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dilema help advice needed Rss

Hello all i am after a little advice, i have been fighting with my partner the father of my two children, its just lately it seems we are bitching at each other so much over issues, and i feel that i may be taking it out on my children, DONT get me wrong i love them to bits its just i am more crabby towards them and when they are playing up i feel the need to yell all the time i get really uptight and feel like i am yelling at them for no reason, like just for being loud ect, sometimes i lock myself in the bathroom and cry for a min them feel ok, i dont want to feel like this.
i just feel so anxious all the time.

cathy vic 3 and 4 month old

Hi Carlie,

Sorry to hear of your situation!

I sometimes do the same thing if I am uptight....yell at the kids for no reason...I feel rotten afterwards and always apologize to them! I know it maybe hard, as I find it hard a lot of the time but when you feel that way and you know you are getting to the stage of yelling try to ignore it and go to your room and close the door for some relax time! I find this hard sometimes as my 3yo son tracks me down so sometimes I sneak of to the loo, as it has a lock!! Do you have family that could take the children for a few hours to give you a break?

Hope you find something that helps!

Mum(29) - DS 7yr, DD 4yr & DD 2yr

I have the same too. I found that there was actually another issue altogether behind me and my husband fighting all the time. I ended up giving the kids to my mum for the day and taking him out for a nice lunch/movie or something and then bringing him home relaxed and asking what was concerning him. He ended up getting it all off his chest and so did I and now things are much better. I think the stress builds up and the communication lines go down. Try to sort it out calmly and things might improve.
your not alone. i feel the same way too. i feel that i never get time to do what i want. my partner works so he gets a break from the kids, however i am with them 24 7. i love them and they mean the world to me but sometimes you need a break. my son is starting school this week, so i am hoping it eases the work load for me as i will only have 1 child at home. i also like to have time to myself. which hardly ever happens.

trudy,nsw,mum to kai 5 & chelsea 21 mths

i thought i was the only one. thank god for you all. not that i wish bad things on you. but i am so frustrated with my husband most of the time that sometimes i find myself yelling at my son. ive been waiting for my husband to make an appointment with a counsellor thru his work but that was way before xmas. so its up to me once again. geez we really are the stronger sex arent we?? basically what im trying to say to you, carlie, you need a mediator to help sort out the issues. wishing you luck. dont give up.
xxx
hi to you all yeah i know how hard it is for us all but you have to also think that if we have two kids well our parnters make 3 they are just as bigger babbies themselfs. I know that my husband is great and is great with the kids but we have a few blow ups. i often say that he gets a break just by going to work but he can't see that as a break. We sat down and really talked about a lot of things that we were feeling uptight with and it was then i realsied that they feel left out. BC {before children} they would talk to us and we would have nothing to distract us the conversation would flow freely if we wanted to go out on the spur of the moment we could but now we have kids its harder to do things just for the hell of it. I know that my husband wouldn't change any of this life but they do find it harder. Lot of men keep things bottled up and each time a conversation gets cut of by little people he stops altogether then he tries to talk about something else either that gets get off or we say to them can it wait were busy or can you tell me later when the kids are in bed thats when they think bugger it why bother so they dont try and then a day goes into weeks its been on their mind then one day boom they blow they we start back. It's one big circle. So i know we have so much to think about in one day but maybe before seeking help try and think about the little sensative creature who is feeling left out and make a point to ask if he has anything to say or if your lucky enough to have a baby sitter make a date together and spend it doing something special. I know not all problems can' be sorted out that easy some times they do need outside help but i didn't realise just how left out alot of men feel when the children come along.

sharyn,QLD,4yr&16mth

hi,
This sounds familiar to me at times. All I do is give my daughter a big hug and tell her I love her and I am not angry with her. I try and do something with her for awhile so she is reasured.
Barbara.

Barbara,WA,Rochelle 03/02 + Nicholas 08/03 smile

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