feeling a lil hurt

i feel like a lil kid again wanting my mummy's attention or something but i just have all these memories and feelings from childhood.

Basically ever since i was a kid my bro has been the favourite. My mum was always boasting about his achievements in sports and never about mine (although i do admit i was never a high achiever) and then when my younger brothers were older it was my baby brother who was favoured and we even called him the platinum child and my older bother the golden child and me and my middle bro were never worth the mention- even though he has a add and managed to finish a tafe course and became a qualified mechanic (even though it took him twicw as long).

I finished a diploma course in tafe (children's services) all i got was oh that's good and over heard her saying that being a teacher was no big deal in regards to some other family member.

Then yesterday i told her i enrolled into a uni course and she didn't even ask what it was or even one question. I brang it up later saying that i can get a really good job with this qualification and again nothing. But then she went on to tell me how my baby bro was getting a raise cause the boss told my dad (they are friends) that since he started the sales have gone up cause of his cooking.

Now i feel like a jealous sister, i am super proud of him, but i feel like nothing i do is ever good enough or as good as him. She has even told me about my cousins achievements at uni, it makes me feel worthless and stupid cause i am 35 years old and i don't need my mum's approval. I would be nice just once for her to say a simple good on you sad

No need to reply i just needed to get it out and hopefully feel better.

BIG HUGS!!!

That is a bit unfair that she won't take any interest, to not even ask you what the course is, is just harsh, it is a long standing joke that my brother is my mum's favourite and I am my Dad's (so says our big sis) but both parents are extremely interested in our lives. Could you maybe say something to her & let her know that it is hurtful that she is ignoring your achievements & goals.

Hope things pick up

it sucks doesn't it. I don't have that problem but reading your story made me feel bad for you.
How hard would it be for her to ask you some questions about it, aghh!! some people just don't get it.
maybe you just need to come out and say to her 'hey, i matter too, would it be to much for you to ask what i am up to!'
hope you feel better soon.

Why dont you ask her straight out why she doesnt voice how proud she is of you? How that makes you feel. Give her examples of why she has made you feel this way smile

Even as adults we still like to think our parents are proud of what we've achieved and that they dont play favourites.

Hugs for you. Its hurtful when you have worked so hard (and it is definately something to be proud of) and your mum wont even acknowledge the hard work that has been put in by you.

I think what your doing is amazing!!! well done!

it is not petty to feel that way. i could tell you that you should be proud of yourself and not rely on your mother to say nice things etc, but you always will. it is natural to want your parents to say well done or be proud of you.

my parents are/were like that. you try and try to make it not matter but it still stings a little.

chin up and good luck with your uni course.

thanks guys

see this is why i feel stupid cause she is a great mother in every other way, she rings up often to say hi and ask how i am and the kids and she cares and help out when she can, it just this one thing that has always been there and it it hurtful cause it's like she resents me achieveing things.

i want to ask her but i don't want to come across as a lil jealous child, maybe i'll talk to my dad, i'm sure he will acknowledge it. I'm hoping this cause will give me the confidence and skill to be able to do this.

agh, i don't know, maybe i'm a bit emotional cause there has been a lot of bad things happen to me and my family.

Anyway, i'll get over it.

Hi.
My Mum is the same. It must be that they are from the same era! I was telling her that i was having some issues with my health and that was impacting my uni (I am studying online) She got a snippy tone and asked if I was 'going to drop out again'. I took a break after having DS#1 as I really wanted to love and raise him myself. She has never given a happy or excited response to being told of our impending children; it hurts A LOT even years later.

So... what are you going to study? I am so proud of you to make this move! Well done sweetheart!
xx

Big hugs.

What you have described is how my mother was treated in her family. In her family there was 4 girls and 1 boy. The boy was always over looked but he dealt with it by joining the navy at a young age and going away. The four girls just constantly compete with each other for the parents attention still to this day. My mother is not highly intelligent so she just looks like an attention seeking child compared to the others. She is almost 60 and still she is trying to keep up with her sisters. Even now, as my grand parents are still alive the four girls are still trying to out do each other. Family events like Christmas day are so annoying that i don't attend anymore. Every since my brother and I were old enough she would use us to compete with her sisters. Even now, she goes on about my job, or my house or what car we have to her sisters comparing me to my cousins and there families. This annoys the HELL out of me but to her it is a way of life. I avoid her and I have limited contact with her and argue with her everytime I find out she is doing this.

SO, my advice to you is, just except that your mum loves you in her own unique way. Maybe she thinks you are the best mum to your kids or something. Just try to distance yourself from it and live your own life the way you feel proud. Please try to let it go as I have seen how it has eaten and consumed my mother.

Hi.
My Mum is the same. It must be that they are from the same era! I was telling her that i was having some issues with my health and that was impacting my uni (I am studying online) She got a snippy tone and asked if I was 'going to drop out again'. I took a break after having DS#1 as I really wanted to love and raise him myself. She has never given a happy or excited response to being told of our impending children; it hurts A LOT even years later.

So... what are you going to study? I am so proud of you to make this move! Well done sweetheart!
xx

geez, sorry to hear that, that would hurt an awful lot to know that your mum was not excited about your children. Thankfully my mum is super excited about my kids and is a wonderful grandmother.

Maybe you are right and it is the era, maybe thay think we should just be happy being bearfoot and pregnent unsure

my course is bachalor of applied social science (community services) and what are you studying mama moo?

My kids are so lucky with their grandparents they all adore the ground they walk on and then some. I just thought that she would be super excited at the announcement not warm up to the idea a few weeks months later; Never mind my Dad was super dooper excited and almost fell over himself literally to hug and rejoice with me.

I am studying Primary Education.

I think you are going to do really well with your course, you seem a caring and compassionate person. It takes a lot of guts to do this sort of thing at this stage in life. The fact that you are doing this is enough to make you stand tall and hold your head high!

My kids are so lucky with their grandparents they all adore the ground they walk on and then some. I just thought that she would be super excited at the announcement not warm up to the idea a few weeks months later; Never mind my Dad was super dooper excited and almost fell over himself literally to hug and rejoice with me.

I am studying Primary Education.

I think you are going to do really well with your course, you seem a caring and compassionate person. It takes a lot of guts to do this sort of thing at this stage in life. The fact that you are doing this is enough to make you stand tall and hold your head high!

thank you for your kind words, it's appriciated.

hey, you look a little familliar to me, like a girl i went to tafe with?
Are you from sydney?