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  5. Desperate help please! 3 year old STILL wetting herself :(

Desperate help please! 3 year old STILL wetting herself :( Lock Rss

DH and I are totally at wits end. Our 3 year old daughter has been toilet training for close to a year now and STILL wets her knickers frequently. Sometimes she can go days of having dry knickers then days like this week where it is EVERY day several times a day. She has NEVER gone a full week of dry knickers. She does poos just fine in the toilet and she KNOWS to wee in the toilet but is just lazy. When she has good days it is amazing. We have tried EVERYTHING - discipline, ignoring, rewards, praise, the lot. We just do not understand what we are doing wrong and why she is constantly doing it. It is exhausting and just so disappointing. Any advice is so greatly appreciated.
is she nervous about something? she might still need constant reminders, kids get real self absorbed in activities, also some kids are quick to it, some arent. disciplining i dont think is the best thing to try, because if it is just an accident, she will freak or remember back to freaking out when you last told her off for it. with my son i never made comment if he wet, id just quickly change him and say oh bother, maybe you might remember to go to the toilet next time. then id leave it. but always praised how proud i was of him being able to do it all by himself etc, the less stress i put into it, the less stressed he was.

Sadly, I know exactly how you feel. I have a 5.5yr old who often has wet pants during the day. Don't even ask about nights! Last night I had to change him 4 times!! Its getting ridiculous.
But about 6 months ago, after seeing several GPs, Pediatricians, and child health nurses over the years, a GP suggested his wees (and sadly poos) in undies could be from a condition (which I can not remember the technical name for) where the muscles around the bowel and urinary tract weaken from constant "holding on". The muscles then give out and it's hard to control or even know when you have passed any wee or poo. They said that using a laxative (like Osmolax) will help relax the muscles, yes will soften the poos to the point of diarrhea, but the point is to give the muscles a break from trying and not succeeding at holding on. Apparently doing this over a long period will then help retrain these muscles and its like toilet training from scratch.
I wish I had known about this sooner as we had let it go too long and now I am told may take up to 2 years to help retrain the muscles. For some, it helps over a month or so, and others longer. Now, he is better with poos, and it's like clockwork every morning he goes to the toilet and is cleaned out for the day at school. Somehow, it has helped with wees, but instead of having about 6 accidents a day, we might have one or two wet accidents a week.
Still trying to get sorted through the nights, and now am looking at those bed wetting alarms...
Hope this helps, as I was sick of people (even a pediatrician) telling me "it's not uncommon for 18 year olds to wet the bed" and to me, that is TOTALLY unacceptable!
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