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  5. Do you ask your DH/partner if you can spend money?

Do you ask your DH/partner if you can spend money? Lock Rss

So first of all I'll tell you what I heard.

I was in Myer fitting rooms trying on some stuff in the lingere section when I heard the lady next to me on the phone. This is how the conversation went and I could obviously only hear one side (and no I wasn't trying to eavesdrop but she was next to me and I couldn't not not hear it IFKWIM?)

Woman: Hey it's me, how's your day?
guys talks
Woman: I'm just at the shop and I tried on a bra and it's.... (obvious pause) $60. So just wondering if I can get it?
I can hear him talking but no idea what he says
Woman: Well I've spent a little today as I had to buy nappies and I put petrol in the car.
I hear him kinda sound a little angry like he is telling her off
Woman: ok, yep, ok.
The conversation ends and she walks out. Not sure if she buys it or not as I'm in the changeroom for a few more minutes.

Now this is just me but I thought it was a little odd. I have never had to ask my DH permission to buy anything, we both earn money and as soon as we became engaged and knew we were going to be together for ever, his money was my money and vice versa. We are a team. I was on mat leave for 12 months and wasn't contributing anything to the family budget in that time but still I knew I was allowed to buy what I wanted when I wanted. If it's something worth hundreds of dollars we usually prefer to buy those things together anyway but for anything under a couple of hundred we can just buy it. We trust each other enough to not just waste money so we are confident in what each other purchases. It's not like we have money to waste so we have to trust eachother on that.

But maybe we are the weird ones??? Do you have to ask your partner if you want to buy something or justofy what you have spent money on?

we have always had separate accounts, and we kind of have our own money to do what we want with spending wise IYKWIM. if it is a big purchase then of course i discuss it with him first, but for bras? no way! if i need new bras i will buy them...not that i ever do i have been wearing maternity bras for the last 3 years just about hehe

we have an account that DH's pay goes into (i'm on mat leave, in the last almost 3 years i have worked for 10 weeks!), then we each have a spendings account. my account also gets the FTB, which i use for groceries, nappies etc. his pay account pays for the other things like petrol and other incidentals. we transfer money aside for bills into other accounts. then money goes into our spendings account for us to use however we like.

in saying that though, i am in charge of the banking and bill paying etc. i don't like to let him do that - a good reason why: on the weekend we discovered that he hadn't paid his drivers licence renewal since nov last year and has been driving around without a current license all that time! blink i think that is the only bill that he was supposed to take care of last year!


So first of all I'll tell you what I heard.

I was in Myer fitting rooms trying on some stuff in the lingere section when I heard the lady next to me on the phone. This is how the conversation went and I could obviously only hear one side (and no I wasn't trying to eavesdrop but she was next to me and I couldn't not not hear it IFKWIM?)

Woman: Hey it's me, how's your day?
guys talks
Woman: I'm just at the shop and I tried on a bra and it's.... (obvious pause) $60. So just wondering if I can get it?
I can hear him talking but no idea what he says
Woman: Well I've spent a little today as I had to buy nappies and I put petrol in the car.
I hear him kinda sound a little angry like he is telling her off
Woman: ok, yep, ok.
The conversation ends and she walks out. Not sure if she buys it or not as I'm in the changeroom for a few more minutes.

Now this is just me but I thought it was a little odd. I have never had to ask my DH permission to buy anything, we both earn money and as soon as we became engaged and knew we were going to be together for ever, his money was my money and vice versa. We are a team. I was on mat leave for 12 months and wasn't contributing anything to the family budget in that time but still I knew I was allowed to buy what I wanted when I wanted. If it's something worth hundreds of dollars we usually prefer to buy those things together anyway but for anything under a couple of hundred we can just buy it. We trust each other enough to not just waste money so we are confident in what each other purchases. It's not like we have money to waste so we have to trust eachother on that.

But maybe we are the weird ones??? Do you have to ask your partner if you want to buy something or justofy what you have spent money on?


