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Confessions or secrets?? Lock Rss

I confess...

Before finding out we were pregnant with J I had decided that I didn't want to have kids for another 8-10 years. It wasn't part of my 'plan' to have kids in my early 20s and for a little while I resented that I wasn't going to get to do what I wanted when I wanted to do it

I'm uber jealous of my friends who travel the world and wish with all my heart that it was me however once I stop and think about it I know that the world will wait for me.. I hope smile

I don't know what I want to be when I grow up - there are so many things I want to do

I was scared that I wouldn't be able to love Ry as much as I love J when I was pregnant with Ry.

I am a messy MESSY person (just ask Justy or Luci lol)

Even though my parents are f'wits and I don't need them per se, I still wish they loved me half as much as I love my kids.

I wish that I was adopted because at least then I wouldn't know my parents were f'wits and I could create an illusion that they were really amazing people that couldn't look after a baby at that time in their life but they love me still to this day and wish I was theirs for keeps.

I used to spit in my mother's coffee as I was too scared to poison it for fear that she would be able to taste it. It was my little way to have one up I suppose.

I also used to purposely make my mother's coffee incorrectly just to annoy her.

I believe that no one in the known universe can care for my children as good as I can.

I am a perfectionist and will accept nothing less from myself even if it is regarding something I have never attempted before.

I have one bestest best friend that I met through hubby however I have two very extremely close seconds that I met through here.

Metaphorically speaking, I judge books by their covers.

I am the world's best procrastinator

As per above I also confess that I should be studying right now

and I think that's enough for now smile
[Edited on 15/08/2009]
Wow, reading this didn't make me feel better....but more like wow, I can open up on this one and be honest. smile

My biggest guilt factor is the fact that when I gave birth DS, I handed him to my mum before my own DH (DS' father) got to hold him. I always felt so bad about that and this thread made me sit down and open up to him about it....he said he didn't even remember that and it never registered! So for 19 months I've been feeling too scared to say anything to DH for fear he might be bitter, yet he didn't even care...

I also confess that I AM NOT a natural mother. I love kids and have always worked with them (travelled the world working with troubled kids!!) and yet I continually need a break from DS, get super frustrated with him and get really stressed when he refuses to have a day-time nap because I don't get my 'me' time and don't get any time to study. Oh and I don't want anymore kids because I don't think I'd cope yet feel so guilty not giving DS a sibling to share his life with...

I also confess that although I'm a 4th year counselling and psychology student, I don't believe adults can change. Which is a really bad thing...and the main reason why I'd never be an adult psychologist.

My most recent confession: yesterday, I made M&M cookies....and forgot an entire step of the recipe! They're so gross. lol! I didn't put eggs or vanilla essence and right now DH is trying to give the whole lot to my dad to take home with him. lol!
I confess that I worked as a prostitute for over 6 months before dp found out, I stopped and he forgave me and we are still together but sometimes I wish he had never found out and that I was still working.....
opps double post
[Edited on 15/08/2009]
Posted by: cajary

Metaphorically speaking, I judge books by their covers.

I am the world's best procrastinator

As per above I also confess that I should be studying right now

[Edited on 15/08/2009]

I have to agree with all of those on my own behalf also.....
Posted by: ?*?*?*
I confess that I worked as a prostitute for over 6 months before dp found out, I stopped and he forgave me and we are still together but sometimes I wish he had never found out and that I was still working.....

Woah! That's heavy!
I admit to getting frustrated with DS when he doesn't listen and sometimes I just want to shake him (I never could do it though) I also would love to give DF a solid smack in the head.

Sometimes I resent DF for being an alcoholic even though hes been sober for over a year now (the money we could have saved was spent on booze).

Sometimes I wonder if I want this baby (I love it already, I'm worried about how things are going to be)

I love my babies and DF dearly but sometimes I just want to go get obliterated drunk.

I have no regrets though and for the most part I'm really happy with my life smile

Love my boys M-10/05/08 J-01/12/09

Where to start..............
I will admit I think my husband is stupid.
That I hope baby #3 is a girl.
I also hide the good ice cream so I dont have to share.
My husbands best friend made a move on me a few years ago.
Ive never been a bridesmaid and that makes me sad.
I love watching Bold & the beautiful.
I think DD#1s teacher is lazy and annoys the fluck out of me.

Mr Reed born 20/1/2010. Too cute smile

I've got a couple of new ones just for today....
I had a glass of wine at 4o'clock this arvo (with a friend) and usually I wait til 5 (I only drink 2 nights a week).

I gave DS tinned food for dinner and DD got a cheese toastie.

I have resented my DH all afternoon because he got to go fishing for hours and I only got about an hours peace.

I did no exercise today and I feel blah for it!!!
Some of these I'll admit too, I would copy and say which ones but there's too many!

When I was pregnant with Emilie sometimes I wondered if we'd done the right thing and I was worried how it would disrupt Maddi. I never thought I'd love them the same! Stupid really cause I do love them the same and Maddi isn't bothered at all lol, she loves Em!

I'll admit that someone forced me to have sex with them when I was 17 and I never told anyone except a few close friends and I wish to god now I'd sent him to jail. When me and DF were first together (when I was 19) I sometimes thought he'd hurt me because of that. It really upset him and he punched a hole in the door.

I'll admit some days I hate cleaning and it brings me down my house doesn't look good. But other days I love cleaning and it makes me feel happier when it's done and I have a better day.

I like putting the washing on but I hate folding and putting away.

I'll admit sometimes I wish DF would help me around the house but asking isn't worth the trouble.

I'll admit I get angry/depressed really quickly and often over nothing big and then I sit there and think about how much my family don't care about me and wish I could move where no-one knows me.

I feel guilty about how Emilie was born and it kills me I didn't get to see it. But one of my favourite memories of all time is the first time I got to hold her. It was when she turned 2 days old, 5 o'clock in the morning and it was all quiet, just me and her and she snuggled into me.

i will confess that my 3yo DFD has been sitting at the table for 2 hours now, and she IS NOT getting up till she finishes dinner. i am so sick of wasted food

the other DFD also ended up in portacot for time out after throwing her plate across the room, after not eating ANY of her veges, only the fish.

i will also confess i am now in the worst possible mood and i will give them no leeway for the rest of the night grrrr

i hate every thing about myself especially my weight

im not good at being social, talking or making friends

i hate my parents with a passion but sometimes cry over them

ive suffered from depression

i cant stand our unit anymore

cant leave the housework or i stress in the middle of the night and do it at 3am!!

i am happy but i am sad

tried to commit suicide about 4 years ago

wish i just could be content and happy with me and my life..
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