What Would You Do...

If your 18 year old cousin told you her BF was hitting her and almost broke her arm, but she loves him and would never leave him??? They've been together since she was 16 and she's a very shy person, he's been telling her that she'd be nothing without him etc etc.

I want to tell her parents for her sake, but in the same respect I don't want to lose her trust...

What would you do???

I think I would tell her parents, she is in danger and something needs to be done about it, she might hate you to start with but its for her own good, imagine if something really awful happened to her and how you would feel knowing that you knew all along.

Its a very tough situation but for her to tell you maybe that is her way of asking for help???? I dont know, I would hate to be in your sitution and I understand that u dont want to betray her trust but would you want to know if your daughter was being hit?

All I can say is good luck!!!!!!

I would definately tell her parents. Better you lose her trust than she lose her life. These things tend to escalate.

i would do everything i could first before telling her parents as she is old enough to run away with this boy and then she will never get out.

What about inviting them both over for dinner, make an excuse to leave the room with her and let DH have a quite word to him, nothing beats a bully like a bigger one.


it is sucha hard situation, as if ou push too hard she will cut you out and then no one can keep an eye on her, and you also dont want him to fly off the handle with her

I would tell I would hate it to get worse. At the end of the day you have to put her safety and well being first

having been in an abusive relationship as a teenager myself, i would suggest trying all avenues BEFORE telling her parents.
Once my parents found out about my relationship, my BF at the time convinced me to leave home and move in with him which i felt i had no choice but to do and it made things 10 times worse as my family wasnt around to look out for me.
i would talk to her as much as you can.
Ring the domestic violence hotline and ask them for their advice.
Tell her to ring you ANYTIME day or night if she needs your help.
And if you cant make her see sense, tell her that if she does not tell her parents, you will. offer to be there when she does as her support system.
good luck

Oh tough one Tracey
My initial thought is to tell the parents but you will lose your cousin's trust if you do this and she won't tell you anything sad

I think her telling you is a cry for help and I think you need to point her in the direction of support in addition to keeping a close eye on her and being an ear for her. Her self esteem must be low to stay in this situation the poor thing. Is there anyway u can help her find an alternate place to stay if she needs it ? Em has some great suggestions too

i don't think you should tell her parents.. she has confined in you.. i think she has spoken to you about her situation to help her free herself from the mental turmoil that she has been through.. she is probably feeling confused, afraid, angry, trapped and blaming herself for what is happening.

Abuse tends to escalate over time, when someone uses abuse and violence against a partner, it is always part of a larger pattern to try to control her..

Your cousin is probably afraid to leave.. leaving can sometimes be dangerous and there are probably many factors that her abusive partner is using to keep her from leaving the relationship. Tracey understanding these issues can better assist you to help your cousin out of an abusive relationship... try to get all the facts about relationship abuse and the resources available.. make sure your cousin has a personal safety plan for herself if she needs to leave suddenly and where she can go safely for help. here the number for the 24 hour helpline 1800 200 526 to talk with experienced counsellors, she can also call the 24 hour Kids Help Line on 1800 551 800, she doesn't have to give her name and she can request either female or male..

Why is Tracey coming up banned user??????

thats what i wondered :s

maybe she changed her username?? lol

Posted by: OmSsMyLiLmaNn
maybe she changed her username?? lol

hmmmm ... I doubt it. I have seen 'Banned User' come up before for people supposedly banned.

She got the all clear so maybe someone in the IT section didn't get the memo???