No I dont ask my husband if I can spend money its usually the other way around hahahaha! Sounds like the lady on the phone could be having money troubles, my gosh we all know what that is like!! Things are so dare these days! Alot of people have to live by a budject to get by one week to the next its very normal..
And maybe the husbands hours change every week so some weeks they have more some weeks they have less... Poor dears...
If DP has extra money from scrap or helping with odd jobs i ask him if i need to use any but with the rest of the money he asks me as i control the budget. Our budget is very tight.
No I do not, he is the main earner here, I work casual and atm its very quiet but clothes, underwear, shoes etc are essential items and I would never ask his permission.... we DO ask if its a large purchase of course but things like that no I don't...

though I am one of those stupid people who feels guilty buying things for myself.... I came home the other day and showed DH my new bathers...(my old one were so see through I was wearing a long singlet in DDs swim lessons!!) and 'justifying' it by saying they were on special and it really sh its DH when I do that, as he ends up telling me to shut up, I do NOT need to justify buying something i need!

Oh and seriously if I DID ring him whilst bra shopping he would be that excited and telling me to buy heaps as long as they are not like the rest of my boring sensible underwear tongue
We check with each other for any non food purchase however that is because our budget is very tight at the moment. When we had a slightly higher income we'd still talk about the bigger purchases but I wouldn't have asked for permission to purchase a bra. I probably wouldn't pay that much for a bra though, I try to buy them on sale.

ETA: I control the budget so generally know exactly how much money is in the bank so I know we can't afford it myself but I ask DH because I like to check that there isn't any expenses that I didn't previously know about (work trainings, uni commitments etc..) DH asks me as he has know idea, he doesn't even have an ATM card at the moment so normally just takes off with mine tongue
I dont ask DH permission but I dont go buying things that arent essentials usually. We discuss big ticket items and that's a mutual decision but for every day things like groceries, clothing (not that I buy much and hardly ever for myself) and things for the kids I just get it. I'm a SAHM and I manage our budget, so he's the one asking me for some money smile Not that I give him an allowance as such, he just doesnt know when bills are coming out or where the bank balance is out so will just ask me when he needs cash.

You never really know whats going on with other people though, it does seem funny her ringing to ask if she can buy a bra - but possibly that's because its a $60 bra and money is tight for them. Doesnt seem right he got angry at her though but guess we dont really know the full situation.

I've rung DH before when I wanted to buy DD a new coat... but that's cause I'd already bought her lots of clothes... and I wanted to make him feel like he had some input smile smile
we have 3 accounts. his, hers and the house account.

i work and my wage goes into my account. dh works and his wage goes into his account. we then put a certain amount into the house account as per our budget to cover all house related, including kids, dental, every damn thing you can think off.

the balance of the money remains in our own accounts to pay for things like clothes, hair cuts and anything else we want.

so no i dont have to ask my dh whether i can spend money for things like bras and clothes etc. nor do i ask him when i go spend up on pp sites. i just tell him afterwards that we needed it and then reimburse myself from the house account.

all other things house related we consult on. especially if it is above $200.

i really think separate accounts are a good idea cos then there is no need for justification etc. dh doesnt understand the need for handbags, $30 conidtioners etc and no amount of explaining it to him would make him agree that it was necessary.
It depends. I'm a SAHM who earns zero. I don't ask before buying clothes, groceries, petrol, anything like that. However, if the item was expensive (say over $100) then I would ask. We are both tight-a**es anyway grin and trust each other not to empty our account. We both know when bills are due, etc, so we are both in control.

Perhaps that lady and her family are on a tight budget....or she's been a big spender.
i am in charge of the money here and my pay goes into an account and his goes into the mortage account and bills account..... if there is anyleft over after paying for bills and stuff its fair game.... normally spent on kids etc...

I generally have a weekly budget going on in my head but never ask him if i can spend anything..... he just thinks if i brought it we can afford it.... unsure tongue

but at the moment we have bills bills bills, and i just went to the dentist this morning $650 can't believe it...

but until i went back to work we were checking with each other if we could buy bread etc.... as the mortage would go out once a month and we didn't want to stuff it up...... but money is better now i am back at work
Ha ha I DO!!! not because I have to ask his permission but for some reason i just always ask his opinion. I dont work so im always spending his money but like you we think of it as "our" money if its only $10 or $20 i dont but if it was a $60 bra i would call him and ask him what he thinks. He always replys with "Whatever I dont care" or "If you want" so i really dont know why I do it just always have...... yes i am weird!
Yes i would ask my husband if i could buy a $60 bra, we don't have much money these days so i would think that a $60 bra was something that i dont need, if i needed bras of course i would get them and of course i would tell DH that i was getting them but i would never spend that much money on a bra without asking DH 1st. Same goes for him, he would never buy anything without asking me and thats with any amount of money.

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