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I know this mum and she abuses her poor little almost 2 yr. Should I report her? She throws him across the room aswell. She even admits to it and doesn't care! She goes and sleeps during the day and leaves the door wide open and lets her son play in the yard without supervision...but he climbs over the fence...I would hate for something terrible to happen to him! She is always calling him 'her problem', which I hate!

What should I do?

Mum(29) - DS 7yr, DD 4yr & DD 2yr


this is a hard situation, and I guess the decision is yours to make no-one elses. If you do go ahead and report her, will she know it is you that has done it and then cause you problems? Something to think and also is she giving you bait to report her? It sounds like she doesn't deserve to have this child, is teh father around and does the father know the situation at home. All questions that need to be thought about before doing anything.

Goodluck with your decision, sorry that I can't tell you what to do, but in the long run it is your decision no one-elses, and it all depends on how you are going to feel about yourself if you do report it.

Heather
I have been in this situation, and I put it off for a long time. i kept hoping that someone else would report it so I wouldn't have to. One night I had this horrible dream that my nephew died and he was blaming me for not helping him. So the next day I rang and reported the abuse. I made an anonymous notification to Child Youth and Family. As far as I know they haven't done anything about it, but at least I feel better knowing I have done what I can.
Good luck with your difficult decision.

Mum to Maya Grace 02-03, Sienna & Mercedes 10-06

It's such a horrible thing to have to deal with aye, and i cant believe some people can treat people like that. My sister is a social worker at child youth and family and you can make annomonys calls to report abuse cases and so legally you are protected and they will never know your identity if you choose to ring. I don't want to pressure you in any way, but i think it is a good idea to report it, especially when it is young children who have no way of protecting themselves. They wont necessarily take the child away from the parents (they assess the situation first) but they will help the parents to deal with the problem and work out further support. Its a tough decision but children need to be protected.
All the best with your decision, and im sorry that you are in that kind of position.
Wow- it really seems like a cry for help to me - even if she doesn't know it. I think that I would be asking myself how I would feel if something really serious happens to that little one if I did nothing. Not that I make light of your situation - Not at all! It is a really tough position to be in. The anonymous call sounds ideal, but I would imagine that even if you did give the department your details, the mother would not be told who 'dobbed' her in. All the best for your very difficult decision.

Domestic Goddess Mum of Four!

i was in the same situation and i wished i did something about it. i didnt have the courage i feared for my daughter and i would never risk her. she is my first priority but i am regretting not doing anything about it. thank god someone else did something (the father is into drugs hard and has become violent and kinda psychpathic) and he scares me. i really didnt want my daughter being hurt. if noone did anything this little boy would have died. and i wish i'd have had the courage to do it. but it is your choice.

no NO child deserves to be treated so wrongly. if the parents dont protect him WHO WILL???

as parents its our job to look after the well being of our children.

some people dont deserve the love and the blessings children bring

Narelle, Eilish 5th june 2002 TTC since dec 2002

i was in the same situation and i wished i did something about it. i didnt have the courage i feared for my daughter and i would never risk her. she is my first priority but i am regretting not doing anything about it. thank god someone else did something (the father is into drugs hard and has become violent and kinda psychpathic) and he scares me. i really didnt want my daughter being hurt. if noone did anything this little boy would have died. and i wish i'd have had the courage to do it. but it is your choice.

no NO child deserves to be treated so wrongly. if the parents dont protect him WHO WILL???

as parents its our job to look after the well being of our children.

some people dont deserve the love and the blessings children bring

good luck.

Narelle, Eilish 5th june 2002 TTC since dec 2002

When I rang CYFS, it was anonymous, but I was warned by the social worker I spoke to that "sometimes they guess, and sometimes they guess right". I guess if you tell CYFS certain things the parents of the child might figure it out.

Mum to Maya Grace 02-03, Sienna & Mercedes 10-06

sorry ppl i didnt mean to post that twice my computer is bodge at the moment and it pretends it dont send something so i send it again...

sorry

Narelle, Eilish 5th june 2002 TTC since dec 2002

this is really sad.
can you tell your GP? and hopefully he will be the one to do something? Or is there someone else you can tell?

This cannot be allowed to continue. How an earth can you throw a "almost 2 year old" across the room and be able to sleep at night?

i'm sorry but you have to do something....whether you tell the authorities youself or get a go between, something has to be done. An "almost 2 year old" cannot defend themselves aginst an adult.

Jo

mum of 1

Hey mum78, You certainly are in a yucky position. Its a damn if you do and a damn if you dont!

However as the other posts have said children that young can not speak for themself. Us as adults have to protect them and help them in every way possible. If this person doesnt/hasnt manage to do permanent physical damage what is she doing to him psychologically? Just imagine the one person you love & trust hurting you in that way. That poor child will not be able to trust people as it grows up. The other aspects are this, abuse is a vicious cycle you give what you get. This child could grow up doing the same thing to others not knowing any different, just because he was treated like that.

I work in an industry that has a lot of "dob in's". We dont push for the callers particulars and ask at the end is there anything in this statement that could identify you and if so what? When I type the statement up for them I also refer to them as the caller never he or she. Also we may not get a lot of information from one caller so perhaps what they are phoning about may not be enough for us to chase up. However if we get 2 or 3 callers with more and more information then sometimes that is all we have been waiting for to take action. What I am trying to say is perhaps others have complained and the authorities are just waiting for the extra bit of information. I think the government department you would contact is DOCS or Dept of Children Services. They should have the number listed in the white pages.

You could always ring from a public phone booth and ask what information they need and talk to the person on the phone for advice. Can you contact the father or a family member without telling them who you are and telling them what you know. As the other post said perhaps speak to your Dr or health nurse. The fact that she is telling you makes me wonder, is she asking for help from you and doesnt know how to put it in words?

There are a lot of services with help and support and even counselling available. Maybe this person is still suffering from PND and really needs help. The list just goes on and on.

Good luck with what you decide but remember if anything was to happen to this little helpless boy, could you live with yourself if you did nothing?
totally agree with calebsmum

i really wish i had the courage to do something about the little boy i was talking abouy dylan was not fed for days on end. was left in a room where people used to do drugs (first outta hospital i am talking about and months and months after) he was left crying in his wet dirty nappies and clothes, i mean he was not treated right. if it wasnt for friends of the "SO CALLED PARENTS" he would not be alive and that would be my fault. i'd not have been able to live with myself.

i smack my daughter but it breaks my heart to see her cry. how could someone throw their child across the room. someone really needs to help the poor little boy.

people that have been abused usually stop the cycle (fairly rare) or comtinue it.

is there someone else she might have told so you can go together (if you decide to???)

good luck. this is a hard thing to decide. i wish you the best. my prayers are with you.

Narelle, Eilish 5th june 2002 TTC since dec 2002

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