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  5. Obsessed - 3yo not yet TT,and doing my head in

Obsessed - 3yo not yet TT,and doing my head in Lock Rss

I think I am just after some reassurance - have become paranoid about the fact my 2nd who is 3 is not TT and although showing signs of being ready seems to have no desire. Tried around her 3rd birthday with good progress in the wee department and then for some reason the novelty wore off. Was going through undies and pull-ups at a great rate so decided to go back to nappies and wait awhile before trying again.

My eldest has just started full-time school so thought the removal of distraction would be a good time to start again - however we had 2 poos and 5 wees in the undies in one day. Didn't cope so well as trying to settle a 5 month old as well at the moment.

My first born picked up TT very easily so I guess I assumed no. 2 would be the same. I know they are all different and I should wait until she is 'ready'......after todays effort I don't know whether to try again tomorrow or go back to nappies until she decides she wants to use to potty or toilet.

I have tried pull-ups as well as undies but she used these like nappies....

I know I should be more patient with her - my frustrations are no doubt not helping the situation.

Sorry for the essay - just wanted some reassurance that this is normal and some advice as to whether to sit and wait or keep persisting with the accidents.

Many thanks, Robyn
Dear Robyn, You have my greatest sympathies, I have a 3.5 yr old who shows no interest at all. We have tried three times and she doesn't seem remotely interested, except wants to sit on toilet my my 2yr old is there! She doesn't tell us she is wet, or when she's had an accident she doesn't care. I feel my frustration, although I try to be consistent and calm, is also very evident to her. I've asked people and basically am told she is not ready, but I don't know if she ever will be. We stopped last time after getting back to 5-6 accidents a day and that's with constant prompting! It got too much for everyone. Thinking of trying pullups just to be a step closer to wearing undies. Would love to see how others cope with this, as I am struggling - alot! Good luck, please let me know how you go.
I have the same problem with my 3 yr old. He was doing really well then had a bout of the runs so we put him back into nappies for a few days as he didn't have much control and since then he just has lost interest. He wants to wear nappy pants but treats them like nappies and won't go on the toilet or tell me when he wants to so i have put him back in nappies for the moment. It is so fustrating especially when everyone else seems to have kids that got it in a few days!! glad i am not alone smile.

Helen, WA Mum of Michael 14.12.05

Have you tried a star chart? I started with my DD at 23 month old & have created a "Star Chat" She gets 1 star for a wee & 2 for a poo, when she has 2 stars she gets to pick a prize (Mini box of smarties, cheap hair clips, stickers). She gets soooo excited when she gets two that she is trying all the time.


Hi Robyn
I know exactly how you feel, my daughter is exactly the same she will be three in two and a half weeks and she has absolutely no interest in going to the toilet, she also doesnt tell us when she is wet and is quite happy to walk around with wet undies on. I am starting to go crazy, she is supposed to be starting pre school in three weeks and i am worried they wont take her if shes not properly trained.

Its good to know that i am not the only one out there having the same problems, i was starting to think that it was just me and that i wasnt being patient enough or trying to encourage her enough, we have tried everything and i have even resorted to telling her that i will buy her a barbie if she starts going, i feel terrible resorting to bribes.

Hope things start getting better soon.

Michelle, NSW

Hey Robyn I am so hearing you. My daugther is 3 in may. I have been able to get her to wee on the toilet three times over the past months so you would think all would be good but nope. She seems to show all the signs, even keen to sit on the toilet but we just get constant wet undies. I have tried charts, rewards etc etc and i am at such a loss. I feel so bad as I work in a creche and all the kids around her age are toilet trained. Just makes me feel like i am doing something wrong.


QLD daughter Jordan 16may07

Same issue my 2 boys trained easy and both were done by 2 and 2.5yrs respectivly night and day! were a breeze
My DD I started when she was 2 we started off well then after a few ilnesses in the family she stopped and by winter canberra is too cold for training...
So we started again this summer had a few weeks of her weeeing all the time in toilet and then we started the star chart and worked a treat and she was doing it all the time.and poos for weeks..then the novelty wore off now we have a tummy bug going through house again and she has the runs so is back in pull ups sad so so so frustrating........i feel it!

