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Depression with baby #2 Lock Rss

hey ladies, i'm just wondering if any of you had PND with baby #1 - and if you had the same with #2???

I had pre natal depression when I was pregnant with my son, which turned into PND after he was born... I tried antidepressants, but didn't like the way they made me feel, so dealt with it without drugs.. I feel now, like I missed out on a lot when my son was newborn, because i never wanted to hold him or cuddle him. he was about 6 months old before I actually started to bond with him. Now, he is 18 months old, there is no going back! he is the love of my life!!

I'm starting to think about having another baby - my husband would really love to have two, and its starting to appeal to me too, because of the amount of love and laughter my son brings to my life. I still have days where i feel a bit low, and I worry about how i would cope looking after a newborn and a toddler...

What worries me most, is that I will feel the same way with baby #2. Has anybody had PND twice, and if so, was it better or worse the second time around?? Did you find it harder having a newborn to look after, while running around after a toddler?

If so, how did you cope? Any help on this would be much appreciated! I would really love to have another baby, but am terrified of feeling the way I did when DS was born!
HI ,

Sorry ,no experience....but as a mum i just want to advice you forget about past few months and just think about ur second baby and luv ur first one prepare yourself to welcome the coming beautifull days sweety.....try to imagine ur second baby is coming in ur arms ur going to hold and give LOTSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS OF LUVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV.

Thanks
Hi Becs,
I can't comment on what it is like with #2 yet (not due to arrive till Feb!) but I am interested in the replies too. But it is wonderful to hear from others who have been in a similar situation.

I had PND with DS#1 (now 21m old and also is now the love of my life!), but I never sought help at the time as I don't think I realised the extent of it until after 12m when things got a lot better. But after I got pregnant with #2 - reality hit me. I realised what a crap time I had in that first year and that I had experienced real problems bonding with my son - and that I was soooo scared of history repeating itself. After nearly breaking down in the midwife's office in the first appointment, she referred me to a psychologist who is working with me to help me understand what happened & what I can do about it this time.

I am also scared of how I will cope with a toddler & baby, but have started to plan for things like keeping/putting my son in daycare for a couple of days just to make sure I get some time to just me & baby. I think the positives this time are that IF it does happen again (which I pray to God it doesn't) I will be more aware of what to expect, what I can do that can help and hopefully know that there is an end point (even if recovery is slow!). Good luck Becs!
thanks girls...sweet_baby - you're right, my husband tells me the same thing - forget about the first few months, they go so fast, and focus on the positive... smile

Greendog - how are you feeling about your second pregnancy? Were you happy and excited about your first?? My husband and i were due to have IVF and we got pregnant naturally the month before we were scheduled to start - but when I was about 12 weeks, things turned to custard sad I decided that having the baby would ruin my life, and it was the worst decision i had ever made. I remember laying in bed crying, begging my husband to let me terminate (so glad now he refused!!!) other than that, i never told ANYONE how I felt - and it was only when my son was about 6 weeks old that my husband made me go to my doctor that i was told that i had experienced PRE natal depression - i had never heard of it! Knew you could have post natal depression, but didn't occur to me that I was suffering during my pregnancy. One of the worst things was the guilt, because we had wanted this baby for so long, and suddenly, I didn't want it!

I have told my husband that I want to go see a counsellor before we try again - get my head into the right space before we proceed with TTC !!!

please let me know how you get on - would love to hear how you are going!!!
Hi Becs, Sorry for late reply!

For my first pregnancy we decided to have a baby, but due to my medical history was expecting it to take a while. However, much to our shock, my son was conceived after 2 months! I was pleased to be pregnant, but in reality - he came about earlier than I would have liked. I worried about the implications and change of lifestyle that a baby would bring. Others would say "how exciting!", but I didn't feel that way - more "apprehensive". All in all I just felt very unprepared, and I think this followed through to after he was born. It didn't help he arrived at 7 1/2 months, plus I developed post-natal complications. I experienced a lot of guilt that started early after he was born, particularly around the lack of bonding. I knew I should feel immensely happy that he was doing well, but all I could focus on was the trauma & problems I was dealing with. I think I realised that the way I was feeling wasn't 'normal', but it was very difficult to tell people about it...particularly the extent of it. I think I was very ashamed of how I felt.

This time - it wasn't so easy to conceive & it was frustrating - but I am glad too - because this time I really do feel 'excited' about this baby. Maybe that comes also from knowing more what to expect? However, on the flip side, I feel very guilty that I never felt this way about my son! I am also nervous/scared. What if things don't go so well again and I then have problems (again) with bonding??? And while I do hope that I bond a lot better with this baby, I worry that it if I do, it will feel so unfair that I never got the same chance bond with my beautiful son. I can't win! <span class="emoticon sad">sad</span>

I think going to counsellor before TTC is a great idea - wish I had done it now, then maybe I could have relaxed more in this pregnancy (especially the first 12w which were a rollercoaster of emotion!) but I kinda thought that since I had worked my way through the PND, that I didn't really have so much of an issue...whoops. <span class="emoticon grin">grin</span>

I would love to know how you get on too!
Just replying because I'm worried about this too. Feeling apprehensive about this baby and how I will cope again! I've started off by telling my gp about it, and she has promised she'll be in close contact throughout the pregnancy and do extra close followups afterward. She's also going to make sure I have midwives visit me regularly at home for as long as possible when bubs is born. This will make it easier for me to bring the subject up if I'm not coping (i hope) as I won't have to explain the last time again too.




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