Ending Pregnancies

i just wanted to say - before every kjumps up and down for ppl sayin they wouldnt do it, and why they wouldnt do it.

SHE ASKED!!! simple as that!!

yes noone knows what she is goin thru, but simple fact is she asked whart we would all do, she cant go all waa waa cos ppl are saying no!!

i said i wouldnt do it, but would consider adoption, but that doesnt mean i think she is amurderer!!

To find out how you really feel with all the pros and cons, counciling can only help. Just make sure you see someone who has your best interests at heart.
There are 2 of us sitting here right now reading all that has been said.
One of us has one child, an easy pregnancy, a DH who is away alot, and is currently under going procedures to find out why we cant concieve.
The other, has one child, pregnant with her second, bed ridden pregnancies, didn't enjoy the first 6 months, and DH is always home.
And we have both suffered the loss of pregnancies.
Has anyone considered the other kids. If mum cant get out of bed, and there is no other support, what happens to them. Who feeds them, dresses them, takes them to school, etc? Thats not considering all the things an expecting mum needs.
Both of us are coming from different circumstances and neither of us know what we would do. We wish you luck

Okay, I only read the first page and I am not reading any other members replies as I can see that this has turned quite ugly.

"You" are the only one who can make this decision and I feel that you need some counselling so that you make the "right decision for you", not anyone else on this forum.

I can see exactly where you are coming from, looking after 2 kids close in age is very hard work. Those who have husbands/partners who help out are very lucky, I have a husband who is home most nights, sometime for more hours than others, sometimes on work calls all night, sometimes called out to work at god knows what hour! Sometimes I feel like a single parent as he doesn't really do much to help me. I have no idea of how I would cope if I didn't any help from him at all. Atleast he is here to play with the kids and keep them a little occupied.

Moving house is horrible and I imagine building one is even worse, all that extra pressure, memories of previous difficult pregnancies, add you hubby not being there, 2 little ones already and another one cooking....... STRESS CENTRAL.

You have every right to terminate if that is what is right for you. A child should only be bought into the world if it is wanted and if the parent knows that they can cope. From what you say it doesn't appear that you will be able to cope at this time in your life.

On a side note, I personally have a problem with children being born from rape. For me there is always a fear that the child will find out the circumstances of their conception and may find it very difficult to come to terms with. Also, if adopted they may have a constant yearning to find their birth mother and then the questions of why didn't you want me..... but that is just me.

Best of luck with your decision.

An opinion. That's what was asked for.

Mine is NO. I could not do it. And I would not ever do it.

DD2 was unplanned and I fell within 6 months of having DD1. And not for one second did I ever consider termination. Having been told I could never have kids when I was 23, and finally falling pregnant some 11 years later randomly, this is what is meant to be. I have now planned to have the next bub with the same age gap because it worked for me. If I hadn't have gotten pregnant again, well, so be it.

I am what you might term fiercely against abortion. I have know people who have terminated pregnancies in the past and are now struggling to have children. And I think to myself perhaps that is because the children they were meant to have had were "terminated".

As for the "right" reasons, IMO simple inconvenience is never a right reason. It's not like someone gave you a puppy but you realise you don't have time for it. This is a child. A life. A representation of you and your partner's love for one another. I find it amazing that anyone could even consider destroying that.

This is my opinion, my thoughts, think what you will, I'm just answering the question that was asked. No, I would not even consider a termination in your circumstances.

For the record I hate being pregnant too and tend to get complications of various sorts, but I figure the result at the end far outweighs the crapdom of pregnancy.

Posted by: little-tiges
To find out how you really feel with all the pros and cons, counciling can only help. Just make sure you see someone who has your best interests at heart.
There are 2 of us sitting here right now reading all that has been said.
One of us has one child, an easy pregnancy, a DH who is away alot, and is currently under going procedures to find out why we cant concieve.
The other, has one child, pregnant with her second, bed ridden pregnancies, didn't enjoy the first 6 months, and DH is always home.
And we have both suffered the loss of pregnancies.
Has anyone considered the other kids. If mum cant get out of bed, and there is no other support, what happens to them. Who feeds them, dresses them, takes them to school, etc? Thats not considering all the things an expecting mum needs.
Both of us are coming from different circumstances and neither of us know what we would do. We wish you luck

Well said. The simple decision to have a planned child has an impact on the current family, never mind the impact of the unplanned pregnancy.

It would be awful for the op to simply go ahead with the pregnancy because she was pressured into it. I had 2 text book pregnancies and births. If I found out I was pregnant then I would have to sit down and consider it very seriously because my first thought would be termination! I don't think I could cope with another newborn in the house and I think it would definetely impact negatively on my existing children and certainly my marriage.

Where has the OP disappeared to?

ok so apparently i am now worse than a troll as i edit my response, and remember i also broke Wishfulthinkings bed (bwahahaha! this place is better than the bold and the beautiful!!). if YOU were around at the time of this post happening you would have known my edit was taking the pi$$ out of the PM's for shooting me down for having an opinion. So i became a sheep. Of course if you read on more than just the first page you would know that wink

farmgirl - didnt u post the other week saying u and your DH wanted another child? and if that was crazy??

Posted by: W.T.Flap
ok so apparently i am now worse than a troll as i edit my response, and remember i also broke Wishfulthinkings bed (bwahahaha! this place is better than the bold and the beautiful!!). if YOU were around at the time of this post happening you would have known my edit was taking the pi$$ out of the PM's for shooting me down for having an opinion. So i became a sheep. Of course if you read on more than just the first page you would know that wink

no I never said you were WORSE than a troll, I said as bad as.

If they were your TRUE feelings on this subject then why edit them? I don't get the point of going back to edit them (even after yo claim it was to 'take the p1ss' ouf of people) considering I have been told and seen that you are the type of person to say WHAT you feel/believe, or have I been misinformed or have I mistook (is there such a word? LOL) your posts? I'm not saying that what you said in your original posts were wrong, after all how can your OPINION be wrong? Like I said I just don't see the point of editing them if that's how you really feel IYKWIM

And I saw the thread that got confused an people thought you broke WTF (or WFT? lol) bed!
[Edited on 20/02/2010]

My reply was a generalised reply based on the first page.... I know you well enough Cathy to know that you do not set out to hurt people just for fun.

my opinion is there for all to see. i was quoted, and i have not approached anyone to remove my quotes from their posts. I stand by my opinion. It was a direct go at those who PM'd me.

Yeah, righto!