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falling out of love Rss

I am a new mother expecting twins at the end of July 2004 and we found out i was pregnant 2 months after my husband left for the navy.I am a happy mother-to-be and my husband is just as excited as I am, but lately i have been questioning my love for him. Since I have been pregnant i have discovered what it is to be loved unconditionally and i have been having doubts about wether i am still in love with my husband.He is due back any day soon.I have been feeling very distant from him. Could this be hormones or just a case of boredom in our relationship? I dont want to tell him because he has been the most supportive husband in the world.Help.

Jay, Auckland, twin boys 30.6.04

Hi Jay,

I don't think you should do anything rash. Wait till your husband comes home and you can spend some time together and really talk. It could be your hormones, but chances are they are just bringing your true feelings to the surface. Maybe there are other issues that you need to think about or address in your relationship. Being pregnant is tough on your body and your mind, reach out to your husband and see what sort of response you get.

I sincerely hope all goes well for you. Look after yourself and think about your precious babies on the way.

Michelle
I can't say if it's your hormones or not, but I can tell you that I had that problem with my last pregnancy. I pulled away from my husband & felt that I didn't love him anymore. I tried to hide it but he knew something was wrong & eventually I told him. He was obviously hurt, but wasn't prepared to give up on me. I'm glad he didn't because I know now that for me it was hormones & I could have lost him. That was 2 1/2 years ago & we're now having our 3rd (& last) baby.

I agree with Michelle that you shouldn't do anything rash, talk to your husband & maybe he can help you sort out how you feel. Good luck, & I hope everything goes well for you both & your babies.

Sam

Sam, mum to 3 girls,brisbane

i agree with bensam, i think many women go through something similiar when they are pregnant as our bodies begin to focus so fully on our babies and tend not to leave enough left over for us to focus on others.

with our 2 of our last 3 babies i have had similiar thoughts and feelings and came very close to ending it all, but luckily i have a truely wonderful man who god only knows why he has stuck around!

give it time and just relaxe, not having hubby home could also be another reason why ur feeling the way you do.

goodluck smile

sahm to 5 midgit circus freaks

hey ladies
thanks for your replies, until now I have kept all my feelings to myself, but it was great to get it all off my chest. My hubbie and I were able to email each other and even though i thought I still sounded the same he must have picked up that I was starting to distance myself and out of the blue he emailed me a very romantic email, which basically said that he felt I was falling out of love with him, but no matter what he still loved me and forever would and I was reminded of what qualities made me fall in love with him in the beginning. SO thank you for your support and advice it was nice to know Im not the only one in the world who has ever felt like this.

Jay, Auckland, twin boys 30.6.04

i'd wait til the baby is born i tried to leave my fiance every week while i was preggas my emotions were all over the place. wait til after the baby is born. dont be silly and leave on your feelings while preggas.

Narelle, Eilish 5th june 2002 TTC since dec 2002

Hi,

My husband has been away overseas for a year over 2 deployments with the army. I felt that I thought I was falling out of love with him and that he had abandoned me just a few months after our wedding. It was not his choice to go. It was really helpful talking to a Padre through the defence forces or even a councillor at DCO (Defence Community Organisation). This is a really common thing to be feeling when your husband is sent away for work and it's even harder being pregnant and all alone. Sometimes it feels safer to "distance yourself completely" from the relationship rather than feel alone and abandonded and even resentful. But there is support out there. I'm not saying that this is what you are going through, just offering another possible cause. Your husband sounds wonderful and I'm sure (if it's what you want) that after he gets back, in your own time, you'll fall madly in love again gasp)

QLD, due 20 Aug. 2004

Oops - sorry Jay - I didn't realise when I posted you are in New Zealand. I'm sure that they would have similar support services for defence wives over there too.

QLD, due 20 Aug. 2004

Hi Jay

I know the feeling! I had twins at the start of the year (my first) and once they were born and i was home I started having the same feelings - I talked it over with my hubby and he said he didn't want to lose me or the boys. I think having twins adds a lot of extra stress to the relationship, and brings and underlying feelings to the top.

Email me if you wanna talk more - Lizcam@xtra.co.nz
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