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  5. to say I'm angry is the understatement of the millenium

to say I'm angry is the understatement of the millenium Lock Rss

I am so angry I feel like yelling/crying/spontaneously combusting.

My sister has been in a relationship with an abusive man on and off for years. Every time she leaves him she ends up back with him again. Every time she leaves we ( me and my family) pick up the pieces and give her an ear and a shoulder and anything else she needs.

Last time she left him I thought she was finally rid of him. She applied for a DVO - which he fought and it went to trial and it was really stressful for the whole family - but she won and got the DVO. Then she was going through family court with him trying to limit his access to their child because she (my sister) said that he was a danger to the child etc etc. She had me so worried and stressed so many times because I was afraid he would go mental and hurt my sister and my niece. I lost sleep over it countless nights.

And this week she went back to him.

I don't even have the words to say how I feel. i feel betrayed and so angry. she has put us all through hell and probably will again. I feel like severing the realtionship for good. I dont' need the stress in my life.

trying not to cry here.

hey hun

oh no! thats awful. i dont understand why woman go back into those situations when they have an out and especially since she had already gone through the hard part!. i can understand how you feel, it turely rips you heart out! just makes you want to scream blue bloody murder!

have you told her how you feel?

she knows how I feel - she was hiding the fact that she has gotten back with him but i found out. I sent her a fuming email telling her exactly how I feel.

No doubt I will get the following response from her (have heard it all before) - you don't know what it's like/you're lucky you have a good husband/I don't want to raise my child alone/she needs a father/it's different this time/he has changed/he is saying good things I have never heard before and made real progress/I have more control this time yada yada yada frigging yada

i hate it when they are sneaky.. honesty earns you more points!

the oldest excuses in the book. yip heard them all before. just trying to guilt her way out of being the bad guy basically. oh god.. it sucks cause you cant just tell them what to do!
i bet you and your family are just heart broken! its soo stupid how love makes you do the stupidest things! its very sad cause a lil girl has to suffer:(

sad

awww hunni here a hug ooo. it must be sooo hard im sorry

You must be so frustrated, to have to sit by and watch would be agonising!

If you are really worried that he will hurt your neice, have you thought about contacting child protective services?


well that is the thing - if he really was that dangerous why has she gone back to him?? Has she just feeding me a load of cr@p all this time?

how well do you know him?
yea cause i know i would never let my son be in any danger or let him be put in any situation like that. its a basic mothers instint. is she an atention seeker? not to be mean in anyway, just wondering. cause maybe she just needed to feel loved or something i dunno its mind boggling.

I dont know, when she replies to your email maybe ask her why she isnt concerned about the safety of her daughter, and if she isnt worried about the physical safety, what about the mental safety, does she want her daughter to follow in her footsteps?

You've probably said it all before, but maybe one day it will actually mean something to her and cause her to change their future


It would be very frustrating to sit and watch a family member go back to an abusive situation, but it's def not an unusual occurrence. Stats say that women will averagely leave their abusive partners 6 times before they will leave him finally. I doubt she has made up that he is dangerous, and she is afraid, but as difficult as it is to understand, she truly wants to believe that he has changed. We all say that we would leave after the first punch/verbal abuse, but until faced with that situation we don't really know how we would react.

IN saying that, I don't envy your situation, and can see why you feel really used and betrayed
[Edited on 11/12/2009]
i completely relate to this situation..

my sis had a baby to nightmare of a bloke who was violent, etc..but once she moved back home when they finally broke up (cus he left her for her bestie) he came over to mums house on drugs and broke in and tried to kid nap my sis...another time he had smashed all my parents windows in the loungeroom and just made everyones life a living hell.

she got a restraining order against him but still gave him visitation rights to her bub.

about 3 months after all this i found out she was staying there every weekend and had gotten back with him!!?

my family and i were obviously all in shock and felt extremely betrayed because that man made us all live in fear and to this day he still does...
but now she has come to her senses and has a new boyfriend but tbh hes not much better, i dont no if hes violent but hes very controlling. so i do hope ur sis wakes up to herself like mine did and realises shes no longer the only person in her relationship and its destroying everyones lives.
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