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Hey ladies! First I wanna say please dont read this is you have a ceaserian coming up, I don't want to make anyone nervous.

You may remember I booked one due to my last labour not going well, and we were all wanting to avoid a repeat episode. I was confident about it all going smoothly... but this is what happened...

To start with the spinal blocked would not go in at first and took ages, with lots of locals despite the anaesthesist being very good... my scoliosis caused probs. They found a surprising 'mess' from my last c section, they said they couldn't believe how much so... the scar tissue was making access very difficult. My son was stuck and needed forceps delivery and special care so I didn't get to see him. Then, the spinal wore off...I could feel the surgeons hand inside me, it was so horrible. So then I was put under GA as they still had lots to do. I was considering a tubal ligation but because my uterus is so damaged I cannot carry anymore children, so that was done to avoid the risk. I lost a lot of blood and almost needed a transfusion.

So needless to say im pretty upset. I mean im over the moon with my beautiful 2 boys... birth is supposed to be amazing but both times its been so traumatic. I didn't see my baby for 4 hours, they were going to make sure I had immediate skin to skin contact before it went wrong. And its a bit sad knowing I'll never be able to carry another child... I know how lucky I am, I am sooo blessed.... but I think its ok to be a bit upset too right?
You are certainly right to grieve! Birth trauma is something so hard to get over. I had things go wrong in my labour too which I am still finding hard to get over. Sorry you had such a rough time sad

A big congratulations of your bubba!!!
CONGRATULATIONS! In hindsight its best your taken care of and are well to look after your boys.The adhesions on your uterus must have been really bad for that to have happened. sad

I experienced a similar situation with my first child. I needed a csection after 72 hours of natural labour. BUT when the anesthesiologist went to administer the Epi he punctured my spine and I had Cerebral Membrane Fluid leak out my back for 3hours while they waited to take me to the theatre. I was complaining of a severe headache and was vomiting but every medical staff ignored me and my symptoms and said "your young 21, every women feels like their dying" its all in your head!

Anyway since they left me so long me and my baby were basically touch and go. I was slipping in and out of consciousness. When they were ready to take me to theatre they said id need more drugs to numb me. But this time the block went up causing a respitory and cardiac arrest. I knew I was dying and my child was still in me. ALL my senses were failing and before I blacked out and took my last breath I managed to put my hands on my tummy.

It was 2 days before I was out of the acoma but it felt like only 3 seconds had passed. I was in icu and hospital for 2weeks. Baby survived but needed care. 13 years have passed and I only was able to emotionally deal with getting pregnant again 2yrs ago. I was petrafied as I was sick for 2 yrs after DD1 was born. I couldn't walk, breast feed or hold my baby. I had been robbed. Everyone in my family had touched and held her before me which is what hurt the most.

Anyway when you experience trauma you have every right to feel the way you do. I never dealt with my emotions and bottled it up. It hit me all those years later when I had the courage to get preggers again.
Thanks guys smile His name is Abraham, a little different but suits the old man gaze he has lol.
Little Diva I'm sorry you went through that.... Whats scary time.

Im struggling a bit because I keep thinking I can't even try again to have a special birth experience. I am seeing the surgeon again, I'd like to know why the last hospital didn't fore warn me... They kept telling me this time that there was a huge mess left behind last time, maybe they didn't know but if they did they could have saved me a lot of trouble.

Alien squid, you are right.... I think I might have a chat to my gp about a counsellor... I have a great DS and don't wanna be blue too long for his sake.

And to anyone who had a hiccup or hard time with birth, I send my love and hugs... I agree it's ok to feel a little sadness amongst all of that joy xoxox

Take care xo
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