B~3/3/97 B~4/8/99 G~19/2/06

My heart goes out to you Robyn! Toilet training was the one thing I really couldn't handle as a parent! My eldest daughter was a nightmare! My first two children were only 18 months apart and I started toilet familiarisation with her when she was about 15 months which involved reading potty books, just getting her to sit on the big toilet/potty and generally just letting her wet her knickers when we were out and about in the afternoons in the yard! So she knew what the sensation was etc......I wanted her to have an idea on what was going on before bubs No2 was born a few months later! Thinking that this would help the transition around the age of 2 when I had a young baby as well!

Well wasn't I was showing all the signs of being ready! (and I don't include being dry at night a sign) I started slowly! I just put her in knickers of any afternoon as it was hot in summer so she could get used to the idea and would prompt her to use the toilet and when she wet just say "oh well" next time hoping she would think it was a great game! At age 2 and a half - she really wasn't progressing - so it was time to get serious - as she couldn't start kindy in the new year unless she was completly toilet trained! So the pressure was on....

We decided that we were going to remove nappies altogether - none at night, none at home, none when we were out and about! We had a few weeks of simply every wee and poo being in her knickers - then she decided that she didn't like this and started taking them off to wee and poo - and hide from us when she did it! Which was even more frustrating - as she obviously knew that she needed to go - as she found the time to hide from us to do it! lol Hence she could have just been going straight to the toilet! She ended up finding a favourite "poo place" and we put her potty in that spot as we thought she might like to be discreet and she would poo next to it!!! lol

Eventually we introduced a star/sticker chat and a silly poo/wee dance! Which she just thought was fantastic!!! lol Things improved dramatically! Eventually she got there! However I do believe that some kids just pick it up easier then others! She always gets so busy with what she is doing - we will often come in - (she is now almost 4) and she will be crossing her legs playing away - not wanting to go to the toilet and we have to prompt her to go!

With our second daughter the experience has been totally different! About two months ago she started asking to use the toilet and does wees and poos on there - she is totally toilet trained at home! We have a potty in her room for when she wakes in the night and for her afternoon sleep and needs to wee - and 4 out of the 7 nights of the week there are no accidents! Once she is totally trained at night I will attempt to train her - and I prompt her now when we are out and about!

It has been a fantastic experience second time around! I do wonder if this is because my second child has been in cloth nappies from birth??? She just seemed to understand when she needed to go a lot better!!! Also at nights we use a bed mat - which is fantastic! Which I have always used with cloth nappies anyway - as they do tend to leak every now and again!

So keep your head up! My third baby is due any day - and I hope that he is as easy! However it will be a totally new experience again that I this time it will be a boy!!! lol Let me know how you are going - I would love to share!!! xx

Arianna, Reagan & Oakley

hang in there keep trying and you will eventually get there.i had a terrible time trying to tt my little one.i started when he was 2 and like you i used pull ups and like your child mine also used them like nappies it took a total of 8 months straight to tt him.he had some good weeks where he would do everything in the potty and then it was like a click of the fingers and total reversed and i often wandered why am i doing this should i just give up and then the next day he would be good just takes time and alot of my only problem with him now is trying to get him from the potty to the toilet as the potty will be needed for his younger brother.another tip in the end we had to give him a reward for his business in the potty he soon got sick of the rewards but kept using his potty.hope i helped you hang in there!
Wow, can't say how much better this makes me feel. At least I know I'm not the only parent - it makes you feel like a failure, especially when everyone else you know has success! It seems that most of the answers are to persevere, but I don't know how long is reasonable without making it worse.... Hard to know I guess. Man, what a challenge!
Many thanks to all who replied making me feel so much better about the whole process. It is nice to know you are not the only one with a 3 yo very happy to stay in nappies.

We have had some success since my post. I did what some consider a no-no and put her back in nappies since that ordinary day. We started again on the weekend realising that I can't go back this time, no matter how many soiled undies!

So far she has done pretty well with prompting with only a few accidents, normally at the end of the day. I have found that her 'thing' is the wee dance, wee cuddle and high 5s rather than stickers or edible they are funny creatures!! Whatever works hey?

Poos in the undies is the next challenge...ah the joy!

Thanks again to all, Robyn
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