Huggies Forum

Switch to Nappy-Pants

for toilet training!

Learn more

aggressive 19 month old Rss

My wee girl has always been physical. Lately she has started running over to hit me when I say no to anything. Today at a birthday party the 1 year old came over for her food and she pushed him over. Then pulled a little girl over twice. We've started using time out and saying no hitting. Hitting hurts. I felt so ashamed today. I left the party and cried all the way home. Is this normal? Anyone out there dealing with this too? Just looking for some reassurance.
Some kids just are more inclined to behave physically; I think you've made the right choice with a non-physical consequence rather than e.g. a smack (which would reinforce that its an acceptable, normal behaviour). I'm sure other mums will understand; hopefully as she gets older and understands more, it'll become easier for you!
My little guy started doing the same thing at around that age and I was ashamed, embarrassed and I left Playgroup in tears more than once. Like yourself, I looked into it a fair bit at the time and discovered that it is actually quite normal. It's a combination of a lack of language ability but they also don't have the cognitive development to understand why people and things aren't exactly the way they want them to be. It's a very egocentric age.
My approach has always been to hold my little ones hands, look him in the eyes and let him know that hands are not for hitting, mummy is not for hitting, we don't push our friends ... etc etc. I always try to remain calm and show sympathy to any other children caught in the crossfire (an apologised to their parents). There is no point getting angry with them because it's all part of the learning process. They're not being naughty, they're actually acting in an age appropriate way that requires us to guide them and teach them what is acceptable.
My son is now 2.5 years old and he does still occasionally hit out at myself and other kids but things have improved dramatically. I find that it happens most when he is getting tired these days whereas initially it was as soon as any other child dared to enter his personal space.
Hang in there, mate. Even knowing it's normal didn't really help to relieve my embarrassment when this happened but it helped to know that there wasn't something wrong with my little guy and that, with guidance, it would eventually pass.
Good luck x
My son is 19mths and if he hits me or does something wrong I tell him no, he usually starts to cry and reaches for a cuddle. I don't want to encourage the behaviour by hugging him when he's done something wrong so I sit him on the floor in front of me and tell him when he has calmed down he will get a cuddle. When it's all done I tell him what he has done wrong and ALWAYS use the exact same words each time it happens so he eventually realises which words go with which actions, so he can choose between doing a good thing or a bad thing. Lots of praise for good things is a must so don't let the bad overwhelm the good.
My son occasionally may hit either my husband or me. Every time he does this, I try to explain to him that this behaviour is unacceptable. I'm sure he has no idea of what acceptable is, but you have to start somewhere. Also, every time he does this I would ask him why did you do this. HIs answer was always 'I don't know', always, up until recently when he started responding with 'I'm playing'.

This is not much, but I still consider it as the improvement. Now, I need to keep talking that playing in such a way is still unacceptable. My point, you have to do a lot of talking. Eventually, all this talk will get to your bub's head, just be patient.
My little one who is nearly 2 used to and still does occasionally do the same thing,
It is a very delicate time. Children always try to test their parents. See how far they can take us. We do not want to think that our children can become conniving. And when children actually start to do this, we must understand that it is not coming from an innocent place and remember to speak about it sternly. If it is off limits, then it must be clearly communicated, with reasons and all. It should be treated sensitively. Any encouragement will be received well. So positive reinforcements for the tiny observations you make during that conversation will steer the child into understanding the depth of his/her act.
Hi. I hope you and your baby are fine. Yes, it is totally normal. It is amazing how every kid gives their parents something to worry about all the time. Don't worry. The parents at the party know what the situation is. I'm sure they must have gone through it too one way or another. Don't be so sad. This happens and it is completely normal. children at this age to get a little fussy. My son gives people a hard time too. He only likes some people and would be okay with them. The others, he just can't stand. It gets embarrassing when others want to hold him. He would cry in their face point at me. But I know this will pass. You need to know this too. Good luck with the little cutie.
It's common but also frightening when it does! It seems like your little one is testing boundaries just like my first did at that age!
Hey. I had a similar situation. To me the psychologist has told or said that some degree of impacts and biting is quite normal for kids. This does not mean that you should ignore it, of course. Make sure that your kid knows that aggressive behavior is unacceptable and show him other ways to express his feelings.

What can you do for the aggression of the baby?
Keeping calm. Screaming, hitting, or telling your child that he is bad will not make him make positive changes in his behavior - you will simply entice him even more, and offer him examples of new things to try. But showing him that you can control your character, he will learn to control it.

Set clear limits. Respond immediately when your baby is aggressive. Remove it from the situation for a short timeout (just a minute or two). This gives her time to cool down, and after a while she will connect her behavior with the consequence and find out that if she bites or bites, she is away from the action.

Strengthen good behavior. Instead of paying attention to your child only when he behaves badly, try to catch him for good. When he asks to turn the turn instead of pushing the other child off, for example, praise him for verbalizing his desires. Strengthen good behavior with a suggestion to push him or play together. Over time, he will understand how powerful his words are.

Give logical consequences. If your child gets into the ball shaft in the game center and starts throwing balls at other children, immediately pull it out. When you sit down with her and watch how other children play, explain that she can return when she is ready to join in the fun, without harming other children.

Avoid reading or trying to reason with your baby. Probably, she is not yet able to imagine herself in the place of another child or to change her behavior on the basis of verbal reasoning. But she can understand the consequences.

 Wait until your baby calms down, then calmly and gently look at what happened. Ask her if she can explain what triggered her outburst.

Emphasize (briefly!) What it is natural to have angry feelings, but it's not good to show them, hitting, kicking or biting. Encourage her to find a more effective way of responding, for example, using words to express herself or ask for help from an adult.

Encourage her to apologize after she pounces on someone. At first, her apologies may be insincere, but in the end the lesson will drown.

Remember screen time. Cartoons, digital games and other media designed for young children can be filled with screams, threats, even jerks and bumps. Several studies have suggested that excessive time on the screen can contribute to the occurrence of problems in the behavior of children as they grow. Some experts are concerned that the use of the screen affects the social and emotional development of children.

Discuss how the characters work out conflicts and think through the best ways to solve them. Do not hold the TV in the background and do not put it on more mature content for older viewers. I wish you all the best and good baby.
Keep working on it and don't stress too much! Kids at that age are often defining their boundaries when they do things like that. As long as you stay involved, you should be okay!
She seems really territorial at times. You've been doing well so far, I'd say if she runs over to hit you, no matter what- grin and bare. One of my twin nephews was like this, he hit everyone really hard and in the end was all nice later. When I babysat, if he lay a finger on me- (Of course I called his mom) I unplugged my TV, sent the dog upstairs, and read a book (Still ignoring him) until he relaxed for a few minutes, then I turned the TV on. My SIL knows her discipline, she had told me to do so. If my soon to be son/daughter is like this- I will use her ways. It really worked, especially when he hit his elder twin. It's funny because he didn't dare hit his little sister because he knew his brother was always on guard.
Sign in to follow this topic