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should I ? Rss

i would like to have anothre child no4 but hubby but so keen i have even considerd just stopping taking the pil l& not telling him . should i be so sneaky? i just turned 39 so not much time left TICK TICK

mum of 3 boys aged 11, 13 and 14

Hi VKW

If you really want a 4th child badly enough, my advice is to sit your hubby down and talk seriously about how much you want another child and give him the opportunity to say why he is not so keen. Hopefully you will be able to reach an agreement of some sort.

I thought very briefly about not taking the pill once (as I wanted a baby and he wanted to wait) and throw caution to the wind so to speak but my hubby would have been extremely upset with me if I had done that. I doubt he would have trusted me with contraception again. I am glad we waited because we both weren't ready at that stage.

Good luck with whatever you both decide.

4 lovely munchkins DD 10/03, DD 03/05, DS 10/06 &

I strongly believe that it is a mutual decision that must be reached by both parents. Your husband has equal say in the size of his family and amount of children he fathers. The last thing you would want is a child born out of deception. He may very well be over the moon if you did fall pregnant, but is it worth the risk? However, the yearning of a woman to have more children is something that a man should take seriously too. Like ashleesmum said, express your side clearly, but listen carefully to his opinion, too. Men have different ways of looking at these things, especially if they are the 'breadwinner' of the family, and they tend to think of the long term, while we like to think of the newborn baby smell and the chubby little arms etc!!
I replied to this because this happened to a couple that we know. The wife went off birth control secretly and then started taking Clomid (fertility drug) to fall pregnant. Her husband was dead set against more children (they had 2 - boy and girl). Well, she did fall pregnant.....with twins!! (true!) Of course it all came out then that she was not only off the pill, but taking fertility drugs and things were not good. Her husband had a very hard time accepting it all, and had instantly doubled his family. It's pretty risky I think, but I do sympathise with your yearning! Good luck!

Domestic Goddess Mum of Four!

yeas i really do know that i will resolve this issue soon

mum of 3 boys aged 11, 13 and 14

discussed with dh last nite & he sais we can give it some serious consideration

mum of 3 boys aged 11, 13 and 14

Hi there,

With 6 children of my own and no. 7 on the way now, I am definately not one to put someone off having another baby.

If you speak to people with 4 or more children they will mostly say the same thing. Baby no. 3 makes a big difference to the family. As you are probably aware. However baby 4 or 5 doesn't make as big an inpact. (talking financially, workwise etc)

Keep in mind the big differences it will make though like having to change to a different type of vehicle.

Hope everything all goes well for you and hope to maybe hear that no.4 is in the making.
Barbara
SO glad to see you might be making some progress and things might be going your way. Like Barbara said, number 3 is really the biggest change, as it was for us, and number 4 isn't as much of an impact if you are set up with a car, big enough space etc. All the best with your debate!!

Domestic Goddess Mum of Four!

Hi there,

I discussed with my partner at least 5 years ago that I would want #3, it was always we will see. I had a IUD after my youngest son was born and had it removed in April. I had warned him months, weeks and days prior that if he didnt want no more children he could do something about it. He didnt. I kept telling him when I was ovulating and to no avail I fell pregnant in June. He used to say "either way he didnt mind". Though to friends he would say "No Way!". When I told him I think he was in shock but he seems ok now.
It is definetly something to discuss though. Good Luck
Kathy

Kathy,VIC,Josh 8, Alex 7, Michael 1

hi kathy my pack of pills is about to run out so i might do whst u did tell him that its up to him to do something about it if he doesnt want more kids

mum of 3 boys aged 11, 13 and 14

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