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Casual Relationship leads to pregnancy Lock Rss

I have just found out I'm pregnant from a fairly casual relationship (on and off for about 6 months) and I want to keep the baby. I'm prepared to be a single mother, but I definately want the father involved in the child's life if he wants to be.

How can I encourage this without the father feeling trapped? How do I let him know that I want support (emotional and financial) for the baby only, and that he isn't locked into a emotional relationship with me and won't be paying any of my own bills? How do I get in contact with people in the same position?

Also, I'm mid 20's and telling my parents I was pregnant was really hard. Neither of them think that I'm ready to have a child, and that I should have a termination. How can I explain to them that I know this is the right decision for me?

Your advice and personal stories are greatly appreciated! grin Thank you!

My friends (the few I've told) are not only VERY supportive, but are EXTREEMLY happy for me smile I have a good support network through them, and I know I'm going to have to rely on them alot. What is the best way to tell them to back off when I'm feeling smothered without hurting their feelings?

Miss C, NSW, bub due June '06

hey miss c,
I started off in a similar situation to you in regrads to the father. After telling him that I was pregnant I made it very clear to him that I was doing it with or without him but that I would love for him to be involved then left him to think about it. About a month later I asked him if he had made a decision,(A month seemed like a very long time to be in suspense!) and he told me he didn't want to be involved at all, he would pay his way but he didn't want to be a dad. I was suprised at how much that actually hurt me, I thought I was fully prepared for him to say that. After alturnativly (sp?) fighting and not talking I heard through the grape vine that his friends had been telling him that I got preg on purpose. After more fighting and time apart he has decided he does really want to be involved and we are working on building a working parent to parent relationship. Hey it only took 4 months
Now the big long story was kinda to let you know what worked and what didn't. My advice would be to let him know where you stand and give him space to come to grips with it himself (make sure you put a resonable time line on the space so you both know where you stand). The biggest thing I found was the fact it takes them alot longer to accept it, we have this baby inside and its with us 24/7, to them its just a concept they have been told about, it makes it harder to deal I think.

Sorry for the absurdly long reply I hope it helps

danielboy born 3/3/6

Hi Mel C
Mel if you truly want this baby, then do it. I have had a very similar thing happen to me and you can survive it won't be easy but you can do it. I have erased my story twice since i started this message to you because there are so many things that could happen in the next nine months. Together or apart you will have ups and downs, just remember at the end of your journey, the birth of your healthy little baby will be one you never forget. Looking at my 9yr old today, it was all worth it. Good luck to you and your bub
Leeanne
To Miss C,

I am on 21 and when i told my parents that i was pregnant they to wanted me to terminate but give them time. Just stay strong to where you stand and they will support you. It took mine a month or so before they supported me. Now my parents couldn't be more happier.

When it comes to friends. I found that just being honest with them about how your feeling they normally understand. If they are true friends they will know this is a tough time for you and at times you will need your space.

hOPE i could help.

Stacie
i have been there a couple of times and i think the best way to deal with it is tell him you would like him to be apart of his childs life but the choice is him, and that maintenance can be worked out so he is happyy with it, but i think don't bring up the maintenance issuse unless he does, there are a few differant ways that maintenance can be done so that everyone is happy
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