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elective c section for first time mum ? Rss

Hi,

I am a FTM and am currently 38 weeks and really want an elective c section.

My reasons for wanting an elective c section:
- I am terrified of needing an assisted delivery and/or an episiotomy/tear and stitches. For some reason which i struggle to explain i feel like this would be like being violated.
- i have a history of miscarriages (6 in total) all in the first trimester but this makes me mistrust my body.
- Baby has a big head (currently measuring 42 weeks) and is in the 99th percentile (all of mu husband's family have had huge heads at birth)
- Baby has a small abdomial circumference (measuring just above the 10th percentile) so although my OB hasn't said anything i am concerned it could be an IUGR baby as its femur is normal sized and HC and BPD are both above 95th percentile.
- i had to have a colposcopy during my second trimester and cried all the way through it - it wasn't painful but i felt violated and struggled to have sex again for weeks afterwards.

I am currently struggling to sleep and have nightmares about childbirth - not the pain, just having my legs in stirrups and having the ventouse used on me or being stitched up following a large tear. I have spent the last fortnight petrified, crying and trying to avoid seeing anyone as i can't pretend to be ok anymore. The only person i have spoken to about this is my husband, i tried to bring it up with one of my OB's but she simply we can try and avoid a ventouse and stitches but if you need them you need them - which i didn't find very reassuring.

I am convinced that due to my past miscarriages, the baby's large head and my inability to relax that i am highly likely to tear badly and/pr end up with an assisted delivery. I am convinced i will need stitches anyway so would prefer to have them in my abdomen. I am aware of the longer physical recovery time but feel that psychological recovery if i need a ventouse/stitches etc will be fair worse for me.

I am too ashamed to tell my mum, family or even OB that i want a c section as my mum hates any form of medical intervention and there is a lot of stigma attached to having a c section. I guess i am just seeking some advice as i don't really know what to do now or if an elective c section is even an option for me.
Firstly congratulations on your pregnancy!
Second I am not a doctor, nurse or midwife, so everything I am about to say is my own opinion and advice.
Thirdly, if you want an elective c-section you need to tell someone, preferably a medical someone, and start having those arrangements made. I have never had c-sections, only vaginal for both my children. It is norma to feel nervous and anxious before giving birth, I think that goes for both natural, or planned c-section.
But if you do not tell someone that this is what you want, you will be left to go into labour naturally or induced. Doctors and midwives are not mind readers they are not going to know that this is of huge importance to you unless you let them know.
You do not need to feel ashamed or embarrassed about your choice, this is your mental well being and your baby at stake here. You are the mother, you get to make the decision for what happens with your body. Do not worry what other people think, all you need to worry about is your beautiful healthy baby, bonding with him/her and being a wonderful happy mum.
Hi,

I agree with what Cas has said, you really need to talk in depth about your fears with your MW or Ob. They might be happy to organise a csection or organise someone you can speak with about your fears, which might be all you need. Your anxiety sounds like its taking over & that's not healthy for you or baby.

I hope which ever birth you have you are happy with the way it turns out.



Hey, Congratz on your pregnancy. smile I agree with the other ladies. This is just my experience but I had a c-sec with my first child (she was breech so I couldn't have her naturally) and more recently I have just had a VBAC and I've gotta say, everything about the VBAC was better than the cesarean. After surgery I was in so much pain I was terrified at the prospect of having another child and I ended up with a serious infection in my uterus and then developed PND. When I had my VBAC I was worried about all of the things you have mentioned, I hate to be touched; especially when I'm sick or in pain and I also tore in 3 places which hurt of course but I healed up so much faster, I felt that I could care for my child better this time around and I didn't have to stay in hospital as long. Don't let other people make you feel ashamed if you need a c-sec, either way you will be birthing a child and there's no easy way about that but whether you trust your body or not (and I can understand why you don't after what you've been through) it is built to do this job and even with a big headed bubba you'd be amazed at how far you can stretch. Also you don't have to be on your back with stirrups on your feet. Unless there's a need to stay in bed you should be able to shower or move around. Definitely discuss it in detail with your doctors and stop trying to self diagnose. Google is bad for people who are already nervous. tongue Good luck with everything and I hope it all works out whatever you choose to do.
Congratulations! I'm also not a doctor, nurse or midwife so as somebody else said - this is merely advice stemming from my personal experience having a Caesarian for my first baby.

Everybody who hasn't had one thinks that a Caesar is the easy way of giving birth - it's not. It was a very traumatic experience for me. The epidural wouldnt work so they ended up putting me under a general anaesthetic. I missed out on the entire birthing experience and afterwards I felt cheated and sad about that. My baby spent his first 2 hours of life in a blanket because I asked to be the first one to hold him, so we missed on out that initial bonding time whilst I was recovering from surgery. Because of this, my milk never came in and I wasn not able to breastfeed which was something I desperately wanted to do. In addition, the days following the birth, I was in a lot of pain, drugged up with pain relief and felt disconnected from my baby and those around me.

Don't forget that this is MAJOR surgery you are talking about. Putting aside the risks involved in any surgery, the recovery is sooooooooo much longer than a natural delivery. You can't carry or lift anythihng, drive, have sex or even sneeze properly for the 6 weeks following. I am about to have my second baby this year and I am so desperate to have a sucessful VBAC this time, because I don't want to be hindered by recovery in looking after my baby (and other child). I'm prepared for another caesar if it comes to that, but its certainly not my first preference.

I'm not trying to talk you out of the caesar if that's what you really want, I just want you to understand that this is not the easy way out. My advice would be to talk to your doctors or midwives about your fears and see if there is anything they can do to calm your mind. Also have you written a birth plan? In your birth plan you can stipulate exactly how you want to give birth. I have already written one this time around, and have stated no episiotomy or medical intervention, unless baby is in distress and is absolutely necessary to intervene. Tell them what pain relief you want to try, which position you want to be in, and to do external, intermittant feotal monitoring. Just be aware and willing to change this plan if things don't go as you would like on the day. The doctors are there to get your baby out in a way that is the safest way for both you and your baby.

Its normal to be a bit scared and clueless for your first baby, I know I was!!! If you pregnancy has been smooth sailing and you are considered a low-risk pregnancy, it is far better for both you and your baby to at least try for a natural delivery, and leave a caesar as your backup option. smile Best of luck with your decision and with the birth.
Has anyone heard from LMK16?

I wonder how she went?

Chelle, Pth,
DD 2006, DS 2008, DS 2012, DS 2013
Baby #5 due November 2016.

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