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Anxiety over how my toddler will accept newborn. Lock Rss

Hiya, I am nearly halfway with baby number 2. My son will be just under 26months when 'new baby' arrives. (Currently 21 months). I have started to get horrible anxiety about how my son will cope. He is a real Mummys boy & the thought of him being confused/feeling left out is really really upsetting me- my husband said 'of course he will feel left out hes been the only one!' gee thanks thats really cheered me up! I want to get him a present so he has something new when the baby comes as like a special thing for him too- not sure what yet though. He is really good with babies & always kisses & hugs them but im sure it will be different when they are here permanently. I dont know how to make myself not think about it & I am feeling guilty! What can I do to make it easier? We have got a brand new 'big boy room' being set up in the next few months (before the baby arrives) so that will be exciting for him & although we have told him Mummy is having a baby he doesnt understand.....
DS1 was 25-ish months when DS2 was born and to be honest he didn't even notice him most of the time! He was so wrapped up in his own little world of toys etc that he was pretty happy. He got some special new toys when DS2 was born and we still kept up our usual routines of going to playgroup etc (when I was able). I think the worst bit was when I was in hospital, I missed him so much! The 2 year age gap seems to be really good, he will be just a bit more independent that being a baby himself but not too old that he really knows what is going on and gets too jealous. They are great little buddies now but they do fight over toys a bit smile

My DS was 18 months old when DD was born, (he turns 2 in a couple of weeks) and he didn't really take much notice of her and certainly didn't understand the concept of having a sibling. As such there was no jealousy and he is really gentle towards her and got used to her really quickly. We have our moments when they both need my attention at the same time but it doesn't bother me anymore.
I still get him to help me when I change her nappy and he likes to choose outfits for her to wear. He always makes sure she has a toy to play with and loves to cuddle up next to her and she just adores him.

I think most toddlers are kind & gentle towards babies if given a chance so I think you will be ok. Also your toddler probably understands most of what you are saying so you could get him a baby doll of his own to take care of so he feels more involved. I did this with DS and he's always 'feeding' his doll bottles.

Best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy. And bear in mind that your DS will be that little bit older by the time bubs arrives and will probably be talking a lot more and also be understood so hopefully that will help with the adjustment. smile

When dd2 was born dd1 was 21months, she didn't fully comprehend what was happening. I tried to include her with things like the baby shower. I also ordered a tote bag off vista print with her name and big sister on it and filled it with goodies like coloring in books, doll, Dora drink bottles, snacks, toys etc... That was a gift from dd2 and also give her something to do whilst I was in hospital.
She was very jealous in the beginning and did strike her sister a couple of times. I tried to include her with helping me and cuddling in when I was feeding her sister. Now they LOVE each other and are so protective on one another. Watching them play and giggle together is the best feeling in the entire world!!!
When I had DS, my oldest was 22months and she was very angry, this came as a total surprise for me as she was well socialised. Not to scare you of it only took her a couple of days to realise that even though we had a new bub we still loved her just the same. We gave her plenty of hugs and got her involved with bubs as much as possible. We also made sure that visitors were aware to show her some attention to and not just the new born just so she wouldn't feel left out. Best of luck with it all, I;m sure things will work out.
I think if you're anxious your ds will pick up on it. Don't make too much of a big deal of everything, make sure he knows what's happening, both in the days leading up to the birth and after when you bring baby home.
Thanks everyone,sorry for late reply I have been sick. Am feeling alot better about it now, Must of just been having a moment haha will be sure to post how it goes in 4months smile
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