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I just dont understand !! Lock Rss

I havent read the other responses, but I have to say I agree with lukes mum. I also have a great MIL - in fact, I get along with her more than my own mum and she helps me heaps.

She is not perfect - but neither am I! I count my blessings that I 'got a good one' but I am not surprised as she raised a great man who is now my DH smile

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Wow, so there ARE others out there who have a great relationship with their MIL! I was thinking I was the only one for awhile there! lol
I understand what you are saying and ofcourse some women are just plain nasty which I also agree with you in saying, However, for those people who are living with their MILS and don't get along at all, I would be doing everything I could to get out of the situation, I don't think there is anyway the relationship could improve unless there is some distance!

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OMG - I couldn't agree more!!!! My MIL can be a cow - DH is her "baby" and I moved him out of the country and she has resented me for that since. She had a few too many one night and said her and SIL feel like they aren't his number one priority anymore and that is essentially the root of the problem. His parents divorced when he was about 9 and his Dad died a few years ago so his Mum and sister basically ran his life. We get on fine now I have realised that she is just lonely and bitter and has a massive chip on her shoulder. She is loaded and worries about spending money on a newspaper lol!!!! She is generous with birthday's and Chrissy, is a good Grandma to a point (won't get up to kids if crying in night as she needs her 12 hours) and we don't see her much - once a year!!!! She has never said anything nasty or hurtful to me - rather what she doesn't say and her actions are the giveaway - I'm not going anywhere and she knows that so it's all good. I get driven nuts when she visits and she sleeps 12 hours and gets up and ignores the kids and gets herself organised then swans around asking what we are doing today but I just suck it up and remember her good points remind myself never to be like that when I'm older lol!!!!
I sometiems feel it is a case of not what your MIL says ...it is the fact that she is the one saying it !! ....

Life is far to short for grudges and one day we will all be in Kristys boat (having no in laws cause they have passed away ) I am sure some could care less weather their MIL lived or not ...but some are not talking or simply snide with each other for no apparent reason ....you will one day regrett all those years of stress ..cause one day they will die and you will feel horrible ..no good thinking "I should have done this ..or should have not said that " after they are gone ...it is to late then !!
i love my mil! i get along with her aswell as my mum and when she calls we end up having half hour phone conversations and i can complain about DP to her and she agrees with me alot about him and if he is mean to me she tells him off lmao!

I agree that not all MILs are horrible but turning the other cheek doesn't always work and not all MIL's motives are pure. I really wanted a good relationship with my MIL as my Mum passed away before I met DH. I would have loved her friendship and support when my children were born. For years I ignored the barbed comments and put downs for the sake of my child and DH. Things never got better and in fact got worse. She couldn't deal with the fact that when you make your own family they come first. I always encouraged DH to keep in contact with her and for her to see her grandchild.

After 12 years we had finally had enough. She was not supportive of DH's sobriety and in all her tirades to get DH to leave me, she never mentioned the welfare of my daughter. You would not believe some of the awful things she did. If I could have seen good behind what she was saying and doing I would have encouraged DH to maintain contact but her concerns were always selfish.

I know she loves her son but I think her inability to understand and accept that he has to put his family first and actually loves people other than her has is detrimental to our children and my DH.

I don't have a son but I will everything to ensure that when my daughter's start their own families I will be supportive and accepting of their decisions.
I forgot to say I have a lot to thank MIL for - my wonderful DH - he's a great man, husband, father and friend and she should be proud - the fact the people find it hard to believe he is from the same family as MIL and SIL is hilarious. My theory is the less you react to jibes and snipes the less fun it will be for them to make them - like kids really - no audience is no fun.
Has anyone had the thought that we will eventually be MIL's or FIL's ourselves one day? - Lets hope we don't give out future sons or daughter in laws reason to be writing these threads about us!!!
Posted by: Stephanea
Oh Frankie, how i wish my drama's with my MIL were as simple as that!! Lol.

But she is nothing but a two-bit, white trash stoner!! Lol. I know that doesn't seem nice, but trust me, it is!!

But i am nice to her (face)...just because i can't be bothered with the drama and because it's not worth it.

I'll admit she does try sometimes, but it's soon forgotten by her asking us for money for food, or to use our cars.

Like she will spend all her money on something for Khai, but then ask us for money so that SIL can eat that week!! She gets anglicare to pay her bills so that she can spend the money elsewhere.
you have my point exactly Steph ...your mum is a stoner and you just put up and shut up ...you can see her faults and dont hold your children against her ...good on ya .....you are looking out for your family first but not out nad out nasty to her ...

as for izani (I am going by memory ...hope i got it right !! lol lol lol ) ...I am sorry your MIL is so horrible ..i guess she is the "other" type I am talking about ..you have to protect and support your family first and if she cant fall inot line with this ..then ...sorry ...see ya !! ... hopefully one day you can have a relationship that all girls need with an older woman ..I am sorry !!
my shotgun will stop me being a fil for another 30 years

I have great IL's and I do count myself lucky because I know it's not the case for everyone! They can be pretty nosey but at the end of the day I try and remember it's because they care. DH is a bit of a mummy's boy but she has always been nice to me thank god *phew*
LOL, I was just thinking the same thing! 99% of us will be the dreaded MIL before we know it and going from the amount of "I hate MIL" threads odds are we arn't going to be the big Cow's in our DIL's eyes! 2 sides to every story hey. You have to remember that w LOVE our kids to the absolute end of the earth and it would feel as though nobody is good enough for them I suppose...but I dn't think ALL MIL's are horribly nasty for that reason alone.
Also, I totally disagree with people who yell and/or abuse their MIL while in their own house. SIL did this to our MIL who is the most lovliest person around and because of it, I have lost the last remaining shred of respect I had for SIL. In SIL's house, then fine, she can say and do as she pleases, but when you are a guest in someone house, I think it's the height of disrespect to abuse them under their own roof. but that's just me, apparently I'm a 25 year old prude! lol

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