting along really good then the next day your in a mess. but it does get better.

keep us informed of how you go with your test results. just try and relax and have some "you" time. go and get a massage or something you like. for me if im feeling down i tend to go shopping and spend loads of money we don't have.

Sarah do you think that having counselling helped?
yes I think so, it made me realise I was blaming myself and punishing myself for the mc's when I really had no control over them. Also i found my dh couldn't deal with my sadness, he was ok for a couple of weeks but they didnt affect him so much so he couldnt understand what I was going through.
I think that you girls have been my therapy...it is so good to talk to someone who has been through the same thing...I feel like no one else can really understand. I read your posts and can relate to so much of what you girls are saying.
definitely good days and bad days...today I'm feeling pretty shit...long day at work, then groceries...then long trip home (ate a whole packet of burger rings and bottle of coke on the way home..and now feeling slightly sick!) I'm now soaking in the bath as I write this.. hoping to start the weekend off a little more stress free.
My husband has been finding it hard to deal with my mood swings and unpredictable emotions...one moment I'm fine, the next I'm feeling so terribly sad. he is getting anxious waiting for the test results..we both r...even mum asked me today when they'd be back....been such a long couple of week. I've noticed myself getting more irritable as it gets closer too..and yet I can't seem to do anything about it. I feel like he thinks I should be back to normal...I'm not really sure what normal is anymore..sometimes I can't even stand for him to touch me...other times I just want to be snuggled up all day. how frustrating!
just feeling miserable tonight...it's so unfair. I'm so scared that we are never going to get there at all...and worried that if we do...how our marriage is going to survive the journey.
I really think you should consider counselling - I hope you dont mind me saying. What you describe are all normal feelings after a couple of mc's, but that doesn't mean that you wont benefit from some help getting through it. The mc have had a massive impact on my relationship with my husband. They really didnt effect him that much and he couldnt understand why I was so upset for so long. I was upset with him because he wasnt there for me and also cos he wasnt upset that our babies died.
I was reluctant to try counselling because I didnt think it would change anything and I thought it was normal for me to be upset (which it was). But I had no knowledge of how to deal with something so painful. Because you husband is also going through it and has his own feelings to deal with he may not be able to fully support you through it. Also friends might be good at the start but it is difficult for them to understand unless they have been through it and I really think having 1 mc is different to having 2 or more, at least for me it is. Plus they may be worried about upsetting you or hurting your feelings.
The other thing you should consider is how you are going to get through the anxiety of another pregnancy. It is not good for you or the baby if you are really anxious or depressed while pregnant. So getting your head in order now and arranging some supports for when you do fall pregnant again is really important. xxx